Reading: Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian III: The Argonauts
by Engineer4Ever
Summary: The final reading of the long awaited trilogy. Watch as the cast of PJO read on about the second Titanomachy.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own ****_Naruto_**** or ****_Percy Jackson and the Olympians_****/****_Heroes of Olympus_****.**

**Reading: Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian III: The Argonauts**

**Prelude: Phoebe's Gift**

A new book appeared before the audience.

"Finally," Apollo smiled, no more Dite's kid. It was his kid's time to shine!

"Aren't you happy, Thalia?" Annabeth asked with a grin as the hunter glared at her with a grumpy look.

"Shut up, Annie."

"So, who's reading?" Apollo asked.

"I will." Jason said.

"Alright, good man." the sun god nodded.

After he cleared his throat, Jason began to read of the new and final adventure of Apollo's son.

**The sun shone brightly down into the window of a bedroom. A young boy with wild blond hair groaned and rolled onto his stomach. He grabbed a pillow and pulled it onto his head. The pillow warmed too quickly and the boy yelped. He tossed his pillow at the window and scowled at the current bane of his existence.**

**"Alright, alright, geez, I'm up," he said. The sunlight died down and he sighed. **

Apollo snickered. He loved doing that to people.

"So, where's Naruto?" Percy asked, not that he really cared.

"A new challenger has appeared." Leo said in a deep voice.

**He rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom across the hall. His hand grabbed onto the doorknob and jostled it. Nothing.**

"**It's occupied, dork!" A girl's voice called from within.**

"Ah, siblings hogging the bathroom." Apollo nodded. "Never had to deal with that with Arte. She always went outside."

"Why you-!" Artemis started to strangle her twin for having the very nerve of mentioning that! She was a hunter, true, but she never-she didn't go outside!

"Artemis." Zeus said tiredly as Apollo started to turn blue. "Enough."

Artemis mouthed 'I'll get you later.'

Apollo blew her a kiss. Adding more fuel to the fire, yes. Well worth it? Double yes.

**He groaned and pounded on the door. "Hurry up, will ya? I've gotta pee!"**

**The loud whirr of a fan caused the girl to shout. "Go use another bathroom then, this one is occupied!"**

**He pounded on the door again. "How long have you been in there?"**

**"None of your business! Now beat it before I call Mom!"**

"I'll tell!" Piper snickered.

**Resigned to his defeat, he walked down the hall to the stairs. The floorboards creaked and protested against his steps, but he ignored them and continued on. The smell of cooking meat filled the air and the sound of something sizzling hit his ears.**

"Bacon..." The guys said, each with a dreamy smile on their face.

"Gross." Piper gagged. "Those poor pigs."

**The bathroom could wait. Food was needed. Now.**

"Like every boy." Artemis rolled her eyes. "They think with their stomachs."

"Damn right," Apollo said.

**"Morning," he said as he came into the kitchen and plopped into a chair.**

**The cook smiled lightly. "Morning, Bolt."**

"Bolt?" Hades asked dryly. He snorted. "What shmuck would damn their child, Bolt?"

"I think it's a fine name." Zeus huffed.

"Yes. Because naming Percy "Fish" would have been just as fine." Poseidon rolled his eyes as Percy paled at the very thought.

**"Bacon and eggs, again?" Bolt sounded a bit disappointed.**

**The cook turned and narrowed two purple eyes at him. "Do you have something against bacon?"**

**"No, but this is like the third time in a row," Bolt said. "How many pigs did you kill to get all the bacon?"**

"Exactly!"

"Piper, get off the soapbox." Leo rolled his eyes. Piper just stuck her tongue out at him.

**The cook huffed. "Personally, I didn't kill any. I did pay a farmer for the meat though, so take your beef up with him."**

Apollo chuckled. "Ba-dump bump."

**"That was bad," Bolt said. He failed to hide his snicker.**

**The cook tittered as she made a plate. "Still made you laugh, didn't it? Where's your sister?"**

**"Hogging the bathroom," Bolt said. A plate was set in front of him and he smiled. "Thanks, Baachan!"**

**Kushina smiled back at him. "Anytime, Nikkō."**

"Waifu?" Apollo gasped. "What's she doing with this new kid?"

"Shut up and we'll see." Athena told him.

**Bolt pouted. "Baachan, I'm eight years old, don't call me that anymore."**

**"But you'll ****_always_**** be my little sunlight, Nikkō," Kushina gave him a tight hug. **

"Aww," Annabeth said. "That's adorable."

**She kissed him on the head, making him whine. "You've got a test today, eat your breakfast and then go get ready."**

**"Hai, Baachan," Bolt said. He ate an egg and then went back upstairs to prepare for the day.**

**Muffled rock music came from the other side of the door with various signs that either said "No Dorks Allowed" or "Keep Out" **

"Typical sister stuff." Leo nodded. Nyssa was like that, too.

**and in the center was a poster for an ****_old_**** rock band called AC/DC. **

"Girl's got good taste." Thalia smirked.

**Bolt had heard a few of their songs before thanks to a few archaic things called CDs he got from his grandfather. **

Apollo rubbed his chin, a smile slowly splitting his face as he made the connections between all the clues.

**They weren't bad, but it was really weird to play one.**

**Bolt went into the bathroom with his chosen attire and showered. When he stepped out, he took a moment to look over himself in the mirror. Unruly blond hair that made him look like he was struck by lightning, blue eyes that were on the edge of being either electric or the same shade as the sky, and two whisker marks that covered either cheek. **

"Wait, whisker marks? Blue eyes boarding electric or sky blue, blond hair…" Annabeth trailed off with a grin.

Thalia choked on air and started to pale. "No way."

"Yes!" Aphrodite beamed wickedly.

Zeus huffed angrily while Apollo beamed.

"Awesome! A grandkid!"

**He then made a few faces before brushing his teeth. It was the little things in life he did to make himself smile.**

**Bolt left the bathroom fresh and clean, with a white T-shirt that had a small spiraling flame on it and black shorts that had pockets to hide all his troublemaking gear. He had a big plan for Aburame-sensei and Sarutobi-sensei today. He grabbed the supplies he needed from his room and ran down the stairs, nearly bowling over his sister in the process.**

**"Watch it, dork! You're going to get someone killed," Joan said. **

"Named her after Joan Jett, huh? Nice one." Apollo nodded in approval, while Thalia was still in shock.

**Joan was a teenager, having been born five years before him. She was a near carbon copy of their mother; only she had their father's unique eyes and faint whiskers hidden underneath her freckles. Even her personality was the same as their mom's.**

"A Thalia clone?!" Nico gasped out.

"Gods save us all." Percy whispered in a mock serious voice. Thalia came back to reality still a bit pale.

"Shut up." She snapped at them. Stupid cousins.

**"Maybe if you moved your big butt I wouldn't run into it," Bolt said in return.**

"Perfect siblings." Apollo nodded.

**"You little-Come here!" Two tanned hands reached out to grab him, but Bolt slipped away and ran into the kitchen, his sister right behind him. Bolt skid to a stop before he could run into the woman giving him the 'Glare of Doom' (patent pending) **

"Yeah, that's Thalia's glare, all right."

"Annie!" the red faced hunter cried out.

**from the kitchen entryway. She was dressed in formfitting black jeans, a solid black shirt and a white jacket with gold trimming. ****Her untamed raven locks reached her tense shoulders and two intense eyes glared down at him for daring to run within her home.**

"Hot." Leo said, getting glares from Zeus, Artemis, Thalia, and Jason. "What? It's true!" he cried out. Not like Thalia would give him the time of day.

**So distracted by this obstacle in his way, Bolt failed to elude his sister, who grabbed him under the head with one arm and proceeded to give him the worst noogie of his life to date with the other hand.**

Jason pursed his lips...he wanted a noogie from his sister. He sighed. They've missed so many sibling moments.

**"Ow! Joan! Stop!" Bolt struggled to get free from his older sister's wrath.**

**"You need to learn some manners!" Joan said as she ground her knuckles into his head. There was a sharp whack and Bolt dropped to the ground, his hands on his head. Joan held her own and scowled at her attacker. "Mom! He started it!"**

"Arte would say that _all_ the time."

"Because you do, Apollo!"

**"And I'm finishing it. Get in the kitchen, both of you."**

**"But I already ate," Bolt said.**

**"Kitchen." The electric blue eyes narrowed. "Now."**

"Stern mama." Piper whistled, getting a glare from Thalia.

"A heavy hand is important." Reyna idly commented with her lips pursed. She had been updated on her affairs in this story. And currently she was not pleased for her other.

**"Yes, Mom." The two siblings quickly took seats at the table across from each other. Bolt tried not to meet Joan's eyes, but he failed in his endeavor and swallowed heavily when she mouthed 'I will get you later.' **

"I feel for him." Jason said for his nephew. Thalia was a bit scary.

**He made note to stay out of Joan's sight for most of the day until she cooled down.**

**"Here you are Ran'un." Kushina set a plate down in front of the girl.**

**Joan frowned. "Baachan..."**

**"Don't you start too," Kushina said with a smile. "If I can still call your brother Nikkō, you'll still be my little storm cloud."**

"Ran'un." Annabeth smirked at Thalia, who scowled.

"I swear Annie, I will tell stories about you as a kid."

"…Still worth it."

Thalia clicked her tongue.

**"What's the word for pain in the butt?" Thalia asked with a smirk.**

**"I thought they called that 'work'?" Kushina smiled and handed a plate over to Thalia, who took it with her left hand, a golden and silver band on the ring finger.**

"And canon!" Apollo beamed at seeing his mother's ring.

Thalia nibbled on her lip.

**"That's only if you hate your job, Kaachan." A tall man walked into the kitchen, he wore a white flak jacket over a white shirt with a golden Omega on the front. A pair of dark jeans covered his legs and taped around his left thigh was a kunai pouch. The man had short hair and three whisker marks on either cheek, unlike the two that were on Bolt and Joan's.**

"…He got even more attractive." Aphrodite said as she ate up the image while Apollo beamed proudly.

Some of the girls blushed and their boyfriends groaned. Leo was outright scowling.

Thalia swallowed heavily.

**Thalia turned and smiled lightly. "Morning, Whiskers."**

**"Morning, Lia-chan." Naruto bent over and gave Thalia a kiss on the lips. Bolt gagged and Joan rolled her eyes. Their parents were so gross sometimes. He grinned when his father put a hand on his head and ruffled his hair. "Morning kids. Ready for the test today, Bolt?"**

**Bolt grinned. "You bet! I've got it in the bag! Shikadai already gave me the answers!"**

"Smart boy," Hermes grinned and gave him a thumbs up.

**Naruto grinned back as he pulled out his seat. "Atta boy."**

**"You really shouldn't encourage their cheating, Naruto," Kushina said, waving her ladle at him.**

**"If you're not cheating, you're not trying." Joan loosened her headband around her neck and shifted her shoulders to adjust her flak jacket.**

"Chunin, huh?" Annabeth smiled. "Guess she's good."

"Damn right," Thalia mumbled. Her cheeks heated at the looks she got. "Shut up."

**Naruto beamed at her from where he stood. "That's right, hime."**

**Bolt snickered. "Yeah, she's a princess, all right."**

**"Shut up, dork," Joan said. ****Her sun-like pupils glared at her brother for his mockery.**

"I never got to call you dork," Thalia said wistfully to Jason.

"Please don't start," Jason said dryly.

"Shut up, dork."

**"Stop fighting at the table," Thalia said around a bite of her bacon.**

**"Yes Mom." The two siblings settled for glaring at each other.**

**"Thanks, Kaachan." Naruto took his offered breakfast and set it on the table. "How many more days do you have off?"**

**"Lady Persephone was kind enough to give me these past three. **

"She's sweet like that." Demeter smiled.

**I have to leave today, sochi," Kushina said. Naruto smiled sadly and gave her a hug. They held it for a few seconds before Kushina walked around and hugged her grandchildren, kissing both on the side of their heads before she gave Thalia a hug goodbye.**

**"Same time for Christmas this year?" Thalia asked as they pulled apart.**

**"Hopefully," Kushina said. She sighed. "That idiot just ****_loves_**** to laze around in the winter."**

"Do not." Apollo crossed his arms childishly.

"Do too." Artemis rolled her eyes.

"You always pick on me!"

Artemis cracked a little grin.

**"I think it's cool!" Bolt said. "Dark most of the day and bright for a bit, it's like a giant firework!"**

"Thank you, Bolt!" Apollo grinned. "He's my favorite legacy."

**"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Joan said.**

"Indeed, Joan." Artemis nodded. "Smart girl, just like her mother."

"Lady Artemis..." Thalia ducked into her jacket.

**Now seated at the table, Naruto whacked her hand with his fork. "Be nice."**

"**Yes, Daddy," Joan said.**

"She's a daddy's girl, huh?" Jason smirked.

"With a dad like that, why not?" Piper asked.

"True."

**She glared at Bolt when he made a victorious face at her.**

**"Bye!" Kushina exploded in a plume of smoke.**

**Bolt looked at his father. "When do I get to learn that?"**

**"After you graduate," Naruto said. **

"Boo! Teach him now!" Hermes cried out.

**He put his egg between two pieces of toast and went to Thalia's side. He kissed her softly. "I should get going, too. Big day, today. Meeting and all."**

**"Yeah, yeah. Just get going already." Thalia said with a small smile.**

**"So eager for me to leave! It's almost scandalous," Naruto said. He chuckled at the frown she gave him and stole another kiss. "Tell your mystery boyfriend I said hello!"**

"Like her father," Hera said scathingly under her breath. Zeus gave her a hurt look and Thalia glared at her.

She was nothing like her dad! ...In that sense, anyway.

**He vanished in a flash of light.**

**"That idiot," Thalia said under her breath, her cheeks the lightest tinge of pink. She gave a stern look to her son. "You're ****_not_**** allowed to be like your father when you grow up."**

**"What? Why?" His dad was awesome!**

"Right?!" Apollo nodded. His kid rocked!

**"Because he ****_always_**** makes Mom hot and bothered before he leaves." Joan smiled innocently as Thalia glared daggers at her.**

"Snarky daughter is snarky." Piper snickered while Thalia groaned.

Even her own kid was against her!

**Bolt just looked between them in confusion. "What's that mean?"**

"I swear I've seen that look on Percy." Annabeth giggled, getting a dull glare from her boyfriend.

"Thanks." He said as dry as sand.

**"You'll find out when you're older, dork," Joan said. She set her plate on the counter and ran for the door. "I'm going out to train with my team! Later Mom, bye Bolt!"**

**The door was open for a second before she took off to the sky. **

"Correction, Thalia Two Point Oh." Nico said.

"Shut up!" Thalia glared at her cousin. She was kind of miffed her daughter could fly while she couldn't. Stupid fear.

**Bolt pouted jealously. He wished he could fly like that.**

"At least one of them is grounded." Percy grinned. "Eh, eh?"

"Lame." Leo said with a raspberry.

**Last time he tried to copy Uncle Jason, he broke his wrist.**

"Way to go, Jason," Leo said.

"It wasn't like I was teaching him!"

**"Help me do the dishes, Bolt," Thalia said, sighing at her daughter's behavior. "Then you can go to school. And you ****_better_**** stay there."**

"Ah, hooky," Hermes said. "I loved creating that."

Athena glared at him. "At least you gave me forewarning so I could make truancy officers."

**"Yes, Mom."**

**"Settle down, settle down." ****The tall and stoic man that was Aburame Shino, known as Aburame-sensei by the class, looked at his students****. His gaze was locked on one student in particular behind his strange glasses. **

"Interesting eyewear." Aphrodite said with a wrinkle of her noise.

**He turned and nodded to his companion, who shrugged with a carefree smile on his face.**

**Bolt smiled innocently as he assumed his sensei stared at him. The last thing he needed was to be called out before the fun could really begin. The test was passed out by Sarutobi-sensei and Bolt stared at it for a moment before he looked up at his teachers. Both were sitting down.**

**Perfect.**

"My prank senses, they tingle with delight." Hermes said with a growing smile.

**His hands came together in the ram seal and Bolt channeled his chakra to the seals he had slapped under the chairs after school the day before.**

**Sarutobi-sensei's reaction was the most distracting, but Aburame-sensei was certainly the most entertaining. While Sarutobi-sensei jumped up and hollered while he held his rear end, **

"My butt is stunned, I need a Full Heal!" Leo cried out.

**Aburame-sensei went stiff as a board and slumped forward.**

"He shocked his teachers." Annabeth gasped. Her mother looked livid.

Percy nodded in approval.

Thalia was outright grinning while her two divine brothers laughed.

**Bolt grinned at his co-conspirator, who rolled his eyes and pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it across the aisle. He copied the answers word for word and then handed the answer key back.**

**_Thank you, Hermes_****, Bolt thought.**

"Anytime!"

**"Bolt!"**

"Dammit, Herm! He got caught." Apollo frowned at his brother.

"…Well, he should've prayed more!" Hermes said in an effort to defend himself.

**"It wasn't me, Sarutobi-sensei!"**

"Like that works." Percy scoffed.

"**Sir, you have to call his parents! They need to be the ones to discipline him. Nothing we do works," Konohamaru Sarutobi said to the head of the academy.**

"Well, didn't he get to be handsome?" Aphrodite asked with a smile.

"**I don't have to do anything of the sort." The man had his hands intertwined in front of him, and frowned at Bolt. "You do know what I will do instead, yes?"**

**It took a few moments, but suddenly Bolt's eyes were wide. "Just call my Mom, please, Umino-jiji! Anything but **_**that**_**!**

"I don't know…Thalia seems like the grounding type." Hazel hummed.

"No T.V. or video games!" Leo gasped. "The horror..."

**If my dad finds out I'm responsible for ****_that_****..."**

**"Yes, Hokage-sama would be displeased at his favorite restaurant's sudden decision to blacklist him," Iruka said. **

"Kid's good." Hermes said, looking impressed.

**He rubbed his chin. "I suppose the only other option we have...is detention..."**

"**Yes! Yes, anything but **_**that**_**!" Bolt nodded frantically. The last time his father was kept from Ramen...well...He heard that the village of Iron **_**was**_** a nice looking place.**

"Wow, extreme reaction much?" Percy asked.

"Not really with this one," Artemis said with a thumb to her brother.

"Hey!"

**Iruka smiled at the amused Konohamaru. "See? No fuss necessary. Just send a note for three weeks detention home. For now, let him enjoy his weekend. If he has one."**

"I doubt it." Thalia grunted. _Detention? Little brat…oh gods, I'm getting into it!_

**Konohamaru chuckled. "You're a sadist, Umino-san."**

**"I'm insulted that you would say that, Sarutobi-san," Iruka said. He waved the two off and went back to his ****book that depicted a boy standing in the ocean with a sparking tube in his hand****. "Now go, both of you. I have reading to do."**

**Konohamaru shook his head and led Bolt out of the office. "How does your dad do it, kid? A series of books and running the village? Shadow clones?"**

"And he's a writer now? Brilliant!" Apollo grinned. "Thalia really lucked out, huh?"

"I suppose." Artemis commented since she liked Naruto.

"I'm right here," Thalia said in a tiny voice.

**"They're unreliable," Bolt said with a frown. It just sunk in that he sacrificed the next three weeks of his freedom to survive his father's wrath.**

"A wise play," Athena smirked.

**Hopefully, it was a smart decision.**

**"Well, I hope he plans to hand the hat down soon. People aren't going to care who runs the village if his books keep selling like they are. What number is he on? Three? Four?"**

**"His next book is a special one," Bolt said with a smile. "Neechan wrote a story for it.**

"Oh-ho! A budding writer as well?" The sun god grinned.

"Definitely got that from her father." Percy snickered, he ignored the death glare from Thalia.

**And I got to help Grandpa write one!"**

Apollo smiled and placed a hand on his chest. "Bonding time with a grandson, nothing sweeter."

"Knowing you, you'll end up corrupting him somehow," Artemis said dryly. Thalia scowled slightly at the thought.

"...You just love taking your shots at me today, aren't you?"

Artemis' lips tugged upward in a small smirk.

**"Really?" Konohamaru asked. He opened the doors to the academy and smirked. "I'll have to check it out when it's released. ****Maybe if it's good, you can use that to increase your grades. ****Get going, Bolt. And don't cause any trouble today."**

**"Yes sir," Bolt said. He ran off and jumped at the nearest cart.**

"He's going to cause trouble." Leo said with a smirk.

"Duh." Nico snickered.

**He climbed to the roof of the building next to it with a gleeful smile on his face. With a sudden idea, Bolt turned right and headed for one of his and Joan's favorite baby sitters.**

"Baby sitters? Maybe an aunt or uncle, perhaps?" Piper asked with a smirk. Jason smiled at the thought.

"Stuff it, McLean." Thalia glared at her brother's girlfriend.

**He came to a stop when he got to the tall mountainside. To the left was a pond nearly large enough to be a lake and to the right was a large cave carved in beneath the seventh head on the Hokage Monument. Hesitantly, Bolt went into the cave. It wasn't that he was scared of what was inside, but the darkness always made him uneasy. **

Hades chuckled darkly at that, getting glares from Zeus and Apollo.

**He swallowed and snapped his fingers. His hand crackled to life with blue static, giving off a dim glow.**

"Seems he got the electricity in the family." Frank commented.

"Good for him," Annabeth shook her head. The kid must go wild with it.

**"Ojisan?" Bolt's voice bounced off the walls of the cave. There was a deep growl before something slipped around his ankle and Bolt was pulled into the cave with a yell. He soon found himself dangling upside down, his electric blue eyes staring into a giant red one.**

"The Fox…" Apollo glared at the image.

**"You should keep yourself aware of your surroundings, Bolt." The owner of the eye turned Bolt around and set him on the ground. "Shouldn't you be out pranking someone?"**

"A monster after my own heart." Hermes beamed.

**"I wanted you to teach me a new trick!" Bolt grinned eagerly.**

**"No." The fox didn't bother to hesitate.**

"Ouch, sad face." Leo winced.

**"What? Come on, Ojisan!"**

**"Go ask your father."**

**Bolt frowned. "Dad's too busy."**

**"Then ask your mother to help you with your electrokinesis."**

**"I already learned the basics and she won't help me with anything else until I'm a ninja," Bolt said. If only he hadn't broken his wrist when he was six.**

"Motherly love."

"Annie, quiet."

**The large form of Bolt's Ojisan shifted until it was fully facing him. "...How goes your chakra control?"**

**"I can walk up ten feet without falling off the tree," Bolt said. ****That was higher than anyone else in the class.**

**"...Come to me when you can walk up and down a thirty foot tall tree." The red eyes closed and a deep steady breathing filled the air.**

**Bolt frowned. "Can't you teach me anything?"**

"Pay rent or get out." Nico thumbed at the door.

**A red eye cracked open. "You won't leave without something, will you?"**

**"Nope!"**

**"Fine." The large kitsune sighed. "We'll work on aerokinesis again."**

**Bolt groaned. "I'm no good at it, though!"**

Thalia seemed to smile at that.

**"That's why we practice. You may never be able to fly like your sister or uncle, but gusts of wind are no laughing joke. The best way to practice this is to learn something your ****_grandfather_**** made."**

"Because I'm awesome." The sun god said without any sense of humility.

**"You're going to teach me the Hiraishin?!" Bolt's excitement made him glow lightly.**

**"No."**

**Bolt deflated and dimmed.**

**"I will be teaching you the move he created based off of my attack: The Rasengan."**

"Awesome spinney ball of doom!" Leo cheered.

**Bolt's eyes widened excitedly. Even Joan didn't know the Rasengan yet! She'll be so jealous!**

"Arte always is of me." Apollo nodded sagely.

His twin scoffed. "Hardly."

**"Ow," Bolt said. After a few hours of failed practicing, he left his Ojisan's cave sore and littered with a few scrapes that were slowly healing up. Bolt winced at the nasty gash on his palm. It wasn't as bad as it was before, but he couldn't go home with it. His mom would ask too many questions – not to mention freak out at the gash – **

"What loving mother wouldn't?" Annabeth asked with a smirk.

Thalia glared at her with a red face. Gods, she wanted to die.

**and his dad would probably figure out where he had been.**

**So, he walked to his second home away from home, the bookstore. **

"Good for him," Annabeth beamed, making Percy roll his eyes.

**He liked reading, ever since his dad first read him ****_The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Ninja_**** Bolt was hooked. He even had copies of his dad's books, and he knew Joan had a few of them, but neither of them said anything. They didn't want their dad to try and appeal to them specifically...or stop with the free previews.**

"Spoilers." Apollo hissed darkly.

Hermes smirked. He loved spoilers. Gave him all the dirt.

**"Hey, Bolt-kun!"**

**Bolt smiled at the cashier. "Hey, Reiko-neechan!"**

"Oo, Nike's legacy." Aphrodite smiled, remembering that little cutie of a baby.

**"Hiding out again, huh?" Reiko smiled back at him. She was a few years older than Joan and just an inch or so shorter than his mom. Her brown hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail and her golden eyes were hiding behind two wire-framed glasses. She was dressed in a tracksuit that Bolt heard his father say was a gift from her grandmother.**

"Sexy." Leo whistled, getting a few nods from the younger gods.

"Quite the beauty." The love goddess nodded in agreement.

**"Yeah, just until I finish healing some scrapes," Bolt said.**

**"Went to see Kurama-sama again?" Reiko asked. She shook her head. "Your mother will have a cow. ****And then Kyofu-sama will have to protect the cow from her****."**

Hera scowled at her stepdaughter and Thalia smirked. She would eat that cow.

**"Kurama-Ojisan is so cool though!" Bolt said, missing her joke. "He's teaching me something that even Joan doesn't know!"**

**"Really? Well don't tell me anymore or I'll have to tell her. The girl-code is strong you know," Reiko said. She waved him over. "Want to come sneak a peek at the final book?"**

**"You got a copy!?" Bolt was shocked. His dad only let his mom or the publisher look at the drafts. He was at her side before he registered the fact that he was in motion. "What's the title?"**

**"****_Percy Jackson and The Last Olympian_****," Reiko said. **

"What?" Percy blinked. Hestia looked interested at that.

**"It's not finished, but it's a good first chapter."**

**"Ew...it starts with Uncle Percy on a date," Bolt said with a frown once he got through the first paragraph.**

"With Rachel..." Percy chuckled nervously when Annabeth pursed her lips and glared at him.

**"But it's not with Annabeth," Reiko said. She had a grin on her face.**

Annabeth scowled.

**"So? It's gross. I don't want to read about Uncle Percy kissing a girl," Bolt said. He hopped down and walked away. "I'm going to find ****_The Titan's Curse_****. That one's my favorite!"**

"So Naruto basically wrote about your adventures," Hazel said as Percy's jaw unhinged.

"And here I thought I stole ideas." Hermes whistled and soon grinned. "I love that kid."

**"That's because your mom is in it." Reiko rolled her eyes.**

Thalia perked up slightly when she heard that.

**"It's the most interesting one!" Bolt denied with a light flush. "Artemis and Grandpa are in it." **

Apollo beamed. "Aw...Hear that Arte? He loves us!"

Artemis hummed in mild interest.

**He walked through the aisles before he grabbed the book in question and pulled it off the shelf. "And Aunt Bianca let Dad kill her off in the book."**

"Whoo." Nico cheered dryly. Great to hear that.

**"Always the most interesting choice," Reiko said. She flipped through the pages in front of her and then looked up. "Did your dad ever tell you why he never wrote himself in the books?"**

Apollo pouted. "Lamesauce."

**"Because he's cooler than Uncle Percy and would outshine him?" **

Percy scowled.

"Truth!"

"Apollo!"

**Bolt asked while he flipped through the book to the last chapter he was on at home. He walked back to the front of the store and sat down behind the counter.**

**Reiko smirked and whapped him on the head. "No, you little idolizer. Kyofu left himself out because he thinks that the camps could've done it without him."**

"Damn right." Percy crossed his arms.

**Bolt rolled his eyes. "Yeah right. And then you'll say Uncle Nico wouldn't have become the head of Camp Olympia. He's so angst-y in these books."**

"I am not!" Nico scowled, getting odd looks. "…Shut up!"

"What is Camp Olympia?" Reyna asked, never hearing of it.

"No idea." Hermes said, he knew the gossip around the Nectar cooler.

**"I think it's cute," Reiko said. "Though I wonder how Miss Hazel will come out from the Underworld. Or how Mr. Grace met Mrs. Grace!"**

"We know." Jason, Piper, and Hazel said as one.

**Bolt gagged. "You sound like Aiko Inuzuka. She's always spouting off things that make me think she's a daughter of Aphrodite."**

**"Maybe she is." Reiko grinned. "Inuzuka-san is a good-looking guy."**

"That dog boy?" Aphrodite gagged until an image popped, "Oh…I take that back. He got sexy." She leered at the picture until it disappeared, then she made a small noise of disappointment.

**"For a washed up mutt, maybe," Bolt said under his breath. Reiko swatted his head and he chuckled. "That's what dad called him!"**

**"Humph, your father and Inuzuka-san have been butting heads for as long as I've known them." Reiko hummed and turned another page. "Is your hand healed?"**

**Bolt looked at his hand and saw that only a faint red mark remained. "Yeah, it is."**

"**I'll put the book away for you."**

**"Thanks neechan." Bolt shrugged. He closed the book and got to his feet. "See you around, neechan. Tell me when the next book comes out, okay?"**

"Pre-order!" Percy grinned, "I'm awesome."

"Only with me," Annabeth smirked.

"Duh." He kissed her cheek.

**"Will do," Reiko said.**

**Bolt left the bookstore with his hands in his pockets and his head hung. His mother was going to kill him for getting three weeks' worth of detention. Not to mention his father's disappointment. He thought for sure that he wasn't going to get blamed for his prank...then again, the shock tags were probably his motif by now.**

"It runs in the family." Poseidon sniggered along with Hades. Zeus flared his nostrils, glaring at them.

**Bolt grunted as he ran into something and fell to his butt. "Hey, watch where you're going!"**

**"Idiot, you're the one that needs to watch where you're going." Bolt looked up into the unique eyes of his older sister.**

"Oh snap! Run boy, run!" Hermes urged the poor boy.

**"Oh, hey Joan," he said. He wasn't sure if she was still mad.**

**"Hey yourself dork," Joan said. Well, she wasn't too mad. She offered him her hand and pulled him to his feet. "Where've you been?"**

**"Nowhere," Bolt said, looking off to the side.**

**Joan chuckled. "You suck at lying."**

"It's in the blood." Apollo surged haplessly.

**"So do you!" Bolt gave her an accusing look. "I'll bet you were flirting with that Nara guy again!"**

"What?" Thalia frowned, eyes narrowed.

**Joan rolled her eyes. "I wasn't flirting with Miroku!"**

Aphrodite was tittering.

**"I never said it was Miroku," Bolt said. He was pulled into another headlock.**

**"What are you going to do, tell on me?" Joan asked.**

"Yes, tell the truth." Thalia nodded. You're supposed too!

**"Maybe," Bolt said, grunting as Joan tightened her grip.**

**"If you tell Dad, I swear to the gods they won't find your body for seven days." **

"And that's the lucky number." Apollo winked.

**Joan started to take them off of the ground. She grabbed the back of Bolt's shirt and pulled him up so he could wrap his arms around her neck. "You're lucky that it's almost dinner time or I would hang you by Dad's nose."**

"Ha! Now that's a new one!" Ares grinned, a real good one to be honest. Now, what shmuck should he do it to?

**Bolt shuddered, recalling the last poor bastard that Joan had done such a thing to. It was in retaliation for touching her butt. **

"What?!" Thalia snapped. Jason frowned at hearing that.

**She got grounded for three months, but neither of their parents really enforced the punishment. ****In fact, their mother seemed to be extremely proud and he was sure there was a picture of it in his father's study.**

"Damn right!"

"Really getting into it, huh?"

"Shut it, McLean!"

**The day after, there was a silver pamphlet in the mail and their parents had a small argument. **

Artemis looked innocent as Apollo glared at her.

"I can imagine how that one went." Hermes chuckled and cleared his throat. "Naruto would be like: 'My little girl doesn't need any man in her life!' and Thalia would be like 'No way Nightshade is going to recruit my daughter of all things!'"

"Humph, I can see where Naruto comes from," Zeus said. He preferred his daughters keeping to their oaths, even if Athena found a way around it.

**It was over by the next day and no one brought up the pamphlet again.**

**They made it back to the small apartment complex that was remodeled into their home. Their mother opened the door and let Joan go in to wash up, waiting at the door expectantly for Bolt's explanation. He just handed her the piece of paper he had gotten earlier.**

"Fifty lashes! And _no_ candy!"

"Ares!" Hestia looked horrified.

The war god just laughed.

**Thalia read the note silently, and then shook her head. "Grounded for the next two weekends. Go get ready for dinner and then you can tell your father about your ****_brilliant_**** class disruption."**

"Busted." The demigods winced in sympathy.

**"Yes Mom," Bolt said, going inside.**

**Dinner was a nice affair. They were treated with their father's special hamburgers made from Apollo's red cattle (with permission), something Bolt greatly enjoyed, but Joan was a bit miffed they didn't have ramen. **

"Ha, it's reversed." Percy chuckled.

"Naruto's princess, indeed," Hazel said with a smile.

Thalia was both happy and miffed about that.

**It was a simple family dinner, the four of them talking about their day. Bolt wisely kept out his training with Kurama and his reading, but did mention he visited Reiko after school. ****His mother talked about a conversation she had with her cousin about next summer's visit.**** His father complained about an annoying councilman trying to convince him to export Ichiraku as a worldwide dish. **

"Never!" Hazel declared with her finger in the air.

**Joan talked about getting a tricky collaboration jutsu down with her team, saying they'd show it off once it was perfected.**

**When dinner ended, Joan was roped into doing dishes and Bolt went into his father's study to tell him about his day. After he finished telling his dad about his prank, he let out a sigh of relief when his dad started to laugh.**

Hermes smirked while Apollo glared at him. The little cattle-thief got lucky!

**"Tags on the chairs," Naruto said with a chuckle. He wiped a tear away from his eye. "That's brilliant, Bolt. Your fuinjutsu is getting better. Uncle Herm and Dad would be proud."**

"We are!" the two male gods in question said with smiles.

**"You think so?" Bolt asked.**

**Naruto nodded. "Yes. I have to agree with your mother, though. The next two weekends are ours. You don't get to play Valdez' video games, **

"You fiend!" Leo exclaimed angrily. "Wait? I make games? I rule!" He threw he hands in the air. "Go Leo! Go Leo! Go Leo!"

**curfew bedtime-"**

**"Aww..."**

**"And...you'll have to accompany me tomorrow to Camp Olympia."**

"There's that camp again." Reyna pursed her lips.

"I wonder what it is." Hera hummed.

**Bolt perked up. "For real!?"**

**Naruto smiled lightly. "Your sister was your age when I first took her, it's only fair. Plus, Annie would love to see her 'cute little nephew' again."**

"I would." Annabeth beamed at Thalia, getting a glare in return.

**Bolt groaned. "I hope she doesn't try to teach me Latin again."**

**"I'll protect you from the evils of learning," Naruto said. He ruffled his son's hair. "Nico will be happy to see you. He misses his little buddy."**

"Little buddy, huh?" Percy grinned and got a smirk from Nico.

"Shut it Uncle Percy, I bet he likes me more."

"Yeah right."

**"I hope so," Bolt said. He yawned and stretched. "Uncle Nico's cool..."**

"See? He does. Uncle Nico is way cooler." Nico smirked, liking the little guy.

Percy pouted.

**Naruto arched a brow. "Someone seems tired for not having that eventful of a day."**

**"Weird," Bolt said. He forced back another yawn, but it still escaped his lips. His eyes drooped slightly. He blanked out for a second and soon found himself being carried by his dad. Bolt yawned again. "Dad?"**

**"Yeah, Bolt?"**

**"Can you read me something?" Bolt asked.**

"Story time~!" Apollo smiled.

**Naruto cracked a smile. "Sure. What do you want to read?"**

**" ****_...The Lightning Thief..._****"**

"So likes me more." Percy assured, making Nico snort.

**"If that's what you want."**

**Bolt was laid in bed and tried his hardest to keep his eyes open while his dad left the room. A beat passed and his dad walked back in, the book in hand. Bolt scooted over and let his dad take a seat next to him. Naruto opened the book and held it down so they both could look at the Ancient Greek alphabet that resided within.**

**"****_Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood. If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life. _**

"Too late." The half-bloods said as one.

**_Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways. If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened. _**

"I really do." Percy nodded.

**_But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside –stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you._****"**

"From the shadows~" Nico said with wiggly fingers…of doom!

**Bolt's eyes started to drift shut again. The last thing he heard before sleep overtook him was his father's voice. "****_Don't say I didn't warn you. My name is Percy Jackson._****"**

"Hi me." Percy waved with a stupid grin.

"Wow, you just like to monologue, huh?" Thalia asked.

"Shut up." The son of Poseidon scowled.

"I like his voice," Annabeth smiled, making her boyfriend perk up.

**Blue eyes snapped open and were immediately shielded from the sun's proud beam. Three whisker marked cheeks contorted into a pained grimace. **

"Wait, what?" Apollo frowned.

**The blond owner of the cheeks and eyes grabbed at his hand, which felt like it was on fire. He pushed the remnants of his dream to the back of his mind and focused on the pain in his hand. **

"A dream?" Thalia said, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding, "So, only a dream. Okay."

"Hm, only a dream." Reyna said, looking interested now.

"Aw," Jason said. He frowned. "I'm not an uncle anymore."

"JASON!"

**The dream would be forgotten for a long while, **

"No!" Aphrodite cried out. She scowled. "Nalia is going perfectly!"

"Aphrodite, cease your whining," Artemis said.

**accessible to only one other who found the whole thing extremely amusing.**

**"Well wasn't that nice of Phoebe?" Helios asked himself as he watched the dream play through fully through his connection to Naruto's subconscious. **

"Helios always did love a good show." Hephaestus said.

**"Good to know there's a happy ending to all of this. Bolt huh? I wonder what story he will have."**

"So it was just a dream?" Nico asked.

"A prophetic dream," Apollo corrected.

Reyna frowned, but she knew that the future wasn't set in stone either.

* * *

><p><strong>There you go kids, chapter one or prelude of the final installment of Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian reading.<br>**

**remember to review about your fav parts!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own ****_Naruto_**** or ****_Percy Jackson and the Olympians_****.**

**Reading: Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian III: The Argonauts**

**I**

Thalia began to begrudgingly read.

**"**_**Booty, booty, this store sells booty (butt cheeks). Booty, booty, this store sells booty (make that ass clap)!**_**" blared from the radio of a burnt orange Challenger parked outside of a Wendy's. **

Thalia turned red that she even had to read that as Artemis' eye began to twitch.

"I lov-hate!" Apollo said at the demonic glare from his twin, "I just hate that song. Totally hate."

"Thought so."

**From the driver's window hung a sandal-clad foot that moved to the hip-hop beat. The owner of the foot and car had a fry hanging out of his mouth. A navy blue cap with a big red B plastered on it covered his blond hair, purchased just to irritate his father and pseudo little sister. **

"Boston!" Annabeth gasped, that traitor!

"Boo! LA Angels!" Apollo cried out.

**He clapped along with the song when it asked him to and chuckled at the line that would most certainly piss his aunt off: "**_**You could improve your personality, but who the hell wants that? When you can find your self-esteem in the form of a brand new ass.**_**"**

"…Must. Kill." Artemis seethed at the very offense of this song!

**The driver's right hand reached over and grabbed the vanilla shake in the cup holder. After he took a sip, the driver sang along to the lyrics of the song by Ray William Johnson. **

"Thalia, make a note."

"Yes, Lady Artemis."

**He chuckled and applauded once the song ended. He switched the radio back to a punk rock station, Green Day blared from the speakers. **

"Finally, something with taste." Thalia grumbled as Apollo rolled his eyes.

**He grabbed another fry and glanced at the mirror.**

**"Bout time," he said as the passenger side door opened and a middle-aged man sidled in. He was wearing a black fedora, dark aviators, a white wife-beater and jeans.**

"Is that…" Percy narrowed his eyes as Thalia was glowing.

"Oh yeah!"

**"Hey, man, it ain't easy to move around unnoticed for me." The newcomer said. He took a fry from the pouch, getting a glare from the younger blond. "I'm a celebrity, you know."**

"Who is he?" Leo whispered to Piper, who shrugged.

**"Yeah, the devil that everyone knows with a fedora and sunglasses," the younger man said. "I've been meaning to ask, what's with the country-rock thing lately? I like it, just curious, you know?"**

**"I've always been about music that my soul feels, man. When I was your age, I was angry and energetic. Now, I'm a bit mellowed out. Still like to party though."**

Apollo nodded, "I know, I was all angst at their age."

"You still are." Hermes smirked. He got a mild glare for that one.

**"Right, right. Well, two things I need to ask."**

**"Go ahead," the fedora man said. He reached for the shake, but his hand got slapped. He held his hand. "Fuck, man, I'm just thirsty."**

**"Look, you may be my great-whatever nephew, but you're not drinking my shake, okay?"**

"So he's a legacy of Apollo?" Frank asked, getting a beaming smile from the sun god.

"Oh yeah."

**"Stingy."**

**"Suck it up," the younger man said. "Anyway, the first thing I want to ask is if you got a hold of the others?"**

**"Yeah. Here's a list of people who said they'll keep an eye out," the man said. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded up piece of paper. "I'll keep my ear to the ground, too. I've got some people."**

"Ooh, covert stuff." Ares grinned, it wasn't a big battlefield thing, but it was still messy.

And Ares liked it messy.

**"Right, well, you know the rules about electronics."**

**"Yeah, yeah. I can see them, but I've learned to ignore them."**

**"Entirely?"**

**"No, I'm not that stupid."**

"Hm." Artemis hummed, getting a glare from her twin.

**"Cool. And as for my second question, can you sign this?" A CD was held up along with a marker. "Girlfriend's birthday is coming up soon. She's not a huge fan, but she appreciates your older stuff."**

"Damn right." Thalia nodded.

**"Alternative girl, huh?"**

**"Punk."**

**"Not bad. **

The hunter was beaming.

**Yeah, here." The man signed the cover and then popped the case open; the disk got a signature as well. "Anything else you need, Naruto?"**

**"Nah. Thanks for your time, Mr. Ritchie," Naruto said as he tucked the CD away into the compartment next to him. **

"…Who?" Jason scratched the back of his head.

"Kid Rock." Thalia glowered. Was her brother really that incompetent? She'd have to get him an i-pod.

**Mr. Ritchie got out of the car and tipped his hat before walking over to a black Harley parked nearby.**

**"**_**I still can't believe you know him."**_

**Naruto smirked. "It's all about connections, Helios."**

"My branch is very long." Apollo said, smirking at his innuendo.

"It could use a snipping." Demeter commented, getting the sun god to pale. The other gods snickered.

**"**_**Speaking of, while it's nice to be out of the cold Long Island, why are we in California and **_**not**_** going to the Other Camp?"**_

"That'd be nice to know." Reyna said from what she had heard about this version of Naruto.

Thalia grunted, not liking the topic.

**"Because **_**I**_** have no purpose to drop in on Jason or Reyna while they prepare for their parts in the war," Naruto said. He pulled his foot in and changed the station to something playing Daft Punk's 'Superheroes'. **

Thalia bobbed her head to that.

**He nodded his head to the beat while he turned Soul on and revved the engine. He drove over to the nearest trashcan and ditched his garbage, the last fry hung from his mouth as he did.**

**Naruto pulled out of the Wendy's and drove south with a small frown on his face. "Are you ready for this?"**

**"**_**A chance to beat his smug ass into the ground again? Shit, any god could tell you he's ready for this,"**_** Helios said.**

"Oh oh, our fight?" Ares grinned darkly, "Finally!" he cheered.

"You are going to lose. So badly." Athena smirked.

"Bah, you wish!"

**Naruto nodded and moved his hand to the gearshift. He winced as he did. His hand felt like it was being ripped apart from the inside out. It was Ares' message: time to fight. **

"Ding ding." Hermes said while ringing a bell.

**That was part of the reason why he headed over to California, he needed to make sure his intelligence was still strong and his connections were holding up in case Ares won.**

Ares grinned at that while Apollo glared at him.

**The other part was to get away from Camp for a bit. He and Percy were butting heads more often than he would like. **

Percy frowned at that.

**Percy didn't like half of the missions Naruto would develop and would often question the reasons behind them. **

"He's not very good at listen." Thalia frowned as Percy huffed.

"You just have to know the right words." Annabeth smirked, getting a dull glare from Percy.

"Ha-ha."

**Annabeth would eventually get involved and Naruto's missions would be shunted aside once she heard he was designing potentially fatal ones, considered by the leading strategist to be **_**too**_** dangerous for campers. **

Athena frowned at that as Annabeth winced, "It is. We would need all our forces for the coming battle."

"But subterfuge is still important, Annabeth." The war goddess told her, making her daughter frown.

**This was **_**after**_** the gods, via Mr. D., signed off on his request to lead missions into enemy territory with potential to not return. Did the kids care? No.**

_**They're too young to understand,**_** Naruto thought. He frowned and pushed down on the pedal. **_**Stupid brat. Making my job difficult.**_

_"I do my best." Percy mocked with crossed arms. _

**"**_**And now you know how Zeus feels when he has to meet with his brother."**_

_Zeus and Poseidon grunted as one, both refusing to look at each other on that topic. _

**"Wonderful."**

**The 'brat' in question was standing outside a flower boutique with Thalia and Bianca.**

"Why are we together?" Percy blinked.

**"So...You two got the same letter, right?" Percy asked.**

**"'Come to Phony's Pottery Place. An important quest awaits you,'" Thalia said, reading the small note in her hand. She let static cover her hand and crackled the paper into a ball. "If this was Whisker's idea of a joke, it's not funny."**

"Phony Pottery Palace? What a terrible name." Demeter huffed.

**"Naruto didn't send this," Bianca said softly. She was very introverted after she recovered from her case of bubonic plague, speaking only to her brother, boyfriend **

Nico grunted at that.

**and guardian when necessary. Bianca still trained, but Percy could tell her self-esteem was very low. **

Nico and Hades frowned at that.

**"It's not his handwriting. And this place..."**

**"Yeah, might as well go inside," Percy said. He tossed the note over his shoulder and went up to the door. **

"Litter bug." Demeter frowned.

"It _is _New York City." Poseidon commented, "Don't get me started on the rivers."

Percy shivered in memory.

**He put his hand on the handle and opened the door. Thalia and Bianca followed him inside. Percy looked around at all the various potted plants that surrounded them. "Well...it's not a Phony place."**

**Thalia rolled her eyes at the lame joke. "Thank you for that observation, Percy."**

"Just trying to lighten the mood." The son of the sea pouted as Thalia rolled her eyes at his dramatics.

**Percy ignored her sarcasm. He went over to a small shrub of pomegranates and touched one of the fruits. "Fresh. Someone just watered them."**

"Oh yes, she has a place like that." Hades remembered as Demeter ruffled. Why had her daughter picked such a poor name for a business!

**Bianca turned from where she was and her eyes widened. "We need to leave!"**

"And just like in every movie, it's too late." Piper shook her head.

**Percy started to ask her why, but his question was cut off as the floor beneath him opened up. It happened beneath Bianca and Thalia's feet as well and the three plummeted into darkness. They fell for a good five minutes before six glowing chains shot out from the shadowy ground and wrapped around their midsections. Their descent slowed until they landed on solid ground. They dropped to their knees, trying hard to recover their breath. When they finally did regain their breath, the three got back to their feet and warily looked around.**

**"Bianca-chan! Thalia-chan!" The excitable redheaded mother of one Naruto Uzumaki pulled the two girls into a tight hug.**

"Hot ninja waifu!"

**"Kushina!" Bianca happily hugged her teacher back while Thalia struggled to escape the hug.**

"A little tighter." Hera muttered.

**Kushina smiled at her and looked at Percy. "Hey Percy. Sally gave you the letter I see."**

"Oh, right, she knows mom." Percy nodded in remembrance.

**"If you're quite done, Kushina, we have things to discuss." A woman walked into the dim light. Percy's breath was taken away at her appearance. She was tall and beautiful with curly black hair that flowed down past her shoulders. Her skin was pale and her eyes were multicolored, similar to that daughter of Aphrodite that hung out with Thalia, only a bit faded.**

Piper flushed at the complement as Demeter and Hades scoffed at the comparison.

**Kushina pouted and let the girls go. "Yes, Lady Persephone."**

**"Thank you," Thalia said to the goddess while she rubbed her side. Bianca shied away from Persephone and stayed close to Kushina. **

"Smart," Nico muttered.

**Thalia crossed her arms over her chest. "Could someone tell us what the hell is going on?"**

**Persephone pursed her lips. "Despite your manners, or lack thereof, I intend to do just that. Percy Jackson, several years ago you recovered Zeus' Master Bolt from a thief. I request you retrieve another symbol of power. My husband's sword has been stolen."**

Hades palmed his face as Zeus and Poseidon gave him a look, "It was her idea, I'm innocent here. We already talked about this."

**Bianca frowned. "But, isn't his symbol of power his helmet?"**

"Ah, the Boo Cap." Poseidon said, getting snickers all around.

Hades seethed at that.

**"That's what I thought," Percy said.**

**Kushina released a snicker and Persephone glared at her, her pale cheeks coloring slightly. "Be silent, Kushina."**

**"Yes, Lady Persephone," Kushina said. The smile was still on her face.**

"She's good for her," Demeter smiled, it was wonderful to see her daughter have a little friend.

**Persephone looked back at the demigods. "Despite this being true, his sword is stronger than his helmet. Hades' sword was made with one of the Keys of Hades."**

Hazel looked stunned at that, having heard of those from Nico.

**"And that is?" Thalia asked.**

**"Each key has the ability to send souls to the Underworld. It can also free them," Bianca said**

**"The sword was made with one, so Lord Hades does not even need to finish his opponent off, he simply has to touch them with his blade," Persephone said.**

"Whoa." The demigods said besides Percy, Nico, and Thalia.

**"That's bad?" Percy asked. That kind of weapon could be useful for their side.**

"Other side of the coin, Seaweed Brain." Annabeth told him, getting a pout from the boy.

**"Yes, idiot, that's bad," Thalia said. Percy glared at her for the insult and she glared back. "We're fighting against Titans, if they can bring back anyone we kill can you imagine how long, or how short, this war would be? Not to mention how freaking OP that is. **

"Very OP." Hades nodded.

**Poseidon's trident can't will things to and from the ocean and while Zeus can fry someone within three hundred meters of his target, he can't banish people to space. **

"In space…they can't hear you scream." Leo snickered, getting a few laughs.

"Boo." Ares jeered, the screaming was the best part!

**The sword unbalances the power between the Big Three."**

**"Okay, so it's bad," Percy said, brooding over his defeat. He looked back at the Queen of the Underworld and frowned slightly. "But why us?"**

**"Children of Zeus, Poseidon and Hades are amongst the strongest demigods to be born," Persephone said, a bit of a frown on her face at the mention of her husband's infidelity. Bianca ducked back behind Kushina **

"Very smart." Nico nodded.

**while the red-haired woman snorted in disagreement.**

**"Naruto could wipe the floor with some of their children," Kushina said. **

The Big Three and their children grunted ad grumbled at that.

**Thalia and Percy sent her annoyed looks while she shrugged their gazes off. Her baby was badass just like his momma!**

"You got that right, sexy waifu!"

"What does that even mean?" Artemis.

"It's Weeaboo for wife." Hera answered with a straight face.

**"Yes, and while I would normally turn to him as he is under my Husband's command, he is otherwise preoccupied," Persephone said.**

**"With what?" Thalia asked.**

**"Olympian duties," Persephone said before Kushina could open her mouth. **

"Liar!" Apollo cried foul.

**Thalia narrowed her eyes in disbelief but Persephone ignored it. "You must find the thief and stop him before he escapes. Hades has closed the realm until the sword is returned, **

"No, she did." Hades grumbled.

**but you must hurry, I fear what happens if the sword falls into the enemy's hands."**

**"But this is the Underworld," Percy said. "Surely the thief can't escape."**

**"Percy, you do remember that **_**you**_** escaped with your father's aid?" Kushina asked.**

**Percy had the decency to blush. He had overlooked that.**

"You tend to do that at times," Nico told him, getting a glare from the son of the sea.

**"How will we know if he escapes?" Bianca asked. Persephone looked at her stepdaughter, a flash of annoyance danced across her eyes before it vanished, and she held her hand out. Before the demigods' eyes, a carnation appeared in her hand, bright red and seemingly glowing in the darkness. She offered it to Bianca, who took it hesitantly and carefully.**

"Don't know if it's cursed." Nico snorted and Demeter looked at him in annoyance.

**"This carnation will always face the thief and lose petals as time elapses. When the last petal falls, the thief will have escaped. Good luck, demigods." Persephone vanished in a swirl of shadows and left the lingering scent of pomegranate juice behind.**

"She's brief." Hazel muttered.

**Kushina smiled and patted Bianca on the shoulder. "Keep to your training. Search out the Hermit. He will help you. Despite his faults, he's the best spy in Lord Hades' forces. **

"I have ninja spies." Hades smiled wickedly.

**Nothing happens in the Underworld without him knowing about it."**

**"Who's the Hermit?" Percy asked.**

**Kushina shook her head. "A very old, and I use the term lightly, friend. He is eccentric, but he is a good man. Be careful Percy. Watch out for Bianca-chan, she's still so young. **

"I think she just enjoys babying us." Nico grumbled, but still smiled a bit.

"I hope I get in there soon." Hazel said in a hopeful tone. Frank frowned at that, he had yet to appear either and he was worried that Hazel might stay dead.

**And you be careful too, Thalia-chan. I still want grandbabies, dattebane."**

"ARGH!" Thalia growled that she had to read that as everyone laughed at her.

**"Would you get lost?!" Thalia asked, her face red.**

**Kushina laughed and vanished in a cloud of smoke.**

**"...What was that about?" Percy asked.**

**Thalia glared at him so hard Percy worried she might actually shoot lightning out of her eyes. **

"Really wish I could." The hunter grunted.

**"None of your damn business, that's what."**

**"The Hermit, where would the Hermit be?" Bianca asked softly.**

**"Who knows? Let's just start walking before I lose my cool," Thalia said.**

"Too late~" Percy and Nico sang out as Thalia gripped the book tighter.

**Bianca nodded and led the way after she drew her sword from her back. It was made of Stygian Iron, much like Nico's katana, but was shorter by at least a foot. Bianca led them through a small passageway that was lighter than their surroundings, slicing a few souls that were trying to latch onto them.**

"So clingy." Nico shook his head.

**A half-hour passed and the group had made their way out of the cavern into the Fields of Asphodel. Bianca had her work cut out for her and handed the flower to a very unenthusiastic Percy. Thalia got a kick out of it, though.**

"Little flower boy Jackson," Ares snickered as Percy glared heatedly at him.

**"So do you know anything about the Hermit?" Percy asked Bianca.**

**"I've heard my father mention him once or twice," Bianca said. She sliced down a ghastly woman that reached out for her. "Persephone doesn't like him and neither does Kushina, but Kushina has told me he's a good man before."**

**"It sounded like she was trying to reassure herself more than us," Thalia said. "I think it was someone Whiskers knew."**

"Naruto is such a man-whore. Knowing everyone." Percy rolled his eyes.

"Like his father." Artemis smirked in agreement.

"Hey!"

**Percy rolled his eyes. "Of course he was."**

**Thalia frowned at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"**

**"Nothing," Percy said with a grunt. **

"Someone's still jealous." Thalia smirked at Percy, making him scowl at her.

"Oh go make out with your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend!"

**They continued through the fields silently, the conversation dead as the people around them.**

**There was a loud 'BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!' in the distance, and that was followed by a loud exclamation of "DAMMIT! I ALMOST HAD THE FUCKING THING! ONE MORE TIME, NEXT TIME I'LL GET IT FOR SURE!"**

"Hehehe." Hades chuckled darkly.

**"Where's a swear jar when you need one?" Percy asked as the loud swearing continued. "I think I could make five hundred dollars easy."**

**"That's not who I think it is, is it?" Thalia asked, trying not to laugh.**

**"Yep," Bianca said. They walked towards the swearing and soon another set of booms were heard and felt. Bianca led them around a bend and they found an ugly troll of a man that pushed his shoulder against a boulder. Bianca frowned. "Sisyphus. The man who tried to cheat death and lost."**

"Good old Sissy." Nico smirked fondly.

"Still could've moved that boulder." Thalia grumbled.

**"We should question him before he gets halfway up the hill," Thalia said. Percy and Bianca nodded in agreement. They ran over to Sisyphus just as he pressed his hands against the boulder.**

**Sisyphus must've seen them because he wigged out and started running around the boulder. "Ah! Furies! I'm pushing the rock, you can't punish me!"**

"Scared shitless." Ares chuckled, ah, that was always good to see.

**"We're not the Furies," Percy said. He, Thalia and Bianca chased him around the boulder.**

The Scooby Doo chase music started playing as Apollo whistled innocently.

**"Ha! I highly doubt that!" Sisyphus said. They ran around the boulder for a few moments before Thalia snapped.**

**"Screw this! Aegis!" she said. Thalia raised her arm and her replica of Aegis unfolded out from around her wrist. Sisyphus ran right into it and fell to his back, scrambling away.**

"Always good to use." Athena smiled fondly at Zeus' (her) shield.

**"Ah! Fiend! I do my task! I have yet to stop! I just need, uh, rest! Rest!" he pleaded.**

**"Then rest," Bianca said. Sisyphus' eyes trailed to her blade and he swallowed audibly.**

**"Where does a fiend like you get a blade like **_**that**_**?" Sisyphus asked.**

"The Underworld gift shop." Nico chirped.

Percy knitted his brow, "I always miss that place."

**"From my father, Hades," Bianca said. Sisyphus narrowed his eyes at her and then reached out to kick Thalia in the shin.**

"He what?" the hunter snapped as Percy and Nico snickered.

**"Ow! What the hell, asshole!?"**

**"Not Furies," Sisyphus said. He climbed to his feet and looked around anxiously. "Demigods then. All right, I will rest. Hey, would you three like something to eat? Just watch my boulder for me and I'll grab something."**

"He always was the smooth talker." Hermes inclined his head to the dead man.

"Don't get me started." Hades grunted with irritation.

**"Don't listen to anything he says that's not related to escaping the Underworld," Bianca said as she sheathed her blade.**

**"Escaping the Underworld? You three are looking for a way out, too? Well, I'll cut you a deal. Someone pushes my boulder and I'll show you where to go," Sisyphus said. "Be a lot nicer than having a sword at my throat."**

**"A sword?" Thalia asked.**

**"Yeah, another demigod. He was anxious to leave, too," Sisyphus said. **

"Ethan." Percy frowned, a sad look in his eyes.

**"He had like a giftwrapped shovel or something. **

"The Undertaker Shovel of Doom." Poseidon mock gasped.

Hades looked at him dryly, "Humorous."

"I try."

**I don't know, I was too worried about the sword."**

**"So we're looking for a demigod," Percy said. "Do you know what he looks like?"**

**"Ha! You won't get that information for free," Sisyphus said, rubbing his hands together. "Come on, make a deal. I'll tell you whatever you want."**

"Deal…or no deal."

**Before any of them could agree, there was the sound of gurgling and the ground split open beneath Sisyphus' feet. He fell into the pit of muddy substance and swore again.**

**"No deals for you, Sissy."**

**"Stop calling me that, you ugly sonovabitch!" Sisyphus craned his neck to glare at the man crouched a good distance behind him.**

"Such language." Hestia frowned.

**"That's just rude." The man huffed and Percy looked over at him. His white hair stood out like a beacon in the darkness, the twin bangs dangled down past his jawline and a noticeable ponytail almost reached the top of his leg. His skin was a dulled tan and trailing down from his eyes to the bottom of his jaw were two red lines.**

"Hm, not ugly." Aphrodite commented idly.

**Around his head was a headband very much like Naruto's, horned and marked with strange kanji on the front. He wore faded olive green shirt and pants that looked like something ninja would wear with a red vest over it. Under his green shirt was a strange mesh and some sort of armor protected his arms. The man stood up and walked forward, his strange sandals clacked against the rocks. He looked like he was over six feet tall.**

"Ninja!" Leo cried out.

"So I'm guessing that's the Hermit." Nico figured.

**The man grinned once he towered over them and Sisyphus. A large hand clapped onto the old prisoner's shoulder and the man chortled. "Ah, Sissy, you should really learn to respect your betters. Trying to scheme your way out of another punishment was only going to increase your service."**

"Honestly, it does. You'd think he'd wise up after all these years." Hades stated.

**Sisyphus said something in another language, Latin probably, that had the man laughing loudly. The man rubbed at his eye and sighed.**

**"That's a good one," he said. "Let me tell you one of mine."**

**His left hand opened and a familiar blue spiraling ball of energy formed in his hand. **

"Ooh, that's looking to be painful." Ares grinned.

**The man drove the attack into Sisyphus' gut, making the prisoner double over. His feet were still trapped in the mud, it kept him from flying off. Sisyphus fell back into the mud pit and the old man glared at him.**

**"Back to work, Sissy. You've got another eternity to get that boulder to the top of the hill," he said. Sisyphus was freed from the mud and he immediately got started on his punishment. The man smirked and turned back to the kids, his eyes leered over Thalia. "Why hello there..."**

"Oh that old fucker." Thalia seethed, Jason glaring along with her father.

**Thalia held up a crackling fist. "Try me."**

**"Kinky," he said. **

"He's got a mouth." Aphrodite giggled, liking him.

**Percy's jaw dropped, Bianca turned so red she was glowing and Thalia erupted in a shower of static. **

"Typical." Hades rolled his eyes at his niece's reactions.

**She took a swing at him and the man jumped back, clearing ten feet with ease. He held his hands up in surrender and laughed. "So you're the three that Lady Persephone chose, huh? Not a bad pick. We've got the hot tempered hottie."**

"What?!"

**"Call me that again and see what happens," Thalia said.**

**"The idiot powerhouse." He pointed at Percy.**

Percy glowered.

**"Hey! I'm not an idiot!" Percy scowled at the man.**

**"How'd you wind up holding the flower then?"**

"Ninja schooled…again." Leo whispered to Percy, getting a punch to the shoulder.

**Percy had no response for that.**

"It's a miracle." Ares snickered.

**"Plus, I heard your argument earlier," the man said. He looked at Bianca and nodded. "Then you're the insecure prodigy. **

"Insecure…" Nico scowled at the words, his sister was not insecure! She was withdrawn.

**Bet you're real good at handling swords, huh?"**

"He did _not_ just say that?" Hades growled, Nico's hands were twitching.

Artemis narrowed her eyes at that.

**Bianca didn't miss the innuendo and flushed even more red. Thalia and Percy glared at him, both still irritated at him. Thalia decided enough was enough.**

"Skewer the fucker." Thalia hissed.

**"So who the hell are you, huh?" Thalia asked.**

**"I'm **_**so**_** glad you asked!" the man then began to do a series of strange dance maneuvers. **

Apollo clapped.

**"From the mountain of Myouboku, home of the sagely toads. I am the epitome of manliness, **

"Bullshit!" Ares shouted, "I'd like to see his gun collection!"

Athena just shook her head. Idiot.

**women fawned over me for all of my life **

"Well, he is amusing." The love goddess tittered.

**and now I rule the dead ladies with my charm and wit! **

"Ew," Leo made a gross face, "Zombie love."

**I am the Toad Sage: Jiraiya!"**

"…That's my teacher!" Apollo grinned, "Strike that mad pose!"

"It explains so much." Artemis said, "It was Fate you'd meet."

Thalia closed the book, "Take this away from me. Now." She snapped.

"Gladly." Nico said, eager to read about his sister.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry the wait, had stuff to do. Enjoy and review.<br>**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own ****_Naruto_**** or ****_Percy Jackson and the Olympians_****.**

**Reading: Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian III: The Argonauts**

**II**

Nico opened the book and began to read about how his sister would handle the quest for the sword.

**"You're Jiraiya? The Perverted Sage that trained Naruto and his father?" Thalia asked. **

"Nailed it." Apollo grinned.

**Jiraiya crumpled to his knees and a cloud of depressing rain hovered over him. Thalia absently wondered where the cloud came from.**

Eyes turned to Zeus, "Don't look at me." He huffed. Honestly, just because the guy was a pervert they look at him. The nerve!

**"'Perverted Sage'? That brat...He has no respect for his master, it should've been the first thing I taught him..." Jiraiya said while he drew circles in the ground with his finger. With a forlorn sigh, the spymaster got back to his feet and scowled at Thalia. "For your information, I am no mere 'pervert', foolish demigoddess!"**

"Yeah, that's just insulting." Apollo nodded.

**"Really, then what are you?" Percy asked.**

**Jiraiya roared in laughter before he grinned perversely and held his hands up. Thalia immediately made note to keep this guy in eyesight and a good distance from her at all times. He wiggled his fingers in a creepy manor when his laughter died down. "I'm a big one!"**

"Mortal Zeus everybody." Hades said dryly, getting laughs all around from the gods.

Zeus was currently contemplating on zapping Hades.

**"Great, that makes all the difference," Thalia said dryly. Bianca took a step closer to Thalia, a bit afraid of the man before her. **

"I would be too," Hazel frowned, snuggling up to Frank.

**Percy wondered what was wrong with the people from Naruto's homeland.**

"I think they're a riot." Hermes argued.

**"Of course it does! It's not a hobby for me, it's a way of life!" Jiraiya said proudly. He vanished and reappeared with his arm around Percy. "You know what I'm talking about, right?"**

"Sure, yeah." Nico snorted as everyone sniggered in agreement.

Percy turned a bit red, glaring at Nico.

**"Wh-what?"**

**"C'mon, think about it kid. The slender curves, the ample busts, and the firm buttocks...You, my boy, are in the prime of your life! Allow me to show you the way to success!" Jiraiya grinned even wider and scratched his chin. **

"He better not." Annabeth glared. She liked her simple minded Seaweed Brain!

**"Maybe I'll corrupt you faster than I did Naruto. Chip off the old block, that one. It took him **_**two years**_** before he succumbed to my ways, unlike his prude of a father."**

The gods roared with laughter at that as Apollo pursed his lips, "Not a prude." He pouted.

**"Apollo...prudish?" Thalia blinked in disbelief.**

**Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "Like you wouldn't **_**believe**_**! Always tattling on me to Tsunade-hime. And he turned an interesting shade of red or passed out whenever I offered him some advice when he was in his teens."**

"…I want that brother." Artemis pouted, getting a gasp from her twin.

"Lil sis!"

"Silence. Prude Apollo for life!" the huntress declared.

**Thalia didn't seem too sure about that. Apollo was second only to Poseidon and Zeus **

"Why is Poseidon first?" Zeus asked with a frown while Hera glared at him.

Poseidon rolled his eyes. "Whoo-hoo. First place."

**when it came to having half-blood kids **

"Damn right! Ow! That hurt Arte!"

– **though Kushina swore that would change **

"Good luck," Hera scoffed.

– **and having met the god in question, she didn't see him as the prudish type. She noticed even Percy and Bianca were giving the old guy looks of disbelief.**

**"Then again if I had scored a babe like Kushina at his age...No, I'd still probably have written Icha-Icha," Jiraiya said with a nod. He snapped his fingers. "That reminds me, I have to get a new draft to my publisher somehow...I'm calling it Icha-Icha Shinigami. Mm, some of the things I've seen down here...It's so deliciously raunchy."**

"Zombie love, my eyes, my brain!" Leo held his face, "Bleach, I need mind bleach!"

**"Zombie porn?" Percy asked with green cheeks. Thalia blanched along with him. That was an image she'd rather not have in her head.**

"Notice how Bianca gives no reaction." Hermes slyly pointed out, getting a glare from his uncle and cousin. The messenger held up his hands, "Hey hey, I'm just saying!"

**A fist slammed into Percy's head, knocking the son of Poseidon to the ground. **

Nico read the line three more times, a smile on his face as the others snickered.

Percy's eyes twitched rather violently.

**"FOOLISH BOY! Shinigami is a term used by my homeland for death god. Lord Hades and Lady Persephone have a lot of beauties hanging out around here! Like Medea, **

"She's psycho!" Piper argued with a snap, her perfect teeth grinding together.

"Sweetie, that's bad for you." Aphrodite reprimanded.

**or Angelos, now there's a hottie...I heard she's the daughter of my personal hero."**

The gods looked at Zeus, who seemed slightly flattered. But tried, and failed, not to show it.

**Thalia, more aware of her familial ancestry, glowered at the man. "Zeus is your personal hero?"**

**"You know it! Married to one of the most beautiful women in the world **_**and**_** still popping kids out left and right with others?" Jiraiya held his chest with a smile on his face. "Be still my beating heart."**

"I don't like him." Hera frowned deeply.

**"Talk about a weird man-crush." Percy got to his feet and glared at Jiraiya. "Why did you hit me?"**

**"Yeah, he doesn't have a lot of brain cells to spare," Thalia said. She smirked at Percy when he glared at her.**

"You suck." Percy told his cousin.

"Love you too, fish boy." Thalia huffed.

**"Because, foolish fish boy, I am trying to bestow wisdom onto you and you are ignoring me!" Jiraiya glared at Percy, who glared right back. Jiraiya huffed. "Stubborn like the brat. Great, I have my work cut out for me. Again! Well, I just have to find your weakness. So which do you like better? Blondes? Redheads? I'm personally a blonde man, myself."**

"Well, he's not far off." Nico said as Annabeth glared heatedly at the image. He must die!

**"Sir, we don't have time." Bianca pointed at the flower in Percy's hand. Four petals had fallen since they met him. "We need to find the thief."**

"Hermes, your thoughts?" Apollo said with an announcer mike.

Hermes drummed his fingers together with a thoughtful frown, "Hm, most likely trying to find one of the hidden paths. I swear I got a map for that, maybe."

"Hidden paths?" Hades asked.

"Uh, I'll email you." The speedster god said to his uncle.

**Jiraiya looked at her and scratched his head. "Yeah, yeah, I suppose you're right." He pulled out a small piece of paper and gave it to Percy. "Give this to the brat when you next see him. He'll know what to do."**

"Guess we can add junior messenger boy to your titles, Jackson." Ares jeered, getting a glare.

"I'm always looking out for interns, Percy." Hermes winked, "I could hook you up."

"Uh, no thanks. I'm good." The son of Poseidon turned down.

**"I'll burn it before he gets it," Thalia said. Whatever that paper had on it, it can't be good. And Thalia would be damned before that...whatever it is winds up in Naruto's hands.**

"It's the whossamawhatsits!" Piper gasped.

"Shut it, McLean." Thalia glared, but only got a cheek smile in return.

**"As if I haven't heard that threat a thousand times from Tsu-hime," Jiraiya said. He shook his head. "The brat certainly picked that up from me and his father, his taste in attractive hotheaded women."**

"She's a spitfire." Leo nodded and was cuffed by Jason, "Ow!" the Latino held his head.

**Thalia wasn't sure if that was an insult, a compliment, or both. So she just decided to glare at him.**

"Smart choice." Artemis glared at the image as well.

**Jiraiya ignored her and clapped his hands together. "Well, if we're going to find the little prick, let's get going. I've got a hot date tonight..."**

"Brains?" Nico asked with a tilt of his head in a zombie voice.

"Brains." Percy nodded with his own zombie voice.

**"I highly doubt that," Thalia said.**

**"...With my telescope, my notebook and a small spring I found for Persephone's other handmaidens," Jiraiya said. **

"That fiend!" Demeter raved.

Hades frowned at that, fingers curling against his armrests.

**He looked rather proud of his plans.**

**Thalia's eye twitched. "...I'd kill you if you weren't dead already."**

"Bianca can hurt him." Hazel offered.

"I'd rather do it myself." Thalia glared at the white haired man.

**Jiraiya just grinned at her. "I know."**

"Smug bastard." The hunter muttered.

**"**_**I am the toughest fucking ninja, that you've ever se-ee-en!**_**" Naruto sang along with his CD as he drove through South Dakota. "**_**I killed a king, and changed the course of European history! That's all in the past, I am changing fast, I'm switching up my stance...'cause I just wanna...I just wanna...Dance!**_**"**

"Get jiggy with it," Apollo threw his hands in the air.

**Someone blared their horn as they sped through the highway and Naruto shook his head, ignoring them. He turned up one of his recently discovered gems, Ninja Sex Party. **

"It must be very silent then." Aphrodite tittered, getting a few immature sniggers.

**He thanked the gods for letting him discover the beauty of YouTube musicians. The top of his watch list was Ray William Johnson's animated band Your Favorite Martian, with hits like "We Like Them Girls" "Tig Ol' Bitties" "Booty Store" and "8-Bit World". Granted, they weren't going to make him and his aunt any closer, **

"No. No they weren't." Artemis frowned at those titles of actually music. She knew Apollo was involved, somehow.

**but Naruto figured he would probably-maybe grow out of it. On second thought, he was too juvenile sometimes...Oh well. They were riots to listen to.**

**Closely following that was the two-man comedy band Ninja Sex Party. Naruto was enamored with their hits "I Just Wanna Dance" "No Reason Boner" **

"I get that all the time." Ares said, making everyone move a bit away from him.

**and "If We Were Gay". The last one was a riot and Naruto always played it to mess with Leo's head. **

"Dick," Leo pouted.

"You said it, not us." Apollo smirked at him.

Leo scowled at his uncle.

**Unfortunately, it was another band that would probably gain his aunt's ire. Shame, it's all in good fun.**

"Lies!"

"Truth." Apollo corrected with a smirk at his twin, getting a glare from the huntress.

**"**_**We got a bogey on our tail!"**_

"Bogey!" Ares cheered, he loved a good bogey.

_**Really, that's what you decide to go with?**_** Naruto asks his past life.**

**"**_**I figured it would get your attention,"**_** Helios said.**

**Naruto shook his head and looked in the rearview as a massive Harley pulled up next to him, the rider knocked on the window. **

"That's oddly polite of you." Athena commented.

"What? You thought I would punch out his window?" Ares frowned, "You don't mess with another guy's ride." Well, to fuck with 'em, sure. But he liked the kid.

**Naruto rolled it down.**

**"Funny meeting you here," Naruto said over the roar of the wind. "I figured you'd want to meet up at the place."**

**"I got bored," Ares said. "We'll race there. Winner gets to set stipulations for the fight."**

**"You want stipulations?"**

"Yeah, I know, right?" Ares scratched the back of his head.

**Ares' scowl deepened. "The Old Lady found out about our fight."**

Hera glared at her son for the comment as he was pouting. Of course she'd do that for her little Champ. Pheh.

_**Thank you, Hera.**_

"Say no more." Hera smiled beautifully.

**Naruto thought. "Rules of the race?"**

**"Keep it mortal," Ares said.**

Hephaestus let out a bark of laughter, his family joining him.

**"Swear on the Styx you'll do the same or I'll break those rules," Naruto said.**

**Ares smirked. "Alright, I swear on the Styx I'll keep my bike mortal."**

Athena pursed her lips, "Bravo." She admitted.

Ares grinned, "See? I can play smart."

"Don't get a big head, you fool. You'll still probably lose."

**The sky boomed.**

**Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Same."**

**"Then let's go!" Ares revved his engine and shot ahead with a cackle.**

**"**_**This would all be over if you had my chick magnet,"**_** Helios said.**

"It's mine now, Hel, get over it." Apollo rolled his eyes. It was his chick magnet now!

**Naruto rolled his eyes and pressed down on the pedal. **_**Yes, but Dad has it and thus far I don't think he's going to give it up.**_

**"**_**Horrible thought, how many chicks do you think he had in my car?"**_

_Apollo's smile was positively face splitting. _

_**Not something I want to think about.**_

**"**_**I wonder if you're mother's been in it yet?"**_

_"Car sex with waifu? Aww yeah." The sun god grinned, only to get hit by his twin, again! _

_Seriously, he was going to file a restraining order on her soon. _

_**...I am going to pretend you didn't just say that.**_

**"**_**Fair enough."**_

**Naruto let out a rough breath and merged into the next lane. His eyes went wide and he immediately merged back as flaming wreck shot past in the opposite direction.**

"Ares!" Hera frowned as the war god chuckled.

**"I thought he was keeping it mortal!?"**

**"**_**Uh, this is Ares we're talking about. Road rage, car wrecks and utter chaos is his description of morality,"**_** Helios said.**

Ares nodded, "And that's the honest truth." He said sincerely.

**Naruto scowled and went back into the middle lane. "Friggin loopholes..." He reached over and hit the radio. Hard rock blared out of his speakers and Naruto pushed down on the petal. He carefully avoided people under Ares' influence, though it was difficult for they merged without signaling, shouted expletives at either him, themselves or other drivers, and a rare few tried to run him off the road. **

"It's beautiful." Ares wiped a tear from under his sunglasses.

"Dude, you have issues." Hermes said.

"No duh, speedstick."

**Despite these setbacks, Naruto kept his eyes on the back of Ares' leather jacket, specifically on the ugly boar impaled by a spear that was patched onto it. **

"Handmade no doubt." Athena commented on the poor quality.

**Ares looked over his shoulder and then let out a cackle. He flipped Naruto the bird, which made the blond's eye twitch, and then sped off in a wheelie. His bike's exhaust set the road aflame.**

"Born to be wiiild." Ares sang, raising the roof!

"You suck!" Apollo booed.

"Screw you!"

**"'And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword,'" Naruto said under his breath. **

"The one good thing I liked about Revelations…well, okay there was a lot more." Ares rubbed his chin in memory.

**He shifted gears and pushed it up to two-twenty. Sirens were soon heard, but Naruto ignored them. He had to beat Ares, the god would undoubtedly make the stipulation that the victor of the fight would be the first to strike a lethal blow.**

"I would." Ares nodded.

"Because you're afraid of a fair fight." Percy rolled his eyes.

"Wanna run that by me again, Prissy?"

"I'd love to." Percy narrowed his eyes.

"Boys." Hestia said calmly, getting them to back down. For now.

**Quite frankly, Naruto wasn't in the mood for this bullshit. If he had no choice, then he accepted it, but thanks to Hera, he does have a chance to make the stipulations. Now all he had to do was make it to the Gateway Arch first.**

Annabeth paled, "They better not destroy it!"

"Yeah, Percy already did that."

"Dammit Nico!"

_**Keep it mortal...keep it mortal...Wait.**_** Naruto grinned. **_**Mortals cheat.**_

"They do." Hermes nodded with a smile as Ares' smile faltered.

**"**_**If you use the SOL..."**_

_**No, not that.**_** Naruto crossed his fingers and made a shadow clone appear in the passenger seat. The clone nodded at him and rolled the window down all the way. It then reached into the back seat and pulled out the golden bow that lay there gently. He grabbed the quiver and strapped it on. The clone then climbed out onto the roof of the car.**

"That little bastard!"

"Ares," Hera frowned, "He's a proper demigod. Be silent."

Ares grumbled at his mom taking the "Proper" Half-Blood's side.

**The clone drew an arrow as hard as he could, his arms straining before he flicked the knock and let the projectile fly. The whistling arrow shot past Ares and hit the road just in front of him. The god of war swerved out of the way, avoiding the explosion that would've crippled his ride. Ares turned and shouted a rather unkind thing in Greek. Naruto barely caught the words for "Apollo" and "mother".**

"Hey!" Apollo shouted, glaring at his brother.

"Brat deserved it. Trying to wreck my ride." The war god scowled.

"Not much of a ride." The smith god mocked.

Ares glared at his full brother heatedly.

_**Did Ares just pull a Yo' Momma joke on **_**me**_**?**_

**"**_**Think so,**_**" Helios said, amused.**

**Naruto popped his head out of the window and looked at his clone. "Take out his back wheel!"**

"Yeah!" Apollo cheered.

**"Hai, Oyabun!" Another arrow was drawn and released, dinging the exhaust pipe.**

**Another spew of Greek swears escaped Ares' mouth.**

**Naruto popped his head out again. "You missed!"**

"Some son of Apollo." Percy rolled his eyes.

Apollo pursed his lips at that, crossing his arms.

**"I'm sorry, would you like to come out here and shoot arrows at the back of a god's motorcycle?" The clone let another arrow fly. It missed Ares and hit a car on the god's left. The car spun out and crashed.**

"Oh gods, he killed the mortals!" Leo cried out.

"And this is why we don't do archery." Reyna commented.

"They lived." Apollo brushed off the miss.

**"Hey! Don't hit the civilians!"**

**"Fuck you, Oyabun!"**

**Naruto scowled and settled back in his seat. "I'm like those poor shmucks that were casted in the Blues Brothers to play cops..." His eye twitched. "If Ares is supposed to be Jake or Elwood I'll eat my right sandal."**

"Hell no." Apollo and Hermes scowled. Like Ares deserved to be one of the Brothers!

**"**_**Don't. Trust me. That's a promise you do not want to fulfill,"**_** Helios said.**

**The clone drew another arrow back and closed his eyes. It prayed silently to the original's father and aunt before it let the arrow fly. Ares saw the arrow in his rearview mirror and smirked. He started to swerve right, but then the arrow split down the middle. He quickly returned back to his place as the arrow flew past. It magnetized itself to the front of Ares' hog.**

"Ha! Did nothing." Ares crossed his arms with a grin.

"Yet." Frank said, making his Greek aspect of his father scowl.

**"Yes!" The clone pumped his fist before he grabbed a big white arrow from the quiver. He grinned. "Mel Brooks, don't fail me now."**

**The Patriot was drawn back and the knock was flicked. The arrowhead split into three prongs and it was sent flying straight up. The clone climbed back into the car and put the quiver and bow in the back seat before dispelling.**

"…What'd he do?" Ares questioned, a worried frown on his face.

**"...He used the Patriot Arrow!?" **

"The what?" Hazel blinked.

**Naruto's eyes widened in horror and he eased off the gas. He was just glad that most of the civilians were behind them. Naruto watched as a faint white dot came down in the distance in front of them. It headed straight for Ares's bike, the arrow magnetized on the front wheel was beeping loudly. There was a loud boom when the Patriot hit the front of Ares bike and Naruto had to swerve to recover from the shockwave.**

"…LITTLE FUCKER BLEW UP MY RIDE!" Ares bellowed, veins bulging from his thick neck.

"Heh." Hephaestus smiled.

"Burn." Apollo snickered.

**Helios burst into laughter. **_**"Ares is going to kill you!"**_

**"Not if I beat him to the Arch by mortal means," Naruto said with a grin. He floored it past the wrecked bike and the infuriated god of war, being sure to give his uncle the same respect given to him earlier. The finger went up and Ares' cursing was heard for miles.**

"Just desserts." Athena smirked as Ares was cursing under his breath. He'd be doing it aloud, but Hestia was giving him the stink eye.

**"**_**Hermes would be proud to call you his son."**_

**"Maybe in another life," Naruto said.**

Hermes looked rather hopefully at that.

**Naruto made it to the Arch with ease and already took the elevator up twice before deciding to get some lunch at a nice little diner nearby. He was currently enjoying a nice appetizer of bacon and cheese fries with a glass of water. The young waitress who had been assigned to his area walked up to his table with a very upset god behind her. **

"Hitchhiked?"

"Fuck you, Jackson." Ares glared.

**She smiled at Naruto.**

**"Anything else?"**

**"A beer for my friend," Naruto said with a charming grin. The girl smiled back and walked away. Naruto popped a fry into his mouth and grinned at the shaking god. "You seem tense."**

"I'll wring his neck," Ares gritted his teeth.

**"You blew up my bike!" Ares' teeth were grinding together.**

**Naruto popped another fry into his mouth. "You're the one that wanted to race and play dirty."**

**Ares narrowed his eyes. "You. Blew. Up. My. Bike."**

"So against the code!" Ares seethed.

Apollo blinked, "Ares' follows a code?" he asked Hermes and got a shrug.

**"Uncle Heph will have it fixed sooner or later," Naruto said. He took a drink of water and grinned. "Besides, don't you have a pink limo to drive around?"**

Thalia and Percy snickered in remembrance.

**If anything, that only increased the intensity of Ares' glare.**

**"Relax, Uncle Ares-"**

**"Don't 'uncle' me."**

"I drop all relations to you, bike killer." The war god spat.

**Naruto rolled his eyes. "Fine. Ares, then. Just take a seat. I'm buying you some beers."**

**"Humph, as if mortal liquor can satisfy me," Ares said with a scowl. **

"Just add Nectar." Dionysus supplied.

The gods rolled their eyes. They've been doing that far longer than Dionysus was born.

**He plopped down into the chair offered to him and pulled out his knife. The god began cleaning his fingernails. "You figure out some stipulations yet?"**

"Honestly, cleaning your nails at the table." Hera shook her head.

"Meh."

**Naruto looked past him as the waitress returned with the beer in hand. "I'm sorry, can you make that two beers and two of these classic burger dinners? Rare for my friend and medium for myself."**

"Really rare." Ares grumbled.

**"Sure thing," the girl said. She set the beer down in front of Ares and then walked off. Ares turned and allowed himself to watch her go with a grin.**

**"She ain't too bad looking," he said. **

"Certainly not." Leo agreed.

**He looked back at Naruto. "Stop changing the subject. I want to fight."**

**"We're going to fight," Naruto said. He pushed the fries towards Ares. **

"The offering of fries are sacred." Thalia said sagely.

"And delicious." Piper added with a smile.

**"But first we're going to eat. I'm hungry and while it isn't ambrosia, I'm sure it'll fill you up a bit."**

**Ares narrowed his eyes behind his sunglasses before he smirked. "Alright, fine. We'll play nice for now. But we fight after."**

**"I never said we wouldn't." Naruto popped another fry into his mouth. "So why now? My birthday was a month ago."**

**Ares' body shimmered for a moment before the biker that sat across from him had vanished. The slicked back oily hair had become a neat crew cut and the wraparound sunglasses shifted to a more professional version. His face was still scarred, but seemed more respectful. His clothes had changed to that of the US Army blues. The god straightened his jacket sleeves before he leaned forward.**

"Finally." Frank praised the Fates.

Athena hissed, grey eyes narrowed dangerously.

**"Mars," Naruto said with a blink of surprise.**

"Yay." Percy said dryly.

**Mars nodded. "Legionnaire."**

**"I take it you're the reason my hand feels like it's dipped in a bottle of acid," Naruto said.**

"Isn't that all friendly and Roman like?" Nico commented.

"Acid is very friendly, Nico." Reyna said with a smirk.

**"Yes," Mars said. He grabbed the beer in front of him and downed some of it. He frowned. "This is piss water compared to Bacchus' stuff."**

"Here here!" Dionysus cheered with glee.

**"I wouldn't know," Naruto said. He sat back with crossed arms. "So what do you want to talk about? You didn't call me here for a fight."**

**"No, but it was the easiest way to get something out of the way and get you somewhere to talk without risk of being brushed off," Mars said. He frowned at the blond. "You owe me for allowing you to continue living after what you did to my camp."**

**"Forgive me, but being a Greek pulled into Roman politics was really irritating," Naruto said with a frown.**

"I agree whole heartedly." Percy nodded, "No offense guys." He said to his Roman friends.

"It's fine." Jason shrugged.

**"You are of Apollo's loins, you are **_**Roman**_**."**

"He goes both ways." Apollo grinned at his innuendo.

Thalia just rolled her eyes.

**Naruto rubbed his brow. "Phoebus...Both, I suppose. Whatever, what do you need, O Father of Rome?"**

**Mars smirked. "I need you to obtain a demigod."**

**"I don't do that anymore," Naruto said. "Orders from down below."**

**"I'm pulling a favor from Pluto," Mars said. "My son waits in Canada-"**

"Me?" Frank pointed to himself.

"You." Hazel poked his side playfully.

"All new and awkward you." Leo chirped with a grin.

Frank groaned, palming his face.

**"No."**

**Mars narrowed his eyes. "You say that as if you have a choice."**

**"I'm **_**not**_** going to Canada," Naruto said. He crossed his arms and scowled. "Not while that prick Hymen is still up there."**

The demigods laughed at the name.

"I cannot believe his mother called him that," Apollo snickered to himself.

**"Consider yourself lucky he hasn't come down south to hunt you," Mars said. "You broke his daughter's heart."**

"He dated his niece?" Percy asked.

Annabeth gave a sly smile, "So? He's dating his aunt right now."

"Annie!"

"Not to mention she marries him to if chapter one was anything to go by," Piper smirked.

"All my hate!"

"All my love," Aphrodite smiled widely at Thalia's raging.

**"I got her to leave California," Naruto said with a scowl. "Dumbass shouldn't have let her move so close to the Underworld and Camp Jupiter."**

**"Your feud with your half-brother aside, you must go retrieve my son," Mars said. "Consider it your first mandatory mission. I do not want the Titans to discover him. He is a valuable asset to the Legion."**

"Asset?" Frank muttered.

"For wartime, yes." Reyna nodded.

**Their burgers came and the waitress left quickly after a short look from Mars. The Roman god of war returned his gaze to the blond across from him. Naruto steepled his fingers together and hummed in thought.**

**"Do I still have to fight Ares?" he asked.**

"Duh."

**"Yes."**

**Naruto groaned. "Yeah, alright, fine. I'll go find your kid. What's his name?"**

**"Frank Zhang."**

"What other Canadian would there be?" Percy grinned at the legacy.

"Well," Ares rubbed his chin.

**"...Really?" Naruto arched a brow.**

**"His mother is-was in the military."**

Frank's shoulders sank as Hazel rubbed his arm soothingly.

**"Retired?"**

**Mars said nothing.**

**"Oh..." Naruto rubbed his chin and nodded. "Alright. But I need a few things in return."**

**"Such as?"**

**"Support for a unit I want to put together," Naruto said.**

Hera arched a brow, looking intrigued.

**"You want me to support a Greek squadron?" Mars asked.**

"Foolish." Athena frowned.

**"It'll be five, maybe six kids' tops, including myself."**

**Mars narrowed his eyes. "Fair enough. But if you fail me, your endeavors after this war has passed will be for naught."**

"Typical god threat, yada yada." Percy rolled his eyes.

**"Best I can ask for," Naruto said. He grabbed his burger and took a bite. He immediately choked on something and spat the beef out, rubbing his throat. He glared at the ceiling. "What? I can't enjoy a burger anymore!? Not cool."**

"You she-devil!" Thalia cried out to her step-mother. Ruining the sanctity of burgers!

Hera was nothing but smiles.

**"Serves you right, punk," Ares said. He took a sloppy bite, if you could call what he did to his burger a bite, and chewed it inappropriately. "So what were you saying? I zoned out."**

"Hippos have more manners." Athena commented.

**"Let's box," Naruto said. **

"Didn't Ares lose to you?" Percy asked his sunny cousin, who grinned.

"Yes he did." Apollo nodded, "SO did Hermes."

"Oh shut up." Hermes frowned, stupid god of sports. So cheap.

**Ares swallowed his 'bite' and grinned excitedly.**

**"Rounds?"**

**Naruto shook his head. "We'll go old school. Technical knockouts will end the match. We need an impartial ref."**

**"Bare fisted!"**

**"We're not brawling." Naruto frowned. "Cestus. And not bladed in anyway or you'll be disqualified."**

"Boo! Let's have some blood."

Frank thumbed to his father, "And this is what I was born from." He told Reyna.

"I like Mars better." The praetor commented in return.

**Ares snorted. "Chicken."**

**Naruto rolled his eyes. **_**I think I like Mars more.**_

"See? We agree." Reyna smiled as Thalia felt irritated.

**"**_**What?"**_

_**Never mind.**_** Naruto grabbed the burger on his plate and lifted it back to his mouth. He took another bite and this time it tasted like it had been dipped in the Curry of Life. Naruto dropped his burger and grabbed a jug of water as it passed by. He drank it as fast as he could and panted when it ran out.**

**"That's just cruel!" He said to himself, ignoring the laughter of the god of war.**

Thalia was seething at the sight. It was too cruel!

**"Ah, the threat of falling two hundred meters," Ares said. He had made a platform at the top of the Gateway Arch using his godly abilities. Several hovering cameras with eta etched into the side were floating around them. **

Hephaestus gave a thumbs up. Leo was grinning.

**Ares grinned and cracked his knuckles. "Ready?"**

**"Why did I say you could pick the venue?" Naruto asked, looking over the edge of the ropes with a bit of worry. "Now I'm glad I didn't choose wrestling."**

Apollo brightened up at that. Best thing, ever!

**"That would've been more fun!" Ares said with a frown.**

**Naruto shuddered at the thought and adjusted his cestus. "So...Are we going full traditional nudity for this or...?"**

"Yes, because two naked sweaty men is just so entertaining." Aphrodite sighed with a dreamy smile.

"For you," Artemis said with a noise of disguise.

"Oui!"

**"Hell no."**

**"Skins then?"**

**Ares smirked. "If you ain't too chicken for it."**

**Naruto's eye twitched. **_**He's good at taunting, I'll give him that.**_

**"**_**Not really, you're just irritated already."**_** Helios chuckled.**

"And he just adds to it." Annabeth muttered.

**Naruto frowned and tugged his shirt off. He glared at the god of war, pointedly ignoring the god's scarred body. "So where's the ref?"**

**"I'm here!" Naruto looked up and grinned at the sight of his goddaughter's grandmother. Nike had changed from her tracksuit to a referee's shirt and pants, her favorite shoes still in place on her feet as she hovered above the arena. Nike waved at the blond demigod while her gold wings flapped. "Hello again, hero!"**

"..She feels like some NPC." Leo stated.

"She's very blunt and sunny." Apollo said with a dreamy smile.

**"Hello, Nike," Naruto said with a nod. He grinned at the scowling Ares. "What's wrong, Ares? Rethinking your challenge?"**

**"You're not psyching me out, kid!" Ares snarled. He tossed his sunglasses to his corner and stomped towards where Naruto stood.**

**Nike landed in the middle of the ring and pointed at opposite corners. "Ah, ah, ah. No fighting yet, I haven't rung the bell! **

"Yeah, Ares, wait for the bell."

"Shut up, Hermes!"

**Now, I want a clean and **_**fair**_** fight. No changing the demigod into an animal, no cutting, no slicing, no lethal blows, no kicking, and most importantly, no hitting below the belt."**

"Amen!" the males nodded.

"I always go for below the belt." Thalia smiled cruelly.

"Same." Reyna nodded, making them narrow eyes at one another.

"Smart girls." Artemis looked pleased.

**Both of the fighters looked a bit relieved at the last rule.**

**"Fair is fair," Nike said. She turned to one of the Hephaestus TV cameras and grinned. "Hello sports fans, commentator and referee Nike back with a new special. Tonight, the god of war faces off against the son of Apollo in a good ol' fashioned boxing match! It reminds me of the first Olympic bout, where Apollo defeated Ares in the second day of the fight!"**

"She just has to rub it in!" Ares threw his hand in the air with a scowl on his scarred face.

**"He got a lucky shot in!" Ares scowled at the reminder of his loss to his 'girly' brother.**

"Girly?!" Apollo snapped.

"Girl hair," the war god sneered.

"Girl hair? Ha! Ladies love my hair!" the sun god hmphed.

"I do!"

"Thank you, Dite."

**"Tch, more like someone isn't as strong as they would like to be," Naruto said. Ares snarled at him from his corner.**

**"This fight wouldn't be possible without the help of Demeter's Smart Start! The Breakfast of Olympus!" Nike said. **

"Gag me." Hades blanched as Demeter glared at him.

**The camera backed away and Nike turned to the two competitors. "To the middle!"**

**Naruto and Ares met in the middle of the ring. Naruto's eye twitched. Ares had made himself grow to six-foot-eight. **

"Boo!"

"Cheap!"

"You suck!"

Are glared at everyone jeering at him.

**Both held their hands out and shook lightly. Nike put her hands atop theirs.**

**"Remember, a good **_**clean**_** fight." Both men gave her an annoyed look. Nike just smiled. "Alright, back two paces!"**

**The two did as instructed and lifted their fists. Nike waved her hand and a bell appeared hovering next to her. She struck it twice with a small hammer and the two moved forward.**

"I love doing that," the sun god smiled.

"Ding ding," Percy grinned. Hate on Naruto he might, but the enemy of my enemy is my friend in this case.

**"I'm going to enjoy paying you back for wrecking my bike," Ares said. He took a swing and Naruto ducked under it. Naruto brought his right hand up into Ares' stomach, making the god take a solitary step back. **

"And first blow to the demigod." Apollo announced as Ares scowled.

**He scowled at the blond that was dancing on his feet. "You're **_**dead**_**!"**

**"No death blows!" Nike shouted from above.**

"Pheh." Ares sneered.

**Ares glared at her. Naruto snuck in a left cross when Ares returned his attention to the fight. The god stumbled towards the edge of the Arch. He stopped himself with a firm stomp that cracked the concrete of the Arch. He looked at Naruto with a heavy glare, his exploding eyes more menacing than before.**

"Ares, Level Two." Hermes sniggered.

**Naruto had his guard up as Ares came swinging. His arms throbbed by the time Ares had backed off. Naruto dropped them slightly, leaving his stomach wide open for the low straight. Naruto stumbled back, his hand on his stomach, while he tried to regain the air he lost after the blow to his diaphragm. Ares didn't relent, drilling at his opening. Naruto had his elbows locked in close over his stomach, occasionally lifting his arms to block his face.**

"He can take some punishment," Hades commented, "I'll give the boy that."

**Ares backed off and took a breath. Naruto moved in, going for more blows to the god's core. Ares blocked it and cracked Naruto across the face. **

"No!" the goddess of love cried out.

**The punch had Naruto stumbling towards the opposite edge of the Arch. The blond used chakra to keep himself in place and looked at Ares with a scowl.**

_**Okay, how the Hell did Dad beat him?**_

**"**_**Both are gods,"**_** Helios said. **_**"You can admit defeat."**_

_**Fuck no! Jackson beat Ares when he was twelve, I can do this!**_

_"Ha!" Percy grinned wildly. _

**"**_**In a swordfight to the death. This is boxing. They're different."**_

_Percy pouted. _

_**A fight is a fight.**_

The son of Poseidon nodded. Naruto brought up a good point.

**Naruto walked back towards Ares with his hands clenched tightly. **_**What are the rules?**_

**"**_**No grabs, no holds, no clawing, no lethal blows."**_

**"Nothing about us syncing up," Naruto said. Helios let out an excited chuckle. He closed his eyes. "Come on...give me a boost."**

"Light 'em up up up, light 'em up up up!" Apollo sang the Fall Out Boy song.

**"I'm falling asleep over here!" Ares growled at the blond. Naruto opened his eyes and grinned as he was engulfed in light. Golden eyes with blue suns locked onto Ares' nuclear orbs and Naruto shot forward with his fist cocked back. Ares blinked and blocked the punch with his arm. "Finally, I was wondering when you would go all out!"**

**Naruto's face fell into a small frown. "You wanted me to use Helios' power?"**

**"Duh." Ares said. **

"Hello, power of a god." Ares rolled his eyes, "Of course I'd want to fight that." He grinned viciously.

**He followed with a punch to the face that made Naruto dive to the ground before he rolled out of it. Naruto shook his head, rubbed his cheek and glared at Ares. The blond moved in and ducked under a swing, delivering three sharp blows to the god's side. Ares swung his arm back and Naruto ducked it again, following with multiple blows to Ares' gut. Naruto brought his left fist back and drove it up into Ares' jaw.**

"Shoryuken!" Leo exclaimed.

**The god stumbled back and dropped to a knee, his eyes were wide with shock. Ares rubbed his aching jaw and glared at Naruto thoughtfully. "You're stronger than I gave you credit for, brat."**

"Didn't you say that to me too?" Percy asked the god.

"No."

"Oh, it must have been in between me kicking your butt."

"Why you little-!"

Zeus frowned, "Ares, clam yourself." He told his now seething son as Percy smirked at the war god.

**"I did go toe-to-toe with Atlas," Naruto said dryly. Ares snorted and spat out a tooth that was quickly replaced with another. Naruto blinked. "Gross, and yet, really cool."**

Apollo gave a thumbs up, "Always handy."

**"I am a god," Ares said mockingly.**

**"Makes me wonder why you keep some of those scars, though," Naruto said. "Not as 'manly' today as it was back in the day."**

"I like them," Aphrodite commented, getting a groan from her husband.

**"Says the whiskered boy."**

**Naruto's eye twitched. "They're birthmarks!"**

"Yeah! And Thalia loves them!"

"Annie!"

**"They make you look stupid," Ares said coming forward with another punch. Naruto sidestepped it and drove his fist into the god's gut once more. Ares stopped himself from doubling over and used his other fist to deliver a cross into Naruto's jaw. **

"Counter," Frank winced, that had to hurt.

**Naruto took a few steps back before he steadied himself. He wiped his red and gold blood from his lip.**

**"Ah, you're just jealous I pull off the whiskers better than you ever could," Naruto said, smirking. **

"They are rather…fetching." Reyna commented, like a cat almost.

"Indeed." Aphrodite smiled brightly.

**He blocked a punch with his forearm and struck out with his other fist. Ares took the blow across the face and backed off.**

**This pattern continued for several hours, **

"Look at that stamina…Thalia's lucky." Piper said, getting a flush red hunter as her reward, who soon growled at her.

**Naruto would take a punch and Ares would block one. Or Ares would take several punches while Naruto's arms were battered and bruised by Ares' relentless assaults. **

"Manly man's fight." Leo whistled.

"Almost like DBZ…but not half as cool." Percy said.

**They kept fighting, but eventually Ares and Naruto started to grow tired. Naruto was a half-blood by technicality, so Ares had to modify his body to be more 'human' in respect to the rules of facing a hero, thus putting a limit on his stamina, endurance and power. **

"Only reason you won, Jackson…plus I was hung over." Ares pointed his fat finger at the demigod.

"Okay." Percy nodded mockingly.

**In short, Ares was pissed that a demigod – albeit a strong one – was putting him on the edge of his toes in a fistfight.**

"Baby." The smith god snorted, getting a glare from the war god.

**"So...Give up...yet?" Ares asked between breaths. He hated the damn fairness rule that was constructed by the Olympians. He was the god of war, he should've been able to defeat sunshine's brat by now.**

"Shoulda, but you just can't stop the sun! For it shines the brightest!" Apollo declared with his nose in the air…until Artemis flicked it, "Ow!"

"Idiot." She told him, but a smile tugged on her face.

**"What's wrong? Getting...tired?" Naruto asked in return. He grinned, revealing a chipped tooth within his bloody mouth. "I can...do this...all day..."**

**"One more...should put you down..." Ares said. He brought his arm back and swung it at Naruto's head.**

"Famous last words," Jason muttered.

**Naruto leaned back and let the swing pass him. He brought his left arm back. He drove his fist forward with all his might and struck Ares in the side of the head with a powerful left hook. Ares fell to the ground, dazed by the blow. **

"Like when he gargled seaweed."

Ares' glare could've burned holes through Percy's head.

**Naruto quickly capitalized and mounted Ares' chest. The blond pressed Ares' head back into the Arch with his left hand and repeatedly punched him with his right.**

Hephaestus started to take screen shots.

**This continued after Nike rung the bell, declaring Ares unconscious from the repeated blows to the head. **

"Bullshit!"

**The god of war wasn't entirely unconscious, but it was enough for her to determine a winner. **

Ares crossed his arms, scowling heavily.

**Nike flew down and pulled Naruto off of Ares. She grabbed his wrist and lifted it.**

**"Your winner, Naruto Uzumaki! Son of Apollo!" Nike said with a smile to the cameras. Naruto panted and chuckled twice before his glowing aura dispersed and he passed out, his arm still held in the air.**

"Perfect ending," the smith god said.

"Dammit!" Ares cursed, throwing a fit.

"Who's next?" Nico asked with pursed lips, he wanted to hear more about his sister.

"Me," Hazel said, knowing what Nico wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own ****_Naruto_**** or ****_Percy Jackson and the Olympians_****.**

**Reading: Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian III: The Argonauts**

**III**

Hazel smiled as she continued the tale.

**A blue eye with a golden pupil cracked open, the skin around it dark and swollen. **

"That poor, handsome face." Aphrodite looked appalled. Ares on the other hand snickered.

**Naruto tried to lift himself from his back, only to decide against it after a jolt of pain went up his spine. His head and body were sore, more so than after the fight he had with Atlas. **

"Yes!" Ares pumped his fist, "Suck it, Atlass!"

**Heck, it was just as bad after he fought Gaara for the first time. Then again, maybe a boxing match with a god was more painful than fighting a fraction of a primordial when you're twelve...No, fighting Shukaku was worse than boxing against Ares.**

Ares looked like a sad eviscerated puppy.

**Damn tanuki had almost crushed him with sand at least twice.**

**"It's about time." Naruto blearily turned to face the one who spoke. Mars sat in a chair within the run-down motel room. **

Frank was all smiles as Ares scoffed, crossing his arms at seeing his other.

**"Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to wake up? It's been hard enough to ensure the fool doesn't take over and kill you for besting him."**

**"Mars, my everything aches. Can you scold me later?" Naruto asked. "Like, when I'll actually give a shit what you think?"**

**Mars scowled at him. "I'm still a god, boy. Watch your mouth."**

"And this is why you're respected more as a Roman." Hera scolded.

"Bah!" the war god waved off his mother, scowling.

**"Let me rephrase that then, scold me after I've gotten some ambrosia and nectar," Naruto said. With a small whimper, Naruto sat up and wrapped his arm around his stomach. "Oh yeah...A rib is definitely broken."**

**"Suck it up." Mars tossed him a small golden cube. While Naruto nibbled on the godly food, Mars crossed his arms and sat back. "You will have the god of war's backing. You must have at least one of my children, from both camps, involved."**

"My time to shine?" Frank asked curiously.

"Maybe," Hazel said.

"Still needs one of each…who's going to be the other?" Annabeth asked with worry, most of Ares kids were pretty rough.

"Who knows?" Percy shrugged.

**"Done," Naruto said after a swallow of ambrosia. "Anything else?"**

**"No. I am done with you." No sooner had he said it did the respectable form of Mars turn into the ruffian that was Ares. The Greek god of war rolled his neck and glared at the blond.**

**"Hey Ares," Naruto said with a weak wave. He reached up and touched his eye. The swelling was going down, but not fast enough for him. "Ow."**

**"Pussy," Ares said. He rubbed his jaw. "Not bad for a half-blood."**

"Did Ares just complement someone?" Apollo mock gasped.

"Ha. Ha." Ares said dryly, glaring at his sunny brother.

**"Better than Jackson?" Naruto asked.**

"No/Yes." Percy and Ares said, then glaring at one another.

**Ares gnashed his teeth. "That doesn't count! I was hung over!"**

"Yeah right," Hephaestus called out.

"I was!"

**"Su-u-ure you were," Naruto said. He blinked. "Wait, you're embarrassed by losing to Jackson –"**

**"It doesn't count, dammit!"**

Percy sniggered into his fist, Ares baring his teeth at his demigod rival.

**"Whatever – but you're not embarrassed by losing to me?" Naruto asked.**

**"You're a respectable loss, barely," Ares said. "Couldn't have won without the tattler's help."**

**"**_**Hey, Hephaestus had a right to know, asshole!"**_

_The smith god nodded. _

**Naruto rolled his eyes. That was a can of worms he did not plan on opening. "And Jackson isn't because, why?"**

**"Jackson is a little urchin who won't fight again without daddy's help." **

"No." Percy said, "I'm game." He looked intently at Ares.

"Oh, this just got-"

"No." Zeus and Poseidon told their sons, getting frowns from the two.

**Ares spat to the side in disgust, where a small fire appeared on the floor. **

"Can I do that?" Leo asked eagerly, that looked awesome.

"Maybe." Hephaestus told his son.

**Naruto snuffed it out with a wave of his hand.**

**Naruto rolled his eyes. "This is about the water thing, isn't it?"**

**"It's so cheap!" Ares snarled as he thought about the fight he had with Poseidon's son. "I had him right where I wanted him and he got a drop of water on him! A DROP!"**

"You know, that is a bit of an over the top ability." Apollo pointed out.

"I concur." Athena said.

"Same." Zeus nodded as Hades joined him.

Poseidon humphed, "Please, your kids can fly and shoot lighting while yours can rise the dead and travel by shadow. Mine need an edge too." He argued, "And I can't help if they are born with it. Can't control it."

Zeus and Hades grumbled at that.

**"You have that thing your kids get, the war boost or whatever," Naruto said dryly.**

Frank nodded at his 'war boost' it was awesome.

"Hm, I wonder if mother offers something such as that." Reyna thought aloud.

**"That's different! My brats **_**earn**_** it!" Ares said with a scowl.**

"The buffoon makes a point." Athena commented.

"Yeah, I-Hey!"

**Naruto rubbed his head. He was way too sober to have this debate. **

"Here here!" Mr. D said, holding his diet Coke can up.

**"Okay...let's go get some drinks and then we'll continue this conversation."**

**"Damn right we'll continue this conversation! I need some piss water," Ares said. **

"Well, the toilet is right now the hall." Poseidon told his nephew, getting a glare from the war god.

**He got up and stormed out, Naruto followed him without another word.**

**"**_**Well, this is sure to be fun."**_** Helios said dryly.**

_**Shut up.**_** Naruto grimaced. **_**At least it will be better than the time Jiraiya took all my money for his 'companions' and booze.**_

_"Evil," Hermes said, you don't just take a kids money. It was like taking candy from a baby! _

**"And then the brat had the gall to accuse me – **_**me!**_** – of stealing all of his money for hookers and booze!" Jiraiya said. **

"And it's true." Apollo pointed out, he was superfly like that.

**He was telling the demigods of one of the adventures he had on his training trip with Naruto. "The gall of that brat! I only took half to pay Aiko, Mimi and Satsuki...and a bit to pay for some of the sake...And for that pipe..." Jiraiya put a hand on his chin in thought. "Hm...Maybe I did take all of his money."**

**"Gee, you think?" Thalia asked, her lips curled into a sneer. So far, his story had been barely censored, just enough to let the three demigods figure out what he was doing with the lovely 'companions' in the red light district. **

"He's telling this to children?" Hestia gasped with anger soon taking over her features.

The gods shivered at the look.

**Bianca's face was an interesting shade of pink **

"Probably thinking of Will." The sun god grinned.

"Doubt it." Hades scowled.

**and Percy was doing no better. The son of Poseidon looked like he was about to pass out from all the blood that rushed to his face. **

Annabeth gave her boyfriend an amused look, making the son of the sea look off to the side.

**Thalia just wanted to zap this man to death, which she would, if he wasn't already dead.**

"Worst part about deadmen," Nico commented dryly, "They do tell tales."

**"Shut up, girl. You're biased, your opinion matters not to me!" Jiraiya said childishly as he crossed his arms. "Stupid brat...You just had to go and ruin my image for your girlfriend..."**

"You did that all on your own," the hunter said in distaste.

**"What image?" Thalia asked with a snort.**

**Jiraiya beamed. "Why my amazing charm, of course!"**

Artemis just cradled her face. Yes, this man did indeed train Apollo, or Apollo helped the man develop a similar ego.

**"Yeah, he definitely taught Apollo." Percy's hand went to his head after Jiraiya cuffed him. "Hey!"**

**"I have ears, moron," Jiraiya said. "Humph, no respect for your elders. You're both too damn alike."**

**Percy bristled at the thought. He wasn't anything like Naruto! Naruto is an asshole. He wasn't an asshole. ...Was he?**

"No, Percy." Annabeth assured him.

"And Naruto isn't either."

"Getting defensive for your not boyfriend, Thalia?"

"…Shut up, Jason."

**Thalia laughed for a moment before she yelped and her hands flew to her backside. **

"He didn't!" Thalia raged.

**While she glared at the sage with murder in her eyes, Percy and Bianca gaped. Jiraiya just kept his smirk plastered on his face.**

"He did." Leo nodded, a smirk coming across his face. He liked this guy.

**"You shouldn't laugh at others' misfortune, it's considered rude," he said with a wag of his finger.**

**Thalia pulled her mace canister out of her pocket. "I'll show you rude! With my spear rammed right up your a-!"**

"Typical Thalia." Percy sighed.

"It's justified." The hunter scowled.

**"Thalia, we don't have time for this," Bianca said timidly. Thalia didn't seem to hear her and instead continued to threaten the dead man. **

"It's like she's the background." Hermes muttered, getting a dirty look from his uncle. The speedy god held up his hands, "Hey, just saying is all, Uncle Hades."

"Well don't."

**Percy watched Bianca as she looked around nervously. "Something doesn't feel right."**

**As if on cue, small humanoid bats appeared in a ring around them. They appeared to be female. All of them had pug-like faces, which included the fangs, fur and bulged eyes. The arms were short but clawed, the wings were leathery and large, and the legs were bowed, almost unused. They were comical in appearance, or would have been if not for the murder that was evident in the creatures' eyes.**

"Oh, them." Percy said dryly as Thalia scowled in remembrance. Nico sighed, great, this again.

**"Oh, wonderful." Jiraiya scowled. He crossed his arms and looked at one of the creatures. "And what in the name of Hades do you think **_**you**_**'**_**re**_** doing?" The monster he addressed merely hissed. Jiraiya shook his head and looked to Bianca. "Think you could tell them to move?"**

**"Um, maybe?" Bianca stood up straight and glared as best she could at one. **

"Aw, like a kitten trying to look angry." Aphrodite cooed, getting Hades to palm his face.

**"Keres, the daughter of Hades commands that you leave!"**

**The monsters looked around before they broke into laughter that sounded like air that was released from a tire. Bianca ordered them again and they laughed harder.**

"Wow, embarrassing." Leo said, getting a dirty look from Nico, "What? I thought you guys had control of spirity things like them."

"They were rebelling." The son of Hades informed.

**"Well, aren't they obedient?" Jiraiya gave a mild amused smirk to the daughter of Hades. Bianca looked down and he patted her on the shoulder. "Don't look glum, we tried being nice. Now we get to ask the fun way!"**

"I like him," Ares smiled widely.

"You would." Athena wrinkled her nose.

**"Before we go with Thalia's preferred option, can someone tell me what these things are?" Percy asked. **

"And there's that Jackson ignorance." Ares shook his head, getting Percy to glare at him.

He knew stuff! He just hadn't learned it yet was all.

**He ignored the scowl Thalia gave him for his comment.**

**"Keres," Jiraiya said. "Daemons that feed upon violent deaths. Normally, they don't have backbones, but this group seems to have grown some if they ignore one of Hades' children."**

**"Hades will soon fall!" one hissed, its mouth lined with foam. "Our new master will let us feast! Nevermore will we be chained lapdogs!"**

"Well, I could always get them fitted for collars." Hades said darkly.

Nico smiled darkly at that.

**"That's one dog I don't mind kicking," Thalia said as she pressed the button on her mace canister.**

**Percy gave her a bewildered stare. "What?"**

**"Just shut up and kill them!" Thalia said as she stabbed one in the face. It disintegrated immediately. She turned and bashed another into the ground. Her foot stomped down on the Keres while her spear skewered two more that flew at her. The three of her foes disintegrated immediately.**

"Fast work," Jason whistled as Thalia buffered her nails.

"I know."

**Percy sliced a wing off the one that first approached him. Another came from the other direction and he stabbed it straight on. One came from the opposite direction again and Percy turned to lop the head off.**

"Go Percy," Annabeth smiled along with her boyfriend.

**"Percy!" The son of Poseidon turned just in time to see a mass of shadow catch one of the Keres midair. **

"Why didn't you do that?" Percy asked Nico.

"I'm better with dead things. Bianca seems to be good with shadows."

"And I'm good with earth." Hazel mused, "Interesting."

**It was inches from Percy's head and the boy was sure that would be a painful experience. Quickly, he stabbed it in the face and it disintegrated.**

**Percy nodded to Bianca in gratitude for the save and she gave a small smile back. **

"Aw, they're bonding," Hazel said as Percy gave a sad smile. Wishing he could do that with Bianca.

**Percy's sea green eyes widened when Bianca was nearly tackled from the side. A hand had latched onto the small leg of the Keres and pulled it back. Jiraiya grabbed the roof of the daemon's head and the jaw before he tore it down the middle into dust.**

"Brutality!" Ares sang.

**"Enough of this!" Jiraiya said. His hands became blurs of motion and slammed into the dirt. "**_**Doton: Ganchūsō (Earth Release: Rock Pillar Spears)**_**!"**

**The swarm was halted as several pillars burst from the onyx ground and impaled each of the Keres. They all simultaneously disintegrated into dust, and left the three demigods surrounded by a ring of sharp pillars.**

"…Can you do that?" Frank asked his girlfriend.

"Maybe." Hazel said excitedly.

**"Okay, that was cool," Percy said under his breath.**

**Thalia glared at the sage. "Hey, we could've handled it!"**

"We did fine." Thalia nodded.

"I got hurt." Percy pointed out.

"Whose fault is that?"

"…Shut up."

**"And one of you would've died in the process," Jiraiya said with a snort. "Yeah, thanks, but I'd rather not have my boss or either of his brothers after my head."**

**"What is that supposed to mean?" Thalia asked, her eyes narrowed.**

**"What it means, **_**girl**_**, is that all of you **_**suck**_**." Jiraiya looked irritated. **

"What?!" Percy and Thalia snapped as the Big Three did not look pleased either.

**Percy and Thalia glared at him while Bianca hung her head in shame. **

"Wow, Negative Nancy, huh?" Apollo asked.

"Well, look who her father is." Zeus said.

"Hey," Hades glared at his youngest brother.

Zeus merely pointed to Nico.

"…Shut up."

Zeus smirked at his small victory.

**He arched his brow. "What?"**

**"What do you mean we suck!?" Both Percy and Thalia asked. They shared a glance and then resumed their unified glare at the dead sage. Apparently, this was a rare agreement they had.**

"And Armageddon soon followed." Hades quipped dryly.

**"You suck, plain and simple," Jiraiya said. "Your teamwork is absolute shit."**

**Thalia scowled at the man. "So only our teamwork sucks?"**

"Because if he said my skills sucked, I'd kill him…for real. No, I'd super kill him." Thalia muttered.

"That's not a thing." Nico told her.

"Shut up, death breath."

**Jiraiya was quiet for a moment before he nodded. "Yep."**

**"What do you mean?" Percy asked. "We can work together well! We were holding our own!"**

**"Eventually you would have been overwhelmed," Jiraiya said. He crossed his arms over his chest. "You three are the children of the kings, your individual skills are no joke, but when it comes to working together, you all, like your fathers, **_**suck**_**."**

"-The biggest of dick." Ares said.

"ARES!" Zeus snapped, his brothers similar.

"Worth it!"

**"That's not true," Percy said. "Poseidon and Athena made the chariot!"**

Percy and Annabeth nodded. Their parents? Well, they looked sheepish.

**"What and you think that went along swimmingly?" Jiraiya snorted at the thought. "According to some sources, it took them over fifty decades before they could agree on a design, a method of attaching the horse to the wagon, and who got the credit for it. No, your father and Athena did not work well together."**

"It was all Poseidon's fault." Athena quickly said.

"Oh please! It was yours!"

They were about to go at it (again) until Hestia coughed daintily, getting them to settle with just glaring at each other.

**Percy faltered for words. Finally, he managed to get out a question. "Fifty decades?"**

"Right?" Percy said to his other.

**Jiraiya shrugged. "Gods are stubborn and prideful, but Poseidon is the most stubborn and Athena is the most prideful. **

"To a T." they sea and wise couple said, making sour looks from their parents.

**Throw them at one another and it'll be a cold day in...well, here before one gives in to the other. Heck, my sources say it was Hestia who managed to come up with a peaceful solution, but that's just hearsay."**

**"It's a miracle that you and Annie get any work done," Thalia said under her breath.**

"The next generation." Annabeth giggled as Percy smiled at her.

**Jiraiya apparently heard her. "And let's not forget about your father, hot stuff. **

"I want to snap his neck," Thalia muttered under her breath.

**When's the last time the Thunderer worked with anyone willingly aside from the Titanomachy?"**

Zeus opened his mouth, but all the gods answered, "Never."

Zeus scowled.

**Thalia snarled at Jiraiya for his 'nickname' for her, but otherwise had no rebuttal.**

**"That's what I thought," Jiraiya said with a smirk. He looked at Bianca, who was still downtrodden. "Hey, buck up kiddo. As far as you're concerned, you just got the short end of the stick like your dad. At least, that's all I can say legally in the presence of these two morons without risking my job."**

"Smart move." Hades smiled as his brothers frown that Hades got some slack from the ninja.

**"Hey!" Thalia and Percy glared at the sage.**

**"I'm not wrong." Jiraiya chuckled. He pointed at Thalia. "You are far too easily angered. How the brat manages to keep you calm, I'll unfortunately never know."**

**Thalia flushed red and gave him a murderous glare.**

"Well, it seems we know." Apollo laughed, getting a glare from his sister.

"With who her father is, I'm not surprised." Hera sniffed, getting a murderous look from Thalia and a frown from Zeus.

He wasn't _that _bad. Right?

**"You, on the other hand, are just plain old **_**dumb**_**," Jiraiya said to Percy. **

"…I hate him," Percy scowled, just like he hated Apollo Naruto. He wasn't that dumb!

**The son of Poseidon bristled and his sea green eyes narrowed. Jiraiya arched a brow. "No? Prove me wrong. What temperature does bronze have to be heated to in order to be shaped?"**

**Percy blinked in confusion and scowled. "Why would I know that?"**

Leo raised an eyebrow, "It's a pretty easy question."

"Yeah, for you." Percy pointed out.

**"Your father is the sire of countless one-eyed smiths, **_**moron**_**," Jiraiya said. He shook his head while Percy glared at him. **

"He's kind of got a point. I mean, Tyson and all, Percy." Annabeth whispered to him. Getting a pout from the son of the sea.

**"I've got my work cut out for me with you. I wonder how many beat downs it will take until you start to see the world as it is?"**

"Wait what?" Percy asked, Thalia blinking too.

**"Beat downs?" Percy asked.**

**Jiraiya grinned and brought his hands together. His knuckles popped. "Didn't I tell you? Oh, I've decided to take on a new squad for a short period of time."**

**Bianca, Percy and Thalia felt a shiver go up their spine.**

"Be afraid, be very afraid." Hades chuckled. Hopefully this would help Bianca with her confidence issues.

**Jiraiya chuckled. "Welcome to Jiraiya's Boot Camp. There've been only two known survivors. Hopefully, you get to join them."**

"I should totally make a tee-shirt." Apollo rubbed his chin with a thoughtful look.

**Naruto sneezed and dropped his bottle. "Aw, man. I dropped my beer."**

"Stupid boy," Dionysus frowned, a waste of alcohol!

**"Stop bitching," Ares said. He lifted his hand. "Hey, bring us another round!"**

**"You two have each had over twelve beers, I should cut you off," the bartender said with a frown.**

"Stupid mortal says what?" Ares glared. Twelve? Ha! That wasn't even a warmup!

**Ares glared at him from behind his sunglasses. "I'd like to see you try."**

**"Don't mind him, this is my last one," Naruto said. He was starting to feel the buzz. He slapped a twenty on the counter. "Keep the change."**

**"How you're both still alive, I'll never know." The bartender put another bottle in front of Naruto. "This is your last one. And if I see you get near a car..."**

**"Call me a cab," Naruto said with a shrug. The bartender nodded and walked off, and Naruto turned to the god of war with a frown on his face. "Is there a reason you have to be an asshole?"**

"He's Ares." The gods said, the war god grinning.

"Damn right."

**"Aside from the fact I like to? No, not really," Ares said with a smirk. "It's fun. You should try it sometime. You'd be surprised how much ass I get with it."**

**"I'm surprised you get any at all," Naruto said. He was a bit buzzed, so the filter was off. "I mean, Aphrodite, sure she knew you back when you were the epitome for 'manliness', **

"I still am!"

**but now? You're white-trash biker thug...Really not all that impressive."**

Ares' glasses bursted into flames, "What?!"

"He so called you out." Apollo sniggered.

"I've been telling him that for years." Hermes laughed along with his brother.

**Ares snorted. "What? You want me to be a good little soldier boy? Fuck that."**

"He'd at least look respectable." Hera sighed, a delicate hand on her cheek.

Ares scoffed at that.

**Naruto took a drink of his beer. "Why not try being a jarhead?"**

**"Yeah, pass. Can't have as much fun that way," Ares said. "I'm the god of war, you little prick. I fuck shit up and don't care who I upset."**

"I know," Zeus rubbed his eyes, the issues that have come up from his warring son. It gave him such a headache.

**"Now it sounds like you're trying to compensate for something."**

**"Fuck you!"**

**"That was quick. Feeling vulnerable?"**

**"Piss off, shitstain."**

"He is." The smith god smirked, getting a heated look from his brother.

**Naruto snickered and took another swig of his beer. Suddenly a glass broke somewhere and two men started to yell. Naruto looked at Ares, who shrugged.**

"Oh Ares, honestly." Hera sighed, her son just gave a gleeful laugh.

**"I got bored," he said. He smirked. "You ready for another fight?"**

**"Unlike you, uncle Ares, I don't need to beat up drunks to assure my own masculinity," Naruto said.**

**"Pussy."**

**"Whatever." Naruto shook his head and put his beer down. He put down another twenty and got up. "I'm going to go get that cab, now."**

**"Have a nice night," the bartender said. Naruto waved him off and ducked as a glass flew at the back of his head. **

"Kung-Fu master skills." Apollo bowed his head with a grin.

**Without much trouble, Naruto left the bar and turned right.**

**"**_**Well that was fun,"**_** Helios said. The faded god appeared next to the blond, his hands interlaced behind his head as he walked in step with his incarnation.**

**"Yeah it was," Naruto said in return. "About as fun as pulling out a splinter."**

"Cheeky little shit," Ares sneered.

**"**_**Think of it this way, you won't have to do it again,"**_** Helios said with a smirk.**

"Yeah, he'd be too afraid to get his butt whooped again.

"What was that, Jackson?" Ares demanded.

"You have ears, don't you?"

"Why you little-!"

"Ares," Poseidon glared as the war god seethed. Oh, he'd get Jackson back. One day.

**"Whoopee," Naruto said dryly. He turned and held his hand out as a cab approached. "Yo, taxi!" The car drove past him and Naruto flipped it off. "Asshole!"**

**"**_**You could call the chariot of damnation,"**_** Helios said.**

Percy shivered at that memory, it was not a fun ride.

**Naruto scoffed. "Yeah, thanks but no thanks. I'd rather not fall asleep in that thing. Knowing my luck, I'd end up face first in a tree."**

**"**_**Ah, the ol' split and slam,"**_** Helios said with a chuckle. **_**"I remember one time I challenged them to a race when they got the chariot. I led them through a forest and they split the chariot down the middle. Nearly passed me."**_

_"That was a funny day," Hermes commented. _

**"Lovely story," Naruto said with a chuckle. "I take it you won?"**

**"**_**We called it a draw on account of Zeus' interference,"**_** Helios said. **

"He always does that," Apollo groaned, getting his father to look at him sharply.

**He crossed his arms and pouted childishly. **_**"Said I was causing too much damage by being too close to the planet. It's not my fault my chick magnet is a hot rod."**_

_"It's all mine now." Apollo grinned._

_"How many times do you think he used it before you?" Hermes asked with mock curiosity._

_"…I had it lava washed before I got it."_

**"Only now, it's not your hot rod," Naruto said.**

**"**_**Thanks for the reminder...speaking of which, I think I know how you can get a free ride home,"**_** Helios said.**

Apollo lit up.

**Naruto turned and blinked stupidly at Helios before he glared at his past life. "No."**

**"**_**Come on..."**_

**"No!"**

**"**_**You know you want to~!"**_

**"No! I'm not asking him for a ride!"**

"Why not?" the sun god whined.

**"**_**Count yourself lucky. My dad would sooner roast me than give me a ride home after a night at a bar."**_

_"So true." Hades snorted._

**Naruto snorted. "Yeah, I'll just bet that Hyperion was the father of the year."**

**"**_**You're not wrong there,"**_** Helios said with a chuckle. **_**"Still, be grateful your father is so kind."**_

**Naruto was silent for a moment before he sighed. "You suck the biggest of dicks, Helios."**

"Oh yeah he does." Ares nodded, getting a glare from Apollo and Hephaestus to defend the faded titan.

**"**_**I try my best,"**_** Helios said. He burst into particles while Naruto reached into his pocket and pulled out a phone. **

"Aren't we _not_ supposed to have those?" Percy wondered aloud, getting Annabeth's cheeks to pink. Piper sniggered into her hand at her friend's face.

**Naruto pressed several buttons before he held the phone up to his ear.**

**"Hey...Yeah, I, uh, I need a ride," Naruto said. He pulled his head away from the phone as an excited reply came back. "Yeah, awesome, whatever. Just...try and keep the headlights low, alright?"**

"No promises!" the sun god grinned blindingly.

"Tone it down!" Artemis told her twin.

"Ugh, fine!" Apollo pouted and did so.

**Naruto hung up and put the phone back in his pocket. He raked his hand through his hair and groaned. A flash of a young boy with two whiskers and light electric blue eyes went across his face. **

"I wonder who that is?" Piper teased Thalia, getting a growl from the hunter, who was blushing.

Reyna made a huffing noise.

**Naruto slumped down against the wall of a building and pressed his palms against his forehead.**

**"Ugh, note to self. Don't go drinking with a god," he said. The god in his head laughed and Naruto frowned. "Second note; ask dad if alcohol affects clairvoyance."**

"Sorta kinda." Apollo said with a wishy-washy motion of his hand.

**"**_**Oh you have no clue,"**_** Helios said. **_**"Try some of those volcanic fumes next. Talk about an interesting sight. Or, that's what Aunt Phoebe told me once."**_

**"Great Granny Phoebe...now there's someone I'd like to meet," Naruto said. "Her and Koios."**

"You do not want to see him," Percy shook his head. That was one cold dude.

**"**_**Advice on being a Seer?"**_

**"No, I want to know how he turned it off," Naruto said. He scowled. "I don't like knowing too much about things that could or can be. I don't like knowing that what I decide is meaningless in the grand scheme of things."**

"That sounds horrible." Jason said, good thing Octavian wasn't that good at it.

"It's not that bad," Apollo assured, "Oh sure, you get a doomsday vision once in a while, but it's pretty sweet."

That didn't assure Jason at all.

**"**_**Preaching to the choir. How do you think I felt when I found out I was doomed to fade prematurely? Why do you think I taught Apollo how to drive the chariot after what happened to my son?"**_

_Zeus hmphed at that. That was the stupidest thing Helios could have done. _

**Naruto winced. The story of Helios' son Phaeton was one he took to heart. It was very similar to the sad fate of Icarus. In both, the boys played too much with fire and got burned.**

**Before Naruto could comment, a slick golden 2008 Camaro pulled up and the darkly tinted window rolled down. Apollo grinned at his son where he sat in the driver's seat. He was dressed smartly, a dark navy turtleneck and a dark suit over it. His jaw and cheeks were lined with light stubble.**

"Stylin'~" Leo whistled as Apollo grinned.

**"Partying hard?" He asked his son.**

**"You know me," Naruto said. He popped the door open and sat down. Once he had buckled up, he looked at his dad. "What's with the getup?"**

**"Date night," Apollo said. Naruto arched a brow and Apollo grinned. "It's winter. Kushi-chan gets more days off."**

"You're welcome." Hades said, getting a glare from his naggy sister.

**Naruto shuddered. "Not something I want to think about, Dad."**

**"Aw, you're not happy that your parents are getting back together?" Apollo asked with a frown.**

**"I'm surprised you're not bragging about your nightly activities," Naruto said dryly.**

"He would."

"Sis, I am not that bad!"

Artemis just scoffed.

**Apollo laughed. "Well, once we settle our marriage issues, you might get a little brother or sister."**

**Naruto blinked and stared ahead. "I...I honestly have no response for that."**

"Stunned speechless, ha!" Apollo grinned. He was good.

**"What? You don't want to be a big brother?" Apollo asked.**

**"I'm already a big brother, but I see what you mean," Naruto said. He rubbed his face. "Ugh, alcohol sucks. Why did I agree to go drink with Ares?"**

**"Because you're not that bright?" **

"Zing!" Hermes said.

**Apollo chuckled at his own joke while Naruto groaned. Apollo grinned and drove off, he kept his ride on the street. "I wonder if he or she will be a god or a demigod...What with your mother being an immortal now."**

Zeus made a noise at that, making Apollo roll his eyes. Oh honestly!

**"Well if you remarried her, you could ask Rai-jiji to make her a minor goddess," Naruto said. He groaned and closed his eyes. "Lady Hera might even do something."**

"I would." Hera smiled, anyone who can make Apollo marry was good in her books. Especially if her son was her champion.

**"Oo, yeah, forgot about her reaction," Apollo said with a wince. "I wonder how Hera would react? Pleased? **

"Yes." Hera nodded.

**Displeased? You know how goddesses get when another pretty lady appears on the scene. **

"Like how I did." Aphrodite ran her hand through her hair.

**Dionysus had to bat the old man and a few others away after he made Ariadne his wife. **

Dionysus' eyes turned a blackish purple at that.

**Me? Oh, I stay away from the married ladies. Mom would've killed me, and don't get me started on what Arte would've done."**

**"Whipped."**

"Indeed." Artemis smiled and scratched her brother's ear, "Who's a good boy?" she mock cooed, like she was petting one of her wolves.

"Arte!"

**"Like you're one to talk," Apollo said. "Don't think I didn't see you and Kid Rock's exchange. And all for Thalia, too!" Apollo grinned at him. **

"So sweet, right, Thalia?"

"Shut it, McLean."

**"When are you going to pop the question?"**

Thalia made a strangled noise.

**"We've only been dating for a year," Naruto said with a frown. "And she's technically still a minor."**

Aphrodite scoffed at that, "Nonsense!" she declared.

**"Psh, love is love. Like how I love your mom...Oh, that reminds me. If we have a kid down the line should we go traditional Greek name? Something modern?" Apollo asked. "Or maybe something Oriental..."**

"Traditional." Zeus said.

"Oriental." Hera said, getting a raised brow from her husband, "What? The mother has the right to the name as well, dear."

"Modern is always good." Apollo rubbed his chin.

**"Please don't talk about this," Naruto said with a moan.**

**"No, no, you're literally the only one I can talk to about this! **

"…Hurtful." Hermes pouted at Apollo, who just gave him a shrug.

**Arte would be no help, just constantly berating me, **

"It's in the job description." Artemis nodded.

**and Mom is...well, Mom. Herm is too busy, **

"I can spare a few minutes!"

"Yeah, but I'd hate to interrupt your job." Apollo said, getting an accepting nod from Hermes.

**Heph and Dionysus wouldn't care. **

Both gods just grunted.

**Dite...I would get distracted and conflicted," Apollo said. **

Aphrodite sent Apollo a flirty kiss, getting him to wink back.

**Naruto glared at him and he smiled sheepishly. "What?! Dite...what she used to look like is nothing compared to how she looks now! She looks like your mom only...okay, exactly like your mom."**

"Hm, acceptable." Aphrodite nodded to this.

**"As glad as I am to hear that Aphrodite looks just like Kaachan to you, please stop talking about it," Naruto said.**

"Awkward." Nico said.

**"Humph, and after all that romantic crap last year..." Apollo shook his head. "Kissing her on New Years, **

Thalia's cheeks pinked.

**taking her to the Paris Casino on the day before Valentine's, **

"Quests don't count." Thalia argued.

"Yes they do!" Aphrodite sung with glee.

**dancing at Christmas-"**

**"Which was your fault," Naruto said dryly.**

**Apollo grinned. "I might have taken a few lessons from Eros on how to manipulate a dance between two people."**

Nico scowled at hearing about Cupid, jerk.

**Naruto rolled his eyes. "Wonderful."**

**"However, that night you two spirited away to your penthouse..."**

Thalia's cheeks darkened into a nice shade of red.

**"Don't."**

**"Sure, dad was pissed, but me? I was handing out cigars left and right. **

"What?!" Thalia squea-er, yelped. Yes, yelped.

**And when I told your mother!"**

**"Stop!"**

**"She was so excited. The way she lit up at the thought of grandchildren..." Apollo trailed off with a smile.**

Thalia buried her face in her palms as her fellow demigods were snickering at her.

"Like chapter one."

"McLean, I will shave you bald! I swear!"

"I can just grow it back."

"Grah!"

Nico fist bumped Piper, each grinning.

**"I hate you."**

**"Arte was a bit pissed though. Understandable, considering what you did stole a highly potential Hunter away from her. **

"I would be." Artemis frowned.

**Well, she was mad about that and she said something about being corrupted by me, which I don't get. You're both teenagers with adult minds, it was the only natural response."**

"Thalia's an adult?" Percy blinked in surprise.

"Ha-Ha." The hunter scowled at her fish-brained cousin.

**"With **_**all**_** of my hate."**

"Same." Thalia grumbled.

**"Oh, but that night three weeks after the labyrinth...You forgot to close the windows."**

Thalia looked horrified.

**"Stop the car." **

**"Aw, come on! I won't tell anyone about the spanking! It was kind of kinky."**

"Whoa," Leo said, looking at Thalia who was paling.

"My oh my." Reyna said, looking amused at Thalia.

"It, it could be him!" she sputtered out in a panic. No way she was into that sort of thing!

**"No, seriously, stop the car."**

**"I never saw Thalia as that type of girl, though."**

"Naughty hunter~" Aphrodite giggled, getting a scowl from her rival.

"Silence, harlot."

"Do you spank her when she's been bad, Artemis?"

"…I will skin you alive!" the huntress said dangerously.

"Whoa, sis, easy!" Apollo cried out.

**"Dad...Stop the car."**

"I want to get off this ride." Frank said as he looked nervously at the dangerous hunting goddess.

**"I mean, she always seemed more dominant in person. **

"Zeus always is." Hades said, and turned to Hera, "Is it the same in the bedroom? Or do we have something new to gossip about?"

Hera's cheeks burned red as Zeus was flabbergasted.

**Maybe it's something about you."**

**Naruto doubled over and puked.**

"WHAT!?" Apollo gaped as Artemis stopped her rage and soon exploded into laughter.

**"OH! Come on!"**

**"I told you to stop the ca-blargh!"**

"He did tell you." Hermes nodded as Apollo was crying ichor.

"My chick magnet!"

**"Dammit, Naruto! I just finished picking the interior! Again!"**

"Best chapter. Of all times." Artemis said between her laughs.

"My car!"

"Who's next?" Hazel asked with a giggle.

"Me, me!" Leo begged, he need to read the funny.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Naruto**_** or **_**Percy Jackson and the Olympians**_**.**

**Reading: Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian III: The Argonauts**

**IV**

"Finally," Leo smiled as he began reading.

**"Worst...Day...Ever..." Naruto groaned and ducked his head back into the bucket his father had given him. **

"Ah, the Apollo Bucket." Dionysus nodded, getting a dull glare from his sunny brother.

**They were at a penthouse that Apollo had leased with a cover name in St. Louis. The god of the sun refused to leave his vitakinetic son alone while he was sick, and so decided to call his wife to inform her of the change of plans. Naruto was forced to listen to one side of the conversation, and so far, it didn't look good for his dad.**

"So, basically a typical day in the life." Artemis slyly said.

"Arte!"

**"Yeah, I know, but-! But I promised tonight and-! No, I can keep promises! Another day will do? Uh...Well...Er, yeah, yes I can free another night! Yeah...Yes. I swore I'm gonna take you out, and I will!" Apollo rubbed the back of his neck while he listened to the phone. **

"There there, son." Zeus smirked at him, getting a whine from the sun god.

"You shouldn't sound so high and mighty," Hera stated to her husband, getting a frown (pout) out of the god.

**"Kushi-chan, can't you just tell me why you can't make it tonight? ...Well, because I can't make it either! Why? Uh...Hold on a sec, sweetie." He covered the transmitter with his hand and looked at his son. "Hey, if you had to cancel on Thalia and couldn't tell her exactly why for fear of her storming over and ripping you a new one, what would you say?"**

"Really, asking your son for advice?" Hermes asked his brother.

"I suck at lying!" Apollo threw his arms in the air.

**Naruto coughed into the bucket and groaned. "I'd tell her that Bianca wasn't looking too good."**

"That's a limited excuse." Thalia frowned.

**"Ah, that's a good one!" Apollo said with a nod. He sighed. "...She doesn't buy it, does she?"**

"No." Thalia scoffed.

**"Not usually. Just tell Kaachan that you wanted a guys night with me," Naruto said with a groan.**

"Smart." Leo nodded.

"That only gets you so far," Piper stated with crossed arms, making the guys look nervous.

**Apollo shuddered. "Truth it is." He uncovered the transmitter. "Sorry, Kushi-chan. Naruto's sick and-No! No, I've got it! No! I didn't take him to the red light district! **

"She knows you well." Artemis commented light, making her brother groan.

"Can you stop picking on me?!"

"…No."

Apollo just pouted like a little kid with crossed arms and hunched shoulders.

**You kidding me? I'm not that stupid...Yeah, he just went drinking with Ares. ...Kushi-chan, I swear on my mother's life that's the truth. **

"And I don't do that lightly." The sun god nodded.

**Yeah. Yeah. Okay...It wasn't exactly his fault...Well, what's he going to do, say no to the god of war? Okay, up, tunnel! Loosing you..Krsh, Kush-I-Gsh-ove yo-!"**

"…Seriously?" Hermes asked him with a raised brow.

Apollo shrunk with everyone's gave on him, "Stop judging me!"

**Apollo hung the cordless phone up while Naruto shook his head. That was a dumb move, but sometimes there are just some things that can't be avoided. The god dragged his hand down his face with a groan. "Man, I suck at lying. Kushi-chan's going to skin me alive."**

**"Preaching to the choi-blargh." **

"And this is why I'd probably ever drink." Percy winced, gross.

"Don't knock it until you try it." Mr. D sniffed at him.

**Naruto's head dipped back into the bucket in his hands. With a final cough, Naruto leaned back and groaned again. "Why am I puking?!"**

**"Well, it could be a number of things," Apollo said. "How much did you and Ares drink?"**

**"Uh...twelve each," Naruto said. **

Dionysus snorted, "Baby."

**He closed his eyes and sighed. "Puking sucks."**

"I ate too much McDonalds once…not fun," Nico sighed.

**"Wouldn't know," Apollo said. He had manifested a notebook and wrote down a few things while he frowned. "Only twelve? That's not a lot for a god..."**

**Naruto looked at him dryly. "Not one hundred percent god."**

**"Not yet, anyway," Apollo said under his breath.**

"Oh, right, that thing." Percy nodded.

"That thing?" Annabeth asked with a raised brow, "You mean Immortality."

"Yeah. That thing."

Annabeth just shook her head.

**"What was that?"**

**"Nothing. What was the alcohol count?"**

**"Hell if I know..."**

**"**_**Actually it was like twenty-nine percent,"**_** Helios said.**

"Meh." The wine god brushed off.

**Naruto closed his eyes. "And just how do you know that?"**

**"**_**I get bored too. Why do you think I watched you and Thalia have sex? ...Aside from the obvious, of course."**_** Helios snickered while his incarnation groaned.**

"What?!" Thalia snapped with a red face, ugh, just what she needed. Everyone snickered at her. Oh, she'd get them back alright. Just they wait!

_**"You two would really benefit from couples' yoga, well Thalia would at least. Maybe then she'd be able to keep up."**_

"Oh snap!" Leo gaped as Thalia's entire body was red.

"Huh, and here I thought Zeus' virility was hereditary." Hades stated casually.

The King of the Gods glared at his brother while Piper flushed at the statement. Jason was looking somewhat red as well.

**While Naruto spluttered, Apollo gave his son a quizzical look. "How do I know-Oh, you're talking to Helios again. Hey, Hel!"**

**"**_**Apollo! My brother from literally another mother!"**_

Apollo was all smiles, Hel was awesome!

"Ugh," Artemis gave an insufferable sigh, palming her face. She wished she had Selene to back her up.

**"Helios says hi," Naruto said, with a roll of his eyes.**

**"**_**Wow, make it sound like I don't miss him that much..."**_

**"Just a 'hi'?" Apollo pouted. "Wow, death really does make you bland."**

"You have no idea." Hades and Nico deadpanned as one.

"…That's scary." Hazel said, looking at her father and brother.

**"**_**Oh, I will so kick your ass for that! Bland!? I'm the embodiment of awesome wrapped in hot golden goodness!"**_

"The parallels are scary." Thalia muttered, glancing at Apollo with concern.

**"Shut up!" Naruto doubled over and released another pound of fluids. With yet another groan, he sat back once he was done and scowled at nothing in particular. "You're both too loud."**

"That's what she said." Ares grinned, getting scowls from the goddesses.

**"**_**I'll be as loud as I want, thank you very much! Bland! Of all the..."**_** Helios deviated into a spiel of grumbles.**

**"Do you want me to leave so you two can fight?" Apollo asked with a smile.**

**"Shut up and heal me," Naruto said with a glower.**

"Do your job, White Mage." Hermes grinned.

"Hey," Apollo pointed at him with a serious face, "no one messes with a white mage."

"Except Aerith." Piper stated.

Apollo slumped, "Poor, poor Aerith."

**Apollo snapped his notebook shut and shrugged. "Not my scene. You got alcohol-poisoning, kiddo. And considering that's mostly in D's jurisdiction..."**

**Naruto's face lost whatever color remained. "No..."**

"Yes…" Mr. D smiled, sipping his diet coke maniacally.

**Apollo chuckled. "Yeah, I could ring him up if you want."**

"I like would honestly help that brat." The wine god scoffed.

**"Can't you do something!?" Naruto looked at his father pleadingly. Dionysus would probably make it worse if he had any say in the matter. "It's still poisoning, right?"**

**"Of the alcohol variety. Sorry, Fishcake, nothing I can do," Apollo said with a shrug. He scratched his chin and willed the notebook away. "I do find it interesting that you're unable to heal it yourself. Your vitakinesis should take the brunt of it away..."**

"True," Apollo rubbed his chin in thought.

**"Can't you amp it or something?" Naruto moaned in pain as another wave of nausea hit him.**

**Apollo scratched his head. "Maybe...Oh, I'll call Asclepius! He loves this sort of thing more than I do."**

**He whipped out his phone before Naruto could stop him. With a sigh, Naruto rested his head on the edge of his bin. "Joy...Asclepius..."**

**"**_**Oh come on. You've never met Asclepius,"**_** Helios said. He still sounded a bit bitter.**

**"He's a doctor," Naruto said. He shuddered. "Doctors are scary."**

"Poor baby." Percy grinned, water healing was the best power ever.

Annabeth rolled her eyes.

**"**_**...Scary as in piss yourself or scary as in overbearing and irritating?"**_

**"Scary as in they usually cause me physical pain on the grounds of making me, quote, 'better'," Naruto said. **

"I question the medical malpractice of ninjas." Reyna dryly said.

"I hear you." Frank nodded in agreement.

**He shivered at memories of Sakura's medicinal trials with him as the subject – damn those horrible excuses for chakra replenish pills to the pits of Tartarus – and Tsunade...Well, if he escaped she made sure he stayed put. Usually with a busted jaw from an 'accidental' overpowered punch.**

"That's ridiculous." Piper said dryly. Seriously, these ninja girls were weird.

**"He'll be here in a bit," Apollo said with a grin as he hung up the phone. He noticed the sour look on Naruto's face and nodded. "Don't worry, Fishcake-"**

**"Dammit, stop calling me that!"**

**"Asclepius is the best doctor in the family, surpassing me in his skills, which he got from yours truly, of course." Apollo buffed his nails on his chest as he boasted about his favorite godly son.**

"Here we go again," Hermes sighed.

"What? He rocks like his daddy!"

**"Wasn't he a student of Chiron's?" Naruto asked dryly.**

**"The keyword there is student, Chiron buffed him out. Like Kakashi and Jiraiya did to you. All the badass talent came from me."**

I agree with this." Zeus nodded.

"Of course you would." Poseidon told him dryly.

"I think I'm pretty badass." Percy commented, looking at his dad with a grin.

Poseidon just winked at him.

**"Mom would beg to differ..."**

**"This is true..." Apollo rubbed his chin and frowned. He snapped his fingers with a grin on his face. "I guess this means you're twice the badass!"**

"All those with awesome moms are twice the badass." Leo declared, getting nods from Frank, Percy, Piper, Annabeth, and Reyna. "hey hey, mortal parents only." He stated with a look.

"That's not fair." Annabeth frowned.

"Tough cookies."

**"Yay me. Badass and doubled ov-Uh!"**

**"Gross...Why did I choose to be the god of medicine again?" Apollo hummed before he nodded. "Right, had a vision of McSteamy and McDreamy."**

"Ooh la la." Aphrodite smiled saucily.

**"**_**Oh, right, he doesn't discriminate..."**_

"Still don't." Apollo shrugged.

_**That's EXACTLY what I want to hear right now,**_** Naruto thought with an unseen glare at his past life.**

"Double puke." Ares blanched.

"Hmph!" Aphrodite huffed at her boyfriend, honestly, he could so a bit more respect.

**"**_**I dunno, maybe your mom likes it."**_

_**Shut up!**_

**There was a knock at the door and Apollo beamed. "There he is!"**

**"Excuse me while I show my elation," Naruto said before he doubled over into his bin again.**

"You'd think he'd be empty by now." Hazel whispered to her boyfriend.

"Right?" the shape-shifter said.

**Apollo ignored the sound of his current favorite demigod in favor of greeting his favorite godly son. A youthful man walked in, dressed like one would expect a stereotypical doctor. His hair looked like it was designed after Mr. Fantastic, and his eyes were just as blue as his father's. A small neatly trimmed beard was on his chin and on the end of his nose was a small pair of glasses. He had a bag over his shoulders and a black staff with a live green python coiled around it.**

"Copy Right Infringement!" Hermes cried out.

"I gave you your Caduceus, you can't call that out on my kid." Apollo stated smugly.

"…We'll just see in court!" Hermes countered weakly.

**Apollo glared at the python, who hissed and shrunk under his gaze. The man gave an apology and willed the staff to change into a small pin that he placed on his coat's lapel. With the serpent gone, the Sauroktonos beamed a smile and embraced his immortal son. "Ask!"**

"What?" Hermes said back.

"You know that's his nickname."

"A terrible one." Hades confirmed.

"I could think of a few worse ones." The war god added.

**"Father," the man said with a smile as he returned the hug. "Always good to see you."**

"The only polite one." Artemis stated with a smile.

**"So stuffy," Apollo said with a frown. He looked at Naruto. "Well, at least I know which of you is the **_**fun**_** one."**

"Party at his place!" Leo declared.

"Whoo." Nico said.

"…Dude, liven up."

Nico just glared at the pyro.

**Asclepius chuckled and approached the blond. "Perhaps. We've never truly met before, have we?"**

**"No," Naruto said with a groan. He offered his hand. "Naruto Uzumaki, Heir of Helios."**

**"And I am Asclepius, god of health, rejuvenation and medicine." The hand clasped around Naruto's and after a gentleman's shake, retracted. Asclepius pulled the bin away from Naruto. "The aroma isn't helping with your vomiting."**

"And Apollo couldn't have suggested that?" Annabeth asked.

"Uuuh," Apollo said.

**"The alcohol-poisoning isn't that great either," Naruto said dryly.**

**Asclepius hummed and swung his bag around. He dug through it with one hand and pulled out a flashlight. The light was shone in Naruto's eye and the demigod didn't blink. "Remarkable...your eyesight is without a doubt the best of all mortals' on the planet."**

**"Well, duh," Apollo said with a smirk.**

Apollo puffed up.

"Wait for it." Athena smiled.

**"Most likely because of Helios' presence."**

**Apollo's shoulders fell and he pouted. "Aw, hurtful."**

"There we are." Artemis smiled as the sisters gleamed at each other.

"I hate when they work together." Apollo muttered.

**"And quite possibly genetics," Asclepius said with a small smile to his father, who inflated with pride.**

"Like a roller coaster." Percy stated with a snicker.

**Naruto grinned lightly. "Yeah, my mom has great eyes for detail."**

**Apollo deflated once again. "That was on purpose..."**

"Would you like some Viagra?" Hermes asked his brother.

"…You are all kinds of suck, you know that?"

"Love you too, Apollo."

**Asclepius chuckled again and reached into his bag. He pulled out several vials and took them with him to the kitchen, where he grabbed a glass and filled it halfway with water. After a minute of him mixing the vials' contents into the glass, he came back to Naruto's side with a glass of golden liquid.**

**"Oo, what's that?" Apollo asked, intrigued.**

**"A trick I learned in my quest to cure death," Asclepius said **

"Which he shouldn't have!" Hades ranted.

"Hey, he paid the price!" Apollo shot back.

"And was later rewarded with godhood." Hades snidely retorted. So not fair!

"I made sure he couldn't do it again," Zeus told his brother, only for Hades to scoff at him in a 'Whatever' manner.

**as Naruto took the glass and looked at it oddly. "Quite a few men were prone to die from overindulgence of Dionysus' drinks. This little drink is the ultimate hangover cure."**

"Hmph!" Dionysus pouted, so cheat.

**"Side effects?" Apollo asked while Naruto sniffed it.**

**"None...well, none that made themselves known to men," Asclepius said. He looked at Naruto intently. "I am curious what effect it will have on you, brother."**

"Ah, the guinea pig." Athena surmised.

**Naruto shrugged. "Over the teeth, past the gums, look out stomach, here it comes."**

**Apollo snickered. "That sounds dirty."**

Artemis just slapped Apollo's arm out of reflex.

"Hey!"

**While Asclepius palmed his face, Naruto glared heatedly at his father before he drank the golden drink to the last drop. His tan returned to the healthy sheen it was once before and his stomach settled immediately. **

"Aww." Dionysus whined, he wanted to see the boy suffer.

**Naruto dropped the glass, shot up from the couch and proceeded to run around so fast he left after images in places he had been.**

"That's my shtick!" Hermes cried out once more. Seriously, he was the thief here!

**"Huh...look at him go," Asclepius said, amazed.**

**"I didn't know a demigod could run that fast," Apollo said, equally impressed. He pulled his phone out and started to record the sight. "Herm's never going to believe this. Might even claim him as a champion."**

"I'd love too." Hermes said.

"He's taken." Hera sniffed.

**Asclepius looked at his father. "Did Lady Hera not already?"**

**"Meh, the more he gets the closer he is to godly-hood. Mom's getting antsy for immortal grandkids now that she knows I'm hitched," Apollo said with a shrug. **

"Not like Arte'll ever give her any."

"Apollo!" Artemis frowned at him, but he just stuck his tongue at her.

All in good payback.

**"All she's had for the past century were you, Aristaeus and Hymen. Hopefully Naruto could calm her down."**

**Asclepius hummed in thought. "The one thing I could never find an answer to, the mind of a female, be her immortal or not."**

"You never will." The females in the room smiled.

**"I hear you, Ask. I hear you."**

**Naruto popped up between them. "Let's-get-some-more-and-go-out-for-jello-shots! Imma-call-up-Lia-chan-and-ask-if-she-wants-to-join. First-I-should-probs-ask-Rai-jiji. He's-so-uptight! Needs-to-get-laid-again! Maybe-not-with-a-mortal-though. Lady-Hera-wouldn't-like-that."**

"What?" Everyone, besides Hermes, asked.

**"What?" Asclepius asked, bewildered.**

"Exactly." Leo nodded.

"I heard Jell-O shots." Dionysus claimed.

**"Hang on, I got this. I can sort of speak Hermes' 'Gibberush'," Apollo said. He cleared his throat. "Naruto. Slow-down-a-bit. You-are-talking-too-fast."**

**"You're-talking-too-slow! Like-a-turtle! Like-Gai-sensei's-turtle. Come-to-think-of-it-where-did-sensei-get-that-turtle?" Naruto tilted his head to the side in thought. "Bunta-never-talked-about-a-turtle-summon. Jiraiya-either."**

"Turtles are cool." Percy smiled.

"You mean Ninja Turtles." Frank said to him.

"Duh."

**"The-turtle-clan-are-reclusive-and-hard-to-find. Sort-of-like-spotting-a-lady. Not-hard-for-me-but-most-mortals-would-have-an-issue," Apollo said. He shook his head. They were getting off topic, a common issue when one spoke Gibberush. "Naruto. Look-at-me."**

**Naruto's head turned so fast it looked to Asclepius (who was a god, mind you) that his brother had spontaneously sprouted a second head. **

"That's got to be so cool." Piper admitted, she wanted super speed.

**The doctor, fascinated, reached out and ran his hand through the after-image. Asclepius beamed and reached into his satchel. He pulled a notebook out and began to write excitedly in it.**

"And this is why I enjoy talking to Asclepius, it's nice to have an intellectual to converse with." Athena smiled at her nephew.

**While this occurred, Apollo held his son's gaze. "You're-moving-too-fast. Bordering-Herm's-lowest-high-speed."**

Hermes snorted, "He wishes."

**"Like-a-flash?" Naruto asked with his head tilted in thought. He idly imagined himself in a crimson outfit. He shrugged, it seemed okay. Another image popped up, one with him dressed in a red and blue outfit with a singular bolt of lightning going up his right leg and across his chest. It was similar to the golden age Jay Garrick's and along with the costume, he thought of a silver helmet that looked more like it came from NASCAR rather than WWI.**

"Classics for life!" the messenger god cried out.

"That's pretty slick looking." Leo commented.

"Ditto." Piper nodded, she glanced at Jason a little, who shifted in his seat a little.

_**Ooo, I like that. Sleek, formfitting and modern,**_** Naruto thought absently. He might have to drop off that idea to his great-times-whatever-nephew Trevor Scott. The artist was a huge comic fan and would probably salivate at the prospect of bringing the idea to life.**

"Bet other Thalia will like that," Annabeth commented.

"And you'd like Wethead dressed in tights too." Thalia countered, getting Annabeth to pink and Percy to turn green.

**All of this thought took place in less than two seconds.**

"I do business well." Hermes buffed his nails on his jacket.

**"Focus. You-need-to-slow-down." Apollo grabbed his shoulders and stilled him. "Ask-can't-understand-us. We're-speaking-too-fast-for-him-to-follow."**

**"And-a-doctor-not-understanding-me-is-bad-because-why?"**

"Point to the brat." Ares grinned.

**Apollo whacked him on the side of the head. "Idiot. If-a-god-can't-understand-you-how-do-you-expect-a-demigod-like-Thalia-to?"**

"Or keep up."

"Leo!" Jason glared at the snickering elf.

**"Oh-yeah," Naruto said as he hardly registered the blow. His mind raced to all the possibilities and he frowned. Thalia definitely wouldn't like it if he spoke too fast, and he wouldn't like it if Thalia spoke too slowly. **

"IIIIIIIII kkkknnnnnoooooowwwwww." Percy said slowly, "Like that." He grinned at Thalia, who just glared at him.

"Stop it." Annabeth pushed him with a laugh.

**The blond looked to his father. "How-do-I-slow-down?"**

**Apollo blinked and released him. He tapped his chin. "Huh, that's a good point."**

Everyone turned to Hermes.

The god in question huffed, "Trade secret."

**"What did he say?" Asclepius asked, intrigued by the whole situation. He had never seen anything like this before, and his previous meetings with Hermes had never allowed him to see how a boost of speed could affect these simple actions like speech or movement. Perhaps he should call the messenger in for a checkup. **

"No way in Tartarus!" Hermes shouted.

**Come to think of it, if he did that he could possibly discern how the other Olympians' domains affect their physiology...**

**Yes, Hermes would be called in once he was finished here.**

The winged-shoe messenger just gulped. He did not like the sound of that.

"The runt on a dissection table?" Ares asked, "I'd pay to see that."

"Screw you, Warhead!"

**"Fishcake doesn't know how to slow down," Apollo said. He thought about a potential dirty joke that could follow that statement, but (surprisingly) decided against saying it. **

"…Miracles are possible." Artemis said with awe.

**Instead, the god of the sun turned to his favorite immortal son and asked, "Any ideas?"**

**Asclepius wrote down another note before he tapped Naruto's shoulder and got his brother's attention. "Can you understand me?"**

**"Yes-geez-that-took-forever-just-spit-it-out!" Naruto crossed his arms and tapped his foot so fast the carpet started to smoke.**

"Huh, so that's what I look like." Hermes rubbed his chin. Well, this gave him a new perspective.

"The Stolls can't do that, right?" Percy asked Annabeth. She shook her head, making Percy give a sigh of relief.

**Apollo whacked him again to make him stop, but then suddenly flinched. A hand went to the back of the sun god's head and he glared at the young shinobi. "Hey! Don't hit your father!"**

"Exactly, only we get to hit you brats." Ares nodded.

The parents just gave him sour looks.

**"Speak-faster!" Naruto now had his hands on his hips and had completely turned away from Asclepius.**

**The god of health wrote the reaction time for sound and touch before he looked at his father. "Naruto is moving so fast that he has created a small barrier of light around him–"**

**"Hence the afterimages and the 'flash'," Apollo said with a nod.**

"Light illusions, I love those things." Apollo grinned as two more of him were next to him.

"Sweet Order." Artemis shook her head.

**"Correct," Asclepius said. He turned his notebook around and showed it to the god, a finger pointed at a particular formula written in Ancient Greek. "Because of this chemical, I believe, Naruto has simply found a way to tap into a hidden gene you obtained when you took Helios' chariot–"**

**"The Chick Magnet." **_**"The Chick Magnet."**_

"It's not going to catch on." Zeus commented, getting Apollo to snort in disagreement.

**"Yes, that. I've theorized that our godly bodies could be broken down atomically, but until now I don't know how it could be done exactly. Now, and this is just another theory, but I believe that our domains affect our genetic makeup. Why if Lord Zeus can manipulate clouds, Lord Hades can't? **

"Because Sky God." Zeus stated firmly.

"Whoo, clouds." Hades rolled his eyes.

**And due to his status as King of Gods, shouldn't Lord Zeus hold power over all our domains? Why doesn't he?"**

"We'd chain him up again." Most of the gods said, getting a thunderous glare from Zeus.

**"Because all of Olympus would turn on him if he tried?" Apollo said, though he sounded unsure of that. It was hard to imagine Zeus as anything other than the Lightning God.**

"God of Theater." Poseidon smirked, getting snickers.

"Oh ha ha." Zeus laughed dryly.

**"I believe it's physically impossible for him to do so."**

**Apollo arched a brow. "He can move my chariot."**

**"Not entirely," Asclepius said. "He can send a wind spirit to drive it. He can't move your chariot through sheer will. Nor can he actually move the other stars in the expanded galaxy..."**

"Yes, we are limited nowadays." Hades commented lightly, getting a few forced nods.

**Throughout it all, Asclepius grew more excited as he explained his new theory to his father.**

**Apollo, however, didn't look as thrilled. "So, you're using Mortal science to discern how we exist?"**

"Booo!" Ares cheered.

"Oh be silent you Neanderthal." Athena sniffed, she was actually interested.

**Asclepius frowned. "Father..."**

**Apollo held up a hand. "If you go to Athena or Hephaestus, they wouldn't bat an eye. But if you went to Dionysus or Zeus and tried to explain this, you might wind up back in the underworld, or worse."**

"Forced mortal labor." Apollo and Poseidon shuddered as one.

**"Of course...but I'm sure Lady Athena will back my studies..." Asclepius rubbed his chin. "Perhaps she'll help me corral Hermes into an examination room..."**

Hermes looked at the smiling Athena, making him sink into his throne.

Doctors were officially evil. Sisters too.

**"See!? Doctors-are-bad!" Naruto said. He had overheard the extremely **_**long**_** speech at a rate faster than normal humans would. So after he was bored to death and revived by the end of the speech, he was shaken from his thoughts about different flavors of ramen as he heard the god of health talk to himself under his breath. Naruto grabbed his father's arm. "Tell-him-to-stop-thinking-about-dissections-and-fix-me. Without-a-dissection!"**

"I'm with the kid." The pale faced Hermes said.

**"Right, right," Apollo said as he waved off Naruto's concern. "So, how do we help your brother?"**

**"Hm? Oh, right! Sorry," Asclepius said apologetically to Naruto, who now glared at the older man warily. The god of health looked back to his father. "Naruto just has to burn off all the excess energy."**

"I know!" Aphrodite beamed, getting Thalia to blanch.

"Without sounding dirty." Artemis told her.

"Bah, you ruin all the fun." The love goddess huffed.

"Save me." Thalia muttered.

"There there." Annabeth patted her shoulder.

**Apollo nodded. "Ahh, I see. Any suggestions how?"**

**"Well..." Asclepius' eyes glazed over as he sifted through his internal Rolodex and went through the possible ways they could do that. "I suppose we either let him run loose in the street–"**

**"Oh yeah, and risk losing him? No thanks," Apollo said with a shiver. If he did that and Kushina found out he lost sight of their previously sick son, he'd **_**never**_** get off the couch.**

Zeus sent his son a sympathetic look.

**"We could take him to a broth-Ow!" **

Artemis just palmed her face, wonderful, her one good nephew and even he was a pervert like his father.

**Asclepius rubbed his arm where Naruto had hit him. The god of health frowned at his brother. "That was uncalled for, Naruto."**

**"Hera-would-kill-me!**

Hera nodded.

_**Thalia**_**-would-kill-me!" **

Thalia nodded.

**Naruto donned a haunted look. "Worse-Mom-would-find-out! And-she-would-kill-me!"**

**Apollo shivered again.**

Percy smiled, he liked a scared Naruto.

Annabeth just shook her head at her boyfriend.

**"Alright, so, not that," Asclepius said. He rubbed his chin and then snapped his fingers. "I've got it! Let him fight some monsters!"**

**"I'm-not-a-gladiator-for-your-amusement!" Naruto glared daggers at the minor god.**

"Nah, you are!" Mr. D proclaimed, a giddy look on his face. Oh, how he loved gladiators.

**"No, but you are for mine," Apollo said with a smirk. He wrapped an arm around Naruto's neck and pointed dramatically to the roof. "To the Chick Mobile!"**

**The 'Batman' transition played **

"…That is so boss." Leo grinned, he so needed to do that!

"Oh boy." Piper palmed her face. Jason just chuckled a little, it sounded cool to him.

**and both sons of the sun god looked at their father dryly.**

**"Really?" they asked, though one was faster than the other.**

**"It was absolutely necessary." Apollo nodded sagely.**

"Agreed." Most of the guys said with nods.

**The minor god and the demigod shared a look. Both wondered just how (and sometimes why) they were related to the 'god of ego'.**

"I thought that was Zeus?" Hades asked.

"It's an easy mix up." Poseidon told his brother.

"Ah." Hades dawned a look of understanding.

Zeus just started to crackle with static.

**Apollo led the two to the balcony, where he parked his chariot. After he decided on what convertible he wanted to drive, the god of the sun hopped the fence and landed in the driver's seat with a laid back grin. **

"Just like Batman." Frank said with a smile.

"Damn right." The sun god nodded with a grin.

**"So, are we all ready to have fun now?"**

**Naruto's transition from the balcony to the backseat was played out by his afterimages. It was a simple one-handed vault over the dark railing that surrounded the barrier, but thanks to his light barrier, there were a total of four after images that acted like an instructional image.**

"Huh, that's cool." Annabeth said, it was somewhat fascinating.

**Asclepius simply floated over the railing and sat down in the passenger's seat.**

**"Aw, c'mon Ask, be a little more fun than that." Apollo frowned **

"Stick in the family?" Nico asked.

"Ugh, like you wouldn't believe." Apollo grimaced.

**while Naruto tapped his fingers so fast they blurred.**

**"Let's-go-let's-go-let's-go!"**

**"Hold your sandals, speed racer, gotta find the right tunes," Apollo said with a wave of his hand. Asclepius shook his head and put his bag on the floor at his feet.**

**"You do know that listening to music while driving is one of the leading causes of distracted accidents, right?" he asked his father.**

"He's like a damp rag." Percy said with a confused look, hard to believe he's a son of Apollo.

**Apollo gave him a raspberry. "I've been driving like this for millennia. Not a single accident yet!"**

"Amazingly true," Artemis noted with a dull tone.

"Yeah, the sun crashing would be something people would notice." Thalia noted.

"Like a shooting star." Leo said in wonder.

**"Thank Zeus for that," Asclepius said with a sigh. The death toll for his father's chariot crashing would be catastrophic.**

**"Bah, he hasn't driven a car since the Model T Ford came out," Apollo said. **

"I have too." Zeus frowned.

Apollo snorted, "Okay." He dismissed his father.

Zeus just frowned further.

**He grinned. "Here we go! Haddaway's 'What Is Love?' is perfect!"**

"Duuuude." Leo, Percy, and Frank said, bobbing their heads as one. Apollo and Hermes joining them.

**"Ah, the Roxbury skit," Asclepius said with a smile. He lightly bobbed his head in time with the music. "One of the best things mortals made."**

**"Hilarious, too. That Stallone one? A riot," Apollo said as he bobbed his head with a silly grin on his face.**

**"Carrey's-was-best!" **

"Amen to that!" Hermes grinned.

**Naruto joined his divine brother and father as they drove off, surprisingly he kept in time with their head bobs. They drove around for a few moments until the song ended. Naruto frowned. "Aw...Dust-on-the-CD?"**

**"Nope, song's over, kiddo," Apollo said. A guitar started to strum fast and he grinned. "Yeah, staple of the nineties."**

**"Sum-41-rocks!" Naruto said. "I'm-a-disaster!"**

"Ah, the classics." Thalia sighed out.

"You sound so old."

"Shut it, Wethead."

**"A microphone master!"**

**"Put-on-the-tap-and-!"**

**"Rock! I'll ghetto blast ya!"**

Thalia was bobbing her head as Jason just shook his head at her actions, he'd never understand his sister.

**Asclepius shook his head as the father and son continued to sing along with the radio. It was good to see them get along, but to be honest, he was more of a classic's fan himself. There was something about strings that made him feel at ease.**

"Boo!" Thalia cheered.

"I enjoy them." Athena stated to her sister.

"You would." Ares said with distaste.

"It's cultural."

"It's a borefest."

**About halfway through the song, Naruto suddenly stopped and looked around. "Hey-I-feel-a-ping!"**

**"A ping?" Apollo asked as he turned the music down. "Naruto, you're twenty-four, you should know that feeling by now."**

The demigods snickered at that along with the more immature gods.

**Naruto glared at him. "Not-that-kind-of-ping-dickwaffle! **

"Yeah you dickwaffle." Ares jeered at Apollo. Huh, he liked that one. He was going to keep it.

**A-ping-of-chakra!"**

**"Really?" Asclepius asked, intrigued, while Apollo looked put out at the name his son called him. He wanted to know more about the chakra network that his father had told him about, but Apollo was hesitant to give out the information. Most likely due to the fact that it was something he knew that Athena did not, something he could lord over her for a few decades.**

Athena scowled at her brother, making Apollo raise his nose in the air with superiority.

You can't usually get away with saying you know something Athena didn't, but it was a hell of an ego boost.

**"Yep! That-a-way!" Naruto pointed to the right, just beyond a few tall buildings.**

**"Cool! Maybe Kaka-baka is out exploring!" Apollo said with a grin. He loved messing with Kakashi when the then ten-year-old jonin had joined his squad. The little punk was all about rules and regulations and even as Minato, the god lived to bend or break rules.**

**Especially if it meant getting on Kushina's good side.**

"But of course." Artemis shook her head.

"Apollo is a good boy."

"…That'll never catch on." Hermes dully noted.

"Bah, it's totally a thing!"

**"A-spar-with-Kakashi-sensei-would-help-me-burn-energy!" Naruto beamed at the thought of sparring with his sensei.**

**"We could bet for the mask!" Apollo grinned.**

**"Perhaps I could get a look at his implanted Sharingan," Asclepius said. "Rin was a medical genius in her own right, a shame she chose to die."**

**"Yeah, that sucked. Not only did it put Kaka-baka in a funk forever, but Rin was a cutie," Apollo said with a frown. The two sons gave him a dry stare and he shrugged. "I call 'em like I see 'em."**

"Your own student." Athena said with an appalled look.

"Oh please, like you never mind mashed with a guy you taught at a college." Apollo scoffed, actually getting Athena's cheeks to pink, "Ha! I knew it!"

"Silence!" Athena cracked like a whip.

**"...I'm-telling-Kaachan."**

**"You little-Whoa!" Apollo swerved to avoid the Drakon that flew right at them. "What the-? Little bugger tried to scratch my ride!"**

"That looks familiar." Thalia hummed.

**"More like he was attempting to flee the energies of two gods, father," Asclepius said.**

**"That's-the-Drakon-Lia-chan-tagged!" Naruto pointed at it. "It-was-spying-on-us-for-the-Crooked-Asshole!"**

"Oh. Right. Yeah." The hunter nodded.

**"Well, looks like it's Drakon season," Apollo said with a grin. **

"Wabbit season!" Leo declared.

"Dwakon season!" Percy declared back as they snickered.

"Mature." Nico rolled his eyes.

"Lighten up dude."

"…"

**He shifted the gears and drove after the beast. They followed it through the air for a good fifteen minutes before Apollo had enough and looked at his demigod son.**

**"Clip the wings," he said.**

**Naruto grinned and reached into his pocket, where he pulled out a scroll. It unrolled across his lap with various different symbols drawn on it. Asclepius watched, intrigued, as his younger half-brother bit down and broke the skin on his thumb and swiped the blood – which surprised him at the amount for a wound so small **

"He might want to see a doctor about that." Percy said, getting a dry laugh from Apollo.

– **across one of the symbols. A cloud of smoke exploded from the symbol – a seal if Asclepius recalled correctly – and once it cleared, he saw that a golden bow now laid on his brother's lap. Naruto flicked his wrist and the scroll rolled itself back up, afterwards it was tucked away with ease.**

**"My...It's like my bag, only not divine in design," Asclepius said with a small amount of praise. Naruto grinned at him and drew the bow back. The suns in his eyes brightened and an arrow of light appeared.**

**"Copycat!"**

"Heh, I find it fitting." Artemsi smirked as her brother pouted. Only they usually got to do that. But no! His son just had to copy him.

**"Imitation-is-a-form-of-flattery!" Naruto frowned at his father. **

"Good point." The sun god conceded.

**Apollo shrugged it off and kept a good distance between themselves and the Drakon.**

**"You may fire when ready," he said to the shinobi.**

"Yes captain, my captain!" Leo saluted with pride.

**Naruto nodded and released the string. The arrow shot off and impacted with the Drakon's wing. The beast roared and went into a dive. **

Ares made an airplane going down sound and then a splat, laughing cruelly. Ah, the pain of others.

**Apollo grinned and drove down after it as it crashed into the park.**

"Better not be a national park," Artemis stated firmly.

"I'm sure it wasn't." Apollo said with a nervous look, hoping it wasn't.

**"Nice shot," Asclepius said.**

**"Thanks!"**

**Apollo parked the car and Naruto was the first to hop out, his bow collapsed and locked in place behind him. He shot off and ran at the Drakon, where it struggled with its bat-like wing to get back in the air. The Drakon turned and glared at him, a roar given in an effort to deter him from his approach. Naruto paid it no mind and let a Taiyoton: Rasengan form in either hand.**

**"Let's-party!" The demigod charged forward in a stream of light.**

**Apollo watched from where he sat on the hood of his car, a bowl of popcorn in his lap. "Nice! Applying solar energies to the Rasengan, brilliant!"**

"Takes after his father of course." Apollo beamed brightly.

"Ugh," Hades groaned at the sight, "Dim down, nephew."

Apollo pouted and did so, "Fiiine."

**"Indeed," Asclepius said as he took a piece of popcorn for himself. "However, even his body can't handle that much heat for too long. There's a limit to a demigod's resistance, after all."**

**"Psh, tell that to Uncle P and Perce," Apollo said as he popped a handful in his mouth.**

The son and father of the sea smiled at each other.

**"Well, from what I hear, Percy Jackson is an adept with his hydrokinesis," Asclepius said. He took another piece of popcorn as Naruto ducked under the Drakon's tail. "The temperature of the water could still very well kill him if he isn't careful. And let's not forget the water of the Underworld, that could easily affect him as well."**

**"Yeah, and it's not like he can shake the earth either, so he's got that going against him," Apollo said. **

"Tell that to that volcano."

"Didn't you let Typhon out?" Piper asked Percy, getting the Savior of Olympus to turn his head.

"Er…"

Annabeth sighed, "Such a Seaweed Brain."

Percy just gave an epic pout.

**He sighed and picked another piece of popcorn. "He's got Uncle P's determination though. And if what Athena says is true, he's got that loyalty thing as his Fatal Flaw."**

"The town gossip." Poseidon snorted.

"Oh please," Athena scoffed at him, "I was merely stating the truth."

"And that's all that matters." Apollo smiled.

**"Personal Loyalty, yes to put one in danger above all others," Asclepius said. "And Naruto's is similar, correct?"**

**Apollo watched Naruto with a frown as his son drove one of the Rasengan into the Drakon's side. "Desire of Acknowledgement and Excessive Selflessness."**

"Double fatal flaw, ouch." Jason winced, he felt for the guy.

"So basically recognition?" Hera asked with an arched brow.

"Seems so." Athena mused.

**"Really?" Asclepius asked with an arched brow. That was a strange pair if he'd ever heard it. To be acknowledged for one's actions and yet be so giving at the same time...**

**"When he was growing up, Naruto was shunned by the village of Konoha," Apollo said. "He had very few friends and when he did get them, they often belittled him due to his immaturity and childish behaviors."**

**"Which must have been amplified due to a lack of a parental figure," Asclepius said.**

"Not my fault!" Apollo cried out at the looks he got. So he stuck a demon in his kid, Poseidon had Percy do the Great Prophecy, so it was pretty even!

**"Naruto drove himself to be acknowledged as the best Hokage, who he saw as a person that everyone knew and loved. Though he was not taken seriously, he proved time and again that he had the potential." The god of the sun sighed. "If he hadn't have died, I believe that Naruto wouldn't be that different from Percy Jackson. Perhaps his flaw would only be Excessive Selflessness. He wouldn't be as bitter or broken if he'd not been to the Underworld."**

"Oh, so sorry." Hades rolled his eyes. Chaos, he was blamed for everything. It was so stupid.

**"Broken?" Asclepius asked. "You mean inheriting Helios' abilities?"**

**"No," Apollo said. He watched Naruto run circles, literally, around the Drakon. The god of the sun sighed. "Naruto didn't believe in fate before he died."**

"I hear him," Percy grumbled, he hated them. They were so creepy.

**"Really?!" That was certainly surprising. Most mortals either subconsciously feared the ultimate fate, death, or were determined to change theirs. To not acknowledge it at all... "He must have been either very courageous or..."**

**"Very stupid?" Apollo chuckled. "Yeah, he's not the most theoretical kid in the camp. Probably the most unorthodox fighter you'll ever see, too. Naruto sees an obstacle and instead of trying to go around or over it, he just plows right through."**

"Good for him." Ares grinned getting a scoff from Athena.

**The gods watched Naruto as he started to slow down, and still had the Drakon on the ropes. Asclepius turned to his father.**

**"But, aside from his posttraumatic experience with the Fates, how else has he been affected?"**

**"I think that Naruto believes he is destined to die in the war," Apollo said with a frown. **

"That sucks," Leo frowned, he'd hate to be destined to die. It sounded like a bummer.

Apollo slapped his head, "Ow! god-dude!"

The sun god just glared at him.

**"He's distant and at the same time very affectionate with Thalia Grace. **

"Very, very affectionate."

"Shut it, McLean!"

**I haven't seen him really depressed since after the Battle of the Labyrinth."**

**"It was a bad day for the camp," Asclepius said. He did not wish death upon anyone, especially his kin. To hear about the attack that took so much potential...It made his ichor boil. **

"And that doesn't happen often." Apollo noted.

**"And Python's decision to take over that shinobi."**

**"Uchiha Sasuke," Apollo said with a frown. "He was Naruto's first friend and rival. They were blood brothers."**

"Stupid little jerk," Apollo said with a soured look.

**"I see...Yes, I fear you may be right, father," Asclepius said with a sigh. He turned and watched as his half-brother finished off the Drakon with another arrow. The signs were all too clear now: The fight with Ares despite the threat of another Titanomachy, the way he acts with his girlfriend (based on Apollo's word anyway), his actions over the past few years...**

**They put smiles on their faces as Naruto turned and walked back towards them with his bow rested on his shoulder. The mask he wore was plain to see, carefree and strong, but they saw past it and saw the acceptance that lay beyond.**

"…Dark."

"Leo," Jason frowned.

"What? It is!"

**"The most ironic part of all this?" Apollo said softly. "He was once a Jinchuriki."**

**Asclepius frowned and looked ahead at the seemingly cheerful teen. "The Power of Human Sacrifice."**

"Even darker!"

Jason just palmed his face at his best friend.

Thalia on the other hand had a frown on her face, actually a little worried for what her other might have to face.

**After he parted ways with his father and half-brother, Naruto returned to Camp Half-Blood in record time with a new Drakon Fang trophy for his cabin. When that was put away and he left a clone to watch over the di Angelos, he walked over to Cabin One with a yawn.**

Zeus made a grumbling noise as his siblings smirked at him.

**Thalia was already in bed by the time he got there and, once he booted Ranger from his side, Naruto climbed into bed behind her and wrapped an arm around her stomach. "So...wanna bet my day was more tiring than yours?"**

**"Depends," Thalia said. "Did you go to the Underworld and meet the most perverted being in existence?"**

**Naruto blinked and sat up slightly. "This I have to hear."**

"Us too." Percy nodded, getting a giggle from Annabeth.

"Same." Nico agreed.

"I'll read that." Annabeth said, taking the book from Leo.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Naruto**_** or **_**Percy Jackson and the Olympians**_**.**

**Reading: Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian III: The Argonauts**

**V**

"Let's get started." Annabeth said as she started reading.

**Thalia groaned and rubbed her side. She glared at the white haired man as he smirked at her and her cousins, both of whom were in the same state as she was. The three children of the Big Three were now sore, out of breath from the mobile spar, and highly irritated with Jiraiya. **

"He's an old Japanese man, he's supposed to kick your butts." Apollo stated.

"I don't like it," Thalia grunted.

"Ninja's are so broken." Percy brooded.

**The old shinobi looked no worse for wear, unharmed from her lightning, Percy's sword or Bianca's shadows. In fact, he just looked at them with his confident smirk and a sadistic gleam in his eyes that was very well hidden.**

**"Next time I complain about Naruto's training, slap me." Percy mumbled. He dabbed a finger at his bloody lip and winced. Those clog-sandals were brutal on the face.**

"There is always someone worse, Percy Jackson," Artemis informed him.

"I'll just take Chiron." Percy said dryly. Best trainer ever.

**"Oh don't cry now, you'll bring your father's wrath down on me," Jiraiya said with a roll of his eyes. "Besides, this is like, one eighth of the training I put the brat through. Then again, he's a stamina monster of epic proportions...But I'm sure Zeus' daughter already knew that."**

"…All of my hate." Thalia fumed, her cheeks red.

**Thalia's face went red and she glared daggers at the man. Lightning even threatened to escape her eyes. **

"Oh, she's really pissed if that's happening." Hermes winced, that was when the old man got super angry.

**Bianca's face lit up and Percy slapped a hand over his eyes with a groan.**

**"I **_**really**_** didn't want to hear that..."**

"No one does." Percy said, looking a bit green.

**"Oh grow up! You'll thank me when you and your girlfriends are getting down and dirty-Olé!" Jiraiya dodged a bolt of lightning with a bit of dramatic flare.**

Apollo clapped as Artemis and Thalia scowled.

**"I'll restart your heart and then stop it again!" Thalia trembled where she stood.**

"That's a good one," Zeus rubbed his bread.

"I actually agree." Hades nodded.

**Jiraiya tapped his chin. "Hm, not a bad threat. Heard better, but still, not bad." Before Thalia could retort, he turned and continued his trek. "Come along, now. Time's running out."**

**Percy groaned. "And we're still on this quest, too..."**

"Ah, time constraints…like saving the world." Leo stated.

"…Wow, I'll admit, I totally forgot about that." Percy blinked.

"Our protagonist ladies and gentlemen!" Nico declared, getting a halfhearted shove from Percy.

**"Quit whining boy or I'll have eighty pound weights on all of your limbs faster than you can say 'hello'," Jiraiya said. He sighed and shook his head. "Just like the brat I swear...'Let's stop and train!' 'Stop talking to the hooker and let's go.' **

"…So your teacher." Artemis sighed out.

Apollo just beamed.

**'Lazy perverts should use their own money!' On and on and on! It never ended! Two and a half years of that! ...Well, at least it beat the **_**other**_** incidents we had on the trip..."**

**Bianca looked up at the man. "What other incidents?"**

**"Can't say, kiddo," Jiraiya said. A grimace crossed his face. "It was one of my worst decisions while I trained Naruto...I nearly died..."**

**Thalia's eye twitched. "Yes, how horrible..."**

"I would cry." Thalia said with stoic face.

"Scary," Jason muttered, eying his sister.

**"Hey, when I did die I was fully ready to. Then, it wasn't the case. I hadn't convinced him to write an Icha-Icha chapter by that point," Jiraiya said with a frown.**

**Thalia pinched the bridge of her nose. "Someone, Dad, Artemis, I don't care who, give me strength..."**

**"Hey, you didn't lash out! Improvement!"**

"Wait for it…" Percy said.

**A bolt of lightning flew over his head.**

"There it is!"

"Shut up, Percy!"

**"Oh, never mind."**

**They walked for another few miles, or so it felt, and the flower – now rightfully back in Percy's hands, to his dismay **

Percy grumbled at being the pack mule.

– **had lost several petals. It was now half dead, but Jiraiya didn't look too worried about it. He continued to tell tales of his time alive, thankfully more age worthy ones, **

"Good," Hestia nodded sternly.

**and talked about his first few (unofficial) students who were orphans of war. Thalia noted that, despite his adultery and sleazy lifestyle choices, the old war hero had a good heart and acted more like a child services agent.**

"Like a certain moon goddess." Apollo grinned at his twin.

"…Are you comparing me to that man, Apollo?"

"To certain degree."

Artemis glare was glowing at his answer.

**"...And then Yahiko, another dumb loudmouth – why I attract them I have no clue," Jiraiya gave a small sarcastic smile, "told me something I never expected to hear from a boy's mouth. He said, 'if we're gonna "understand" each other, first we gotta make 'em suffer like we're sufferin'! Like when they stop a fight because someone got injured! But I know that'll never happen… that's why there'll always be war. **

"Ah, the beauty of mortals." Ares sighed happily.

**It always rains here and I hate it. It's like this whole country is a big crybaby. I'm going to change it… and protect everyone!'"**

"Certainly an idealist." Hades commented.

"Nothing wrong with that," Hermes noted in retort.

**Jiraiya let out a boisterous laugh and wiped the tear away from his eye. "Ah, it was good times. I was so happy to find him out of the Fields of Punishment and got him a job in my watch force."**

**"The Ears of Hades," Bianca said softly.**

"I like it," Hades smiled.

"Yes, you certainly have trouble in your own domain."

"…Shut up Poseidon."

**Jiraiya grinned. "Right-o. Course, he's tryin' to get some good say in to have Nagato pulled from the Fields..."**

**"The kid with the purple eye thing, right?" Percy asked. "Naruto's cousin?"**

**"So he told you about Nagato, huh?" Jiraiya hummed softly. "I would hope so, Nagato killed a lot of people in an effort to become 'god'. **

The _true_ gods gave scorning looks at that.

**A noble cause, but still, you know how the guys in charge can get when it comes to their pride. Zeus especially took offence when he heard about it, according to the tale Hades told me. Nagato's torture ain't so bad though."**

**"What's he have to deal with?" Thalia asked curiously.**

**Jiraiya smirked. "He does Hades' finances."**

Hades cackled, "I am a true genius."

"You are twisted." Poseidon paled.

"I feel for the guy." Nico shook his head.

**Thalia and Percy blinked. The son of Poseidon furrowed his brow. "Hades has finances?"**

"Really?" Hades asked his nephew and got a sheepish look.

**"He is the wealth god," Jiraiya said.**

**Thalia frowned. "Is it that bad?"**

**"Meh, mostly a lot of math, and Nagato's one of the smartest guys around," Jiraiya shrugged.**

**Percy shuddered. "Math...Now that's an evil the Titans had to have invented."**

"That's not true at all." Athena frowned.

"They could only create something so vile." Poseidon frowned.

Annabeth just looked at the sea god, then her boyfriend. SO that's where he got it from. Go figure.

**"Aw, is Pewcy afwaid of a widdle mawf?" Thalia asked with a smirk.**

**"It's **_**evil**_**," Percy said sternly. He crossed his arms. "Give me an English class any day over **_**math**_**."**

"Now _that's_ saying something for you." Annabeth teased, getting a pout from Percy.

**"Math's not so bad," Bianca said with a shrug.**

**Percy gave her a mild glare. "Of course **_**you**_** would say that."**

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nico glared at Percy on his sister's behalf.

"Black magic and all that." Percy said firmly.

"You are such a dork."

"Shut up," Percy brooded.

**"Hm, I wonder if Poseidon has a thing about math," Thalia pondered aloud. Percy brooded and she rolled her eyes. "Oh relax Kelp Head...Just a joke."**

**Percy shook his head. "Next you'll call him squid god."**

**"And get cursed with seasickness? No thanks."**

Poseidon chuckled at that.

**As they rounded a bend, the sound of roaring water hit their ears. Jiraiya frowned and came to a stop. "Oh, right...forgot about that."**

**The water was as black as ink, and the foam formed from it was no different. The river itself was narrow and fast. The bank was only thirty feet away, but it was too far to jump and there was no bridge.**

"Like I would have one for there." Hades scoffed. River defenses, classic.

**Jiraiya scratched his chin. "Hm...What a predicament for you three."**

**"Us three?" Bianca asked. "You can't swim the River Lethe."**

**Jiraiya looked down at her and patted her on the head, her hat flattened under his palm. **

"I miss that hat," Nico frowned and got a small huge from Hazel. He smiled a small smile at her in thanks.

**While she grumbled in irritation and fixed her hat, he chuckled. "Oh, don't worry, I won't swim in it. I'll see you three on the other side!"**

**The three had the same reaction. "Wait, what?"**

**With no further words, Jiraiya leapt up and cleared the Lethe with a single bound. **

Jason started humming the Superman theme.

**The demigods stared at him in disbelief before Percy came to his senses.**

**"Okay, ninjas are overpowered assholes..." he said.**

"Right?" Percy agreed with his other.

**"I heard that, you brat!"**

**Percy glared at him. "Well Apollo hasn't cursed me yet!"**

Apollo snapped his fingers, Percy was telling the truth.

**Jiraiya just flipped him off.**

**"...How did Whiskers not kill him?" Thalia asked.**

**Naruto snickered and interrupted Thalia's retelling. "Ero-sennin bribed me with ramen. Practically every other week."**

"Smart," Hazel nodded.

**Thalia shook her head sadly. "That's what Percy said."**

**"He was probably bribed with ramen," Percy said with a roll of his eyes.**

Annabeth patted her boyfriend's head, proud of him.

**Thalia snorted. "Naruto isn't **_**that**_** easy. I've tried it and it doesn't really work."**

"So wrong~" Piper sang out as Thalia grumbled at that.

**"This is a younger Naruto we're talking about," Percy said dryly. "We both heard the story...and if he's like me, which he **_**isn't**_**, **

"He so is." The demigods grinned at the son of Poseidon.

"So isn't." Percy brooded.

**he could be easily bribed with his favorite food."**

**"...So Annie just has to offer you blue food to get her way?" A smirk made its way on Thalia's face.**

"Oh, that was a stinger." Leo snickered.

Percy grumbled until Annabeth gave him a handful of blue M&M's.

**"...Er, Bianca, what's so bad about this river?" Percy asked Bianca.**

**The daughter of Hades smirked at him and then looked back at the river with a frown. "If you touch the water, you forget everything about who you are. It's a step most dead take before reincarnation."**

**"Huh...and if you don't take it before reincarnation?" Percy asked. Bianca shivered and the other two demigods grew unnerved.**

**"Let's just say it's better if you willingly accept it," Bianca said with a haunted look in her eye.**

Nico nodded, he got dipped once. It was not fun.

**"Noted," Thalia mumbled. She took another glance at the river and then returned her attention to Percy. "So, Waterboy, think you can pull a Moses?"**

**Percy turned to blink at her. "...A what?"**

Annabeth palmed her face, "Percy…"

"I'm Greek."

"Touché," Annabeth begrudgingly said.

**Thalia grumbled about uneducated slackers and glared at him. "Part the river, Percy."**

**"You could've just said that!" Percy frowned at her and gave the flower to Bianca. He moved up to the bank with his brows creased together and a mild grimace on his face. A beat passed before the river suddenly defied the laws of physics and made an arch over the pathway as he lifted his arms. Through gritted teeth, Percy said, "Go! It's a lot harder than it looks."**

"You need to lift more, Prissy." Ares sneered.

"Skinny arms beat you, didn't he?" Hephaestus smirked.

He got the finger for that.

**"Right." Thalia and Bianca hurried across while Percy followed them. He stopped several times to keep the river above him.**

**"Man...It's like the river has a mind of its own," Percy said with a groan.**

**"It does," Bianca said. She and Thalia made it to the opposite bank. She turned and cupped her mouth with her hand that didn't carry the flower. "Hurry up, Percy!"**

**"Oh, sure, make it sound easy..." Percy mumbled.**

**"Stop whining and run, Percy," Thalia said with a scowl. Percy made a face at her that made her eye twitch. "Careful of the mud, it's pretty-"**

"Way to jinx him," Reyna shook her head.

"Oh be quite." Thalia huffed at her.

**"Dammit!" Percy stumbled.**

**Thalia's eyes widened. "Percy!"**

**They waited for a long moment before Percy stood up in the river and patted himself down. He sighed and waded through the water to the other side. He stepped out without a single drop on him and gave the two demigoddesses a tired grin. "Well, that was only the hardest thing I've ever done with my powers."**

"Seriously, the river kept trying to tell me to let it in." Percy frowned.

"Good thing you didn't." Nico told him.

"Would've sucked for us." Thalia added with a grin.

**"Only?" The three turned to face the amused face of Jiraiya, who sat on a slab of obsidian stone and scribbled in his notes. He shook his head. "You must have it really easy with the brat if **_**that**_** was the hardest thing you've ever done. If **_**I**_** were training you full time, I'd have you lifting gallons off the ocean floor at a time."**

**"...I...I don't think that's possible..." Percy said with a swallow. **

"It is." Percy nodded.

**"And I wouldn't really gain anything from it."**

**"I saw your arms tremble under the river's will. You'd probably benefit from lifting water off the ground more than actual weights," Jiraiya said with a hum. He then scribbled something down and smirked at the two girls. "And I'll bet the two of you would benefit from some weighted clothes."**

"Ninja training." Leo gasped, "So jealous!"

"Don't be." Percy told him, it didn't sound fun. Not at all.

**"That's not a bad idea," Naruto said. Thalia frowned at him and he shrugged. "It's not."**

**"Oh, yeah, here," Thalia said. She reached over and grabbed a folded up piece of paper from her bedside table and offered it to him.**

**Naruto arched a brow and unfolded the paper. He skimmed over it and chuckled. "Wow, what a dick...He wrote it in our language...And coded it with his BWH cipher..."**

"Cipher? Uh, James Bond stuff. Can't they just be straightforward?" Percy complained.

"They're ninjas."

"I know."

The gods were snickering as the goddess had looks of distaste.

Aphrodite on the other hand, "My, want a clever little mortal."

"He's not." Artemis spat out in disgust.

"Prude."

**Thalia frowned. "His what?"**

**"Er, nothing. Now, what happened once you guys got across the River Lethe?" Naruto asked as he slipped the paper into his back pocket.**

**Thalia gave him a wary look before she shook her head. "Well, anyway, once the Perverted Sage was done with his **_**wise**_** advice..."**

Athena scoffed at that.

**"Well, now that we're all across, I'd say we hurry up and pay a visit to the one that is most likely going to offer our thief a way out," Jiraiya said.**

**Bianca blinked once before she whimpered audibly. "Do we have to see **_**her**_**?"**

"Oh, she knows the hap-hap."

"What?" Piper looked at Leo.

"What's happening."

"Oh!"

**Thalia and Percy looked between her and an apologetic Jiraiya. "Sorry, kiddo. Who else would so openly defy your father and not be mentally challenged?"**

Hades glowered, a frown on his face.

**"That's debatable," Bianca murmured. Jiraiya chortled and ruffled her hat. He got a glare and pout from the girl as she tried to fix the giant floppy hat that covered her head.**

**"Don't worry kiddo, I've got you covered."**

**"Wait, who is it we need to go visit?" Percy asked.**

**Bianca grimaced. "Melinoe."**

**"Mel-in-oh-e?" Percy repeated slowly. That was a strange name. **

"Greek gods." Percy surmised for his other, they would always be weird.

**"Who is that?"**

**"One of the most bizarre cases of worlds colliding," Jiraiya said with a chuckle. "Life and Death wrapped into one...living dead."**

**"...A zombie?" Thalia asked dryly. Was it about to get very Romero for them?**

"Now that I think about it," Nico rubbed her chin.

"It was sorta like that." Percy pointed out.

"Right?"

**"Zombie, ghost, ghoul, undead...Melinoe is the one in charge of them all," Jiraiya said as he once again led the way the flower pointed at. Another petal fell and the flower began to look like a floppy eared rabbit. The shinobi grimaced. "She's the one that okayed the Reanimation Technique for Lord Second...Boy was Hades miffed that he couldn't revoke that deal."**

Hades palmed his face.

**"Reanimation Technique?" Percy frowned. "You mean there's a ninja move-"**

**"Jutsu." Jiraiya and Thalia corrected.**

**Percy rolled his eyes. "Whatever. There's a thing that your people made to bring back the dead?"**

"Zombie ninjas, and I though zombie pirates was the big film catcher." Hades rolled his eyes.

"Zombie ninjas," Apollo wrote that down.

**"Oh yeah," Jiraiya said with a scowl. "My old teammate managed to get his slimy paws on it and used it many times. He sacrificed his own men to bring back the First and Second Hokages during his invasion of our home a decade ago. If I could muster the nerve, I would kiss that Uchiha for killing him off."**

**"He's dead," Thalia said dryly.**

"Yay!" the demigods cheered. Cruel? Yes. But the guy was such a dick.

**Jiraiya shuddered. "I know, I saw his torture...and I've been trying for weeks to unsee it."**

**Percy shuddered. "Er, moving right along..."**

**"We're here," Jiraiya said. He turned and looked at the three just a few feet away from a large obsidian mountain. "Like I said, I've got your back."**

**"You're not coming with us?" Bianca asked, a bit shocked.**

**The shinobi shrugged. "Sorry, can't. I'm an agent of Hades and while I know what's going on all around me, not much I can do when it comes to another gods' domain or home. Even if that god calls Hades' domain their home."**

"Plus he is a ghost, Melinoe could use him against them," Nico stated.

"That's be really, really bad."

"Thank you, Percy." Thalia said dryly.

"It's what I do."

**"Great," the three said dryly.**

**Jiraiya just gave them two thumbs up. "Don't worry about it, the Gallant Jiraiya will be with you in spirit!"**

"…I don't feel assured at all." Frank frowned.

"Image how we feel?" Percy told him.

**"...Wow, thanks for the rousing speech," Thalia said dryly.**

**"And now you know why I never got promoted to Hokage...plus it would cut in on my research," Jiraiya said with a grin. He winked at Percy. "Look me up next time you come down, Kid. I'll give you some grade A tips that Apollo got from yours truly."**

Annabeth narrowed her eyes at that.

"I'd never do that." Percy promised her.

"Good."

**"Yeah, I'll be sure to do that," Percy said. His eyes rolled as he walked passed and he yelped as a palm slapped the back of his head. "Stop hitting me, dammit!"**

"Le gasp!" Piper said.

"Perseus Jackson," Hestia frowned.

"Oops." Percy shrugged.

**"Wow, you made Percy swear. Props," Thalia said with a smirk.**

**"It's what he gets for disrespecting his wise elders!" Jiraiya gave the boy a stink eye.**

**Percy returned it with a glare. "I'll show you what Riptide thinks of my **_**wise elders**_**!"**

"Whoa! Percy with some bite!" Leo whistled.

**"Oh just go fight the goddess of ghosts already!" Jiraiya said with a huff.**

**"I will!" Percy huffed back and marched ahead of the girls with the potted plant in hand.**

"So manly," Annabeth giggled.

Percy stuck out his chest.

**Naruto burst into laughter. "Tell me that really happened. Please!"**

**"No, but I knew you'd like it," Thalia said with her own smile.**

**"Aww..."**

"Aww…" Percy frowned.

**Percy grumbled under his breath and followed after Bianca and Thalia, the plant back in his hand. He also had his sword out and at the ready, much like Thalia did with her spear and Bianca with her own sword. Thalia couldn't stop her snickers if she tried while Bianca giggled. **

"Cousins are the worst." Percy brooded.

Jason patted his shoulder, "There there, dude."

"Thanks bro."

"Bromance." Annabeth and Piper giggled.

**Their enjoyment ended as a hiss filled the air and they stopped when a white mist came out of the cave and quickly evolved into a thick fog.**

**From the fog came a woman with disheveled blonde hair, dressed in a pink fuzzy bathrobe and a wine glass in her hand.**

Thalia paled.

Jason looked at his sister's features and turned to see Zeus grimace as well.

**"Oh, now you come back." She growled. The woman took a sip of her wine and lowered her glass to reveal a scowl on her face. "Well, it's too late."**

**Thalia's grip slackened around her spear and her eyes went wide. "M-Mother?"**

**"...**_**That's**_** your mom?" Percy sounded horrified.**

"Subtle, Percy." Jason told him.

Percy said sorry.

**"As much as I love you, not really that upset about having no mother-in-law...your dad is scary enough on his own," Naruto said dryly.**

Zeus gave a stern nod to this.

"He's like that with all his daughters." Ares jeered.

Athena glared at him, "Silence, Baffoon."

"Whatever, War Muffin."

"You-!"

"Enough you two," Hestia stopped them with a stern look.

**Thalia smirked at him. "Don't worry, Whiskers. I'll protect you."**

**Naruto gave a mock laugh. "Funny. Goddess of Comedy."**

**"I am named after her."**

"Actually, you were named after one of the Three Graces that were Aphrodite's handmaidens." Zeus told his youngest daughter.

Thalia was quiet at that while Aphrodite herself was in titters.

"I do have a job opening~"

"Never." Thalia paled at the very thought.

"Oh darn." The love goddess pouted.

**"Just tell the story, Lia-chan."**

**Thalia remembered when she heard about her mother's death, there was a lot of indifference, but with that indifference came a lot of guilt. Her own mother had died and she hardly cared.**

"I still don't." Thalia said gruffly.

Jason looked at her with a frown.

"You shouldn't either, Jason. You don't even remember her, you got lucky."

Jason contemplated that.

**"You left me!" The glass was thrown to the ground and the visage of her mother grew upset. "You doomed me to walk the earth! You-You ungrateful runaway!"**

**The rant continued and Thalia shrunk under the weight of her guilt. Thalia felt horrible about it, but she still felt justified. At the time, she fully believed Jason was dead.**

**Jason.**

"Oh snap, here comes the come back!" Leo tensed.

**The name rekindled her common sense and Thalia's sense of overwhelming guilt drifted away like a warm breeze. She was guilty of being angry and indifferent, but the woman's death was not her fault.**

**"I did leave you," Thalia said. She glared at the spirit. "I left you and it was the best damn decision I ever made in my life! I escaped your drunk ass!"**

"More power to you," Artemis nodded.

**"Wretched girl!" Ms. Grace accused.**

"We can agree on one thing," Hera muttered.

**"I am not wretched!" Thalia's glare intensified. "I am not stupid, I did not betray you, and I don't regret anything I ever did! My decisions led me to my boyfriend and I wouldn't trade that for anything!"**

That got some aww's.

"Oh be quiet," Thalia said weakly, cheeks pink.

"I think it's sweet," Annabeth smiled at her friend, getting a halfhearted push.

**"Not even immortality?" Naruto asked with a warm smile.**

**Thalia shoved him lightly. "Shut up and listen to my story, Whiskers."**

**"You left me after we lost Jason!" The woman wailed.**

**"Who's Jason?" Percy asked. **

"Bro?" Jason said, looking hurt.

"Sorry bro," Percy told him sincerely.

"Oh gods, just makeout already!" Nico rolled his eyes and threw his arms in the air.

The two looked at him strangely, "Why would we do that?"

Nico just palmed his face, "Idiots." He muttered.

**Bianca frowned, as she was equally confused.**

**"We didn't **_**lose**_** Jason," Thalia said with a hiss as she ignored Percy's inquiry. "You left him at the Wolf House! I found him again, happy and free from your poison!"**

**The woman's eyes flashed. "You dare-!"**

**"You were nothing but a pretty face that Zeus fell for!" Thalia snarled at the woman. **

Hera smiled at that as Zeus looked sheepish.

**"When you had me, that wasn't enough for you! You wanted more! You got greedy! Your greed cost you, **_**mother**_**, and I'm **_**not**_** sorry for what happened to you! You brought your own demise and I'm sick of being associated with you! So do me a favor and please kindly **_**fuck off**_**!"**

Hestia gave her a disapproving look, "I said please." Thalia noted.

Hestia didn't push the issue, it was a very difficult moment. But must they curse?

**The land was still as Thalia panted from her rant and all eyes glued themselves to her. Thalia tightened her grip around her spear and continued to glare at the ghost of the woman who birthed her. If she never had to see that face again it would be too soon.**

**Bianca's mouth was open in shock and Percy blinked. "...Whoa..."**

"That is whoa worthy." Frank muttered.

"Tell me about it." Hazel nodded in agreement.

**The figure recoiled from Thalia like she was diseased and turned her attention to Bianca. Suddenly, Ms. Grace shifted in the fog to another form. She changed from a woman dressed poorly to another woman dressed in an old fashioned black velvet dress that had a matching hat. Her hands became covered in white gloves and around her neck was a string of pearls. Her hair turned from disheveled blonde to neat black that was tied back.**

Nico twisted his fists and Hades frowned greatly, but had a wistful look in his eyes.

**"Mama!" Bianca took a step back in surprise.**

**"It's not her, Bianca," Percy said. Thalia gave him an odd look and he gestured to the woman with the plant. "How can that be your mom and hers?"**

"Perfect logic." Annabeth nodded.

"See? I'm logical."

"You're more illogical, Seaweed Brain." The blonde smiled at him.

"You know you like it." Percy grinned back.

"I do."

"Enough mushy stuff." Nico gagged. Annabeth nodded and got back to reading.

**"My little girl, taken from me at such a young age," the woman said with a sweet smile. "I died with grief and worry in my heart for you and your brother."**

**"Bianca, it's not her," Thalia said. "Listen to us!"**

**The fog began to wrap around Bianca's feet like roots. **

"Come on, Bianca, come on." Nico muttered under his breath.

**The woman's smile widened and she opened her arms.**

**"Now you've returned," she said. "My little girl has come back...after all these years."**

**"All these years...Mama..." Bianca said. Her appearance began to dull and the color in her features began to fade.**

Nico sighed, "I missed her too." Bianca too, but you had to move on.

**"You're no one's mama, lady!" Percy readied Riptide and took a slash with his sword.**

"With plant in hand!" Hermes declared.

"Truly the green warrior for our blue world!" Apollo said in a gallant tone.

**The woman turned and danced out of the way of the blow. Her form flickered and Thalia blanched at the sight. One half of Melinoe was chalk white like all the blood had been drained from her. The other half was an ugly midnight black and hardened like the dried skin of a mummy. A golden dress covered her form and a golden shawl settled over her shoulders. Thalia looked at the empty sockets that were the goddess' eyes and felt as though death had gripped her.**

"…That's messed up." Leo said, looking a bit green with the other Seven besides Percy.

"How could that ever happen?" Demeter asked, taking an accusing glance at Hades.

"Hey! Half of her is Persephone as well!" he argued.

**"...Wow, now I **_**really**_** hope you're nobody's Mom." Percy looked a little green around his gills. Thalia agreed with him, goddess or not she'd have one **_**fugly**_** kid.**

"Hey," Hades glared at his nephew. While she did try to betray him, Melinoe was still his daughter.

"Sorry but come on." Percy told Hades.

The lord of the dead grunted at that, speaking no more of the topic.

**Melinoe glared at him. "Where are **_**your**_** ghosts?"**

**Percy frowned. "I don't know. I don't have any."**

**"Everyone has ghosts!" Melinoe argued. "Regretted deaths, guilt, fear – all visible to me and me alone like the words on a page! Why can't I see yours?"**

**"I made my peace with the ones I lost, admittedly not as loud as Thalia did-"**

**Thalia glared at him. "Screw you, Jackson."**

**"-but I let them rest. If I didn't, the sacrifices they made would be meaningless. **

"That was deep," Hades said, clearly impressed.

"Go Percy," Poseidon smiled.

Percy smiled as Annabeth nudged his shoulder with a smile on her face and continued reading.

**Now let her go!"**

**Melinoe scowled and tightened her hand into a fist. "Bianca...do your mama a favor-"**

**"I think he said to let her go!" Thalia stabbed at the ghost with her spear. Melinoe recoiled away from the girl and the fog retreated from the cocoon it started to make around Bianca. The daughter of Hades slumped to her knees with gasps for air and looked at the goddess with a glare.**

**"You...you tricked me again!" Bianca scowled.**

"Again?" Nico blinked, Hades looking curious as well.

**Melinoe hissed awkwardly, like a demented laugh. "Foolish girl, you are too easy to ensnare. Your self-esteem is so pitiful, it's a miracle that son of Apollo goes near you at all."**

"Ouch!" Apollo said with a frown as Aphrodite smiled.

"Oh, but it's all drama. He's still with her."

"Yeah, but jabs are so not needed for that."

"Nico nodded, "Agreed." He said with a scowl.

**"Sh-shut up!" Bianca scowled.**

**"Shut up? Is that the thanks I get for bringing you and he together?" Melinoe asked as her mouth curled upwards in a smirk.**

**Bianca's scowl turned into a glare. "You...you're the one that poisoned me! You infected me with the Black Plague!"**

"Oh that little-!" Hades seethed.

"Well, she didn't do it here." Hera pointed out.

"I still haven't punished her properly for her last stunt." Hades said in a dead calm tone.

**"Oh yes," Melinoe said with a hiss-like cackle.**

**"Why!?"**

**Melinoe sneered. "Your presence angers me! Hades cast me out of his home to live here, on the outskirts of his domain because of my appearance! **

"Hades," Hestia frowned.

"What?" Hades said as all eyes were on him now.

**And when he dared welcome you with open arms, he blatantly forgot of my existence! My duties were suspended because of you! Because I shamed his house whereas you, a filthy Halfling, did not!"**

"This sounds like something out of Harry Potter." Percy noted with a knitted brow.

"Totally." Nico nodded.

**"So...You tried to kill her?" Thalia asked with a glare.**

**"Oh no, that was another's plan," Melinoe said. "They had hoped the plague would spread, wipe out the rest of the camp and eliminate the first line of defense of Olympus. **

"…Well played." Athena note begrudgingly.

"Dark, I love it." Ares grinned wildly.

**Oh well, I've always been one for the direct approach anyway."**

**"You conspired to kill your own sister to dethrone the Olympians?!" Percy asked. He then blinked in shock and looked around warily, seemingly confused at what had happened.**

"That was oddly specific for Percy." Annabeth frowned.

"Yeah," Thalia nodded.

"Hey!"

**"Yes!" Melinoe said with another hiss-like laugh. "And I'd do it again. And again. And again. And again! And **_**again**_** until it worked!"**

**"That's all I needed to hear."**

**A golden cage fell from the sky around Melinoe and the goddess shrieked in surprise. From the ground came several black bars that interlaced with the gold cage. Then to top it all off, golden shackles appeared on Melinoe's arms.**

"Bondage!"

"Ares!" Hera and Hestia thundered as the war god snickered.

**"What is the meaning of this!?" Melinoe demanded.**

**"You just admitted to conspiracy against Hades and the rest of the Olympians." The three demigods turned to see Jiraiya walk in with his arms crossed over his chest. He nodded at Bianca with a grin. "Told you I'd have your back."**

**"Wha-what the heck is going on?" Percy asked.**

**"Oh, I was given a little mission prior to your arrival," Jiraiya said with a smile. He walked over to Melinoe and smirked at her. "Hades has been working me to the undead bone to discover how his daughter contracted the Black Death. **

Hades nodded, he would do that.

**He gave me that cage, made from part of the chair that had trapped Hera, **

Hera pinked with anger as the smith god smirked a bit.

Ah, good times.

**to bring to him whoever was responsible. I wonder how he'll react to your appearance, Melinoe?"**

**Melinoe hissed. "Damned mortal fool! Release me this instant!"**

**"Yeah, not happening," Jiraiya said. He turned and nodded at the demigods. "Thanks for the help, kids."**

**"...You used us!?" Thalia asked, outraged.**

"Shady dude, no doubt." Leo nodded to himself.

"It was pretty good." Annabeth admitted.

**Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "Duh. I'm a ninja. I do my missions in the most efficient way possible. And I can't just go around interrogating goddesses...I would if I could, but sadly I can't. You guys, however..."**

**"Is that why I asked that question?" Percy asked, a frown on his face.**

**Jiraiya gave him a grin. "Yeah, sorry about that. Spiritual possession is a tricky thing and I really do try to not do it often."**

"So Jackson had an old man in him?"

"Ares," Poseidon glowered as Percy looked ready to barf.

**Percy shivered. "Gross."**

**Bianca frowned. "At least we can get past Melinoe."**

**"Right," Jiraiya said. He put his hand on the cage and gave them a lopsided grin. "Guess I should get her back to Hades' temple before she loses it."**

**"You think this upsets me!?" Melinoe asked with a hissing laugh. The four turned to her and she smirked. "I succeeded in **_**my**_** goal. The time is up! Your quest has failed! The Piercer rises and Kronos will rule again!"**

"Bring it on," Percy grinned, crossing his arms.

"This should be entertaining." Reyna smiled, if Percy was so confident, then it must be good.

**"Oh, goodie. She has a cause. That'll be fun to listen to on the way back," Jiraiya said dryly. He grinned at the three demigods and gave them a salute. "Alright, this time you're on your own for real. Good luck! Oh, and don't die!"**

**With that said, he vanished in a plume of smoke that made the demigods cough.**

**"I **_**hate**_** ninjas!" Thalia growled once the smoke cleared.**

"You like Naruto."

"Shut up, Annie."

**"Lia-chan!" Naruto pouted at her.**

**Thalia rolled her eyes with a small smile on her face at his antics. "Not you, Whiskers."**

**Naruto visibly relaxed and a smile returned to his face. "Oh, good."**

Annabeth just smiled at Thalia, who grumbled.

**"I hear you," Percy said with another cough. They looked back at the flower and paled. "Oh no..."**

**The last petal had fallen while they spoke with Melinoe and Jiraiya. The carnation wilted and turned black, as dead as Melinoe's right half.**

**"Wonderful," Thalia said dryly.**

**"It truly is!" Boomed a man's voice with a laugh. The three demigods snapped their eyes over to the cave in the mountainside where two figures stood. One was a boy with an eye patch **

"Ethan," Percy frowned, his shoulders slumped.

Annabeth rubbed his shoulder in support.

**and the other was a ten-foot-tall man in a tattered prison jumpsuit.**

"Wonderful," Zeus grunted.

"Where were you, anyway?" Poseidon asked Hades.

"I have business affairs as well, brother." Hades frowned.

"Still, he was right there in the underworld."

"Oh stop your wailing."

Zeus chuckled at the word play.

**"Ethan," Percy said. Thalia recognized the boy Percy had fought only a few months ago in Antaeus' arena. He still looked like a little prick with his crooked eye patch. Thalia absently noted that Kakashi wore his headband better than Ethan wore his eye patch. In his hand was a double-bladed sword of black stygian iron, decorated in silver skeletal designs. The sword had no hilt, its base instead was a golden key.**

"Nice…" Ares drooled over the weapon.

"Down boy," Apollo told his warring brother.

**The giant man next to him had eyes that were orbs of pure silver. An unkempt beard trailed down from his face and his hair was even wilder than Thalia's. He was thin and haggard, visible thanks to his ripped prison uniform that was undoubtedly due to him being stuck in a pit for the past thousand years. Even weakened, though, he had the appearance of a Titan, a being of evil that sent a shudder through Thalia's spine. The man held his hand out and an enormous spear appeared in it.**

**Iapetus, the Piercer, named for his favorite way to defeat his enemies. Thalia swallowed and readied herself for one of the most dangerous fights of her life. As though he saw it, Iapetus smiled cruelly.**

"Tartarus has not been kind to him," Hermes whistled.

"Good." Zeus sniffed.

"He's actually a pretty good worker." Hades defended.

"Bah."

**"Now, I shall destroy you."**

**"Master," Ethan said softly. He sounded tired and looked it, too. "We have the sword, we should-!"**

**"Yes, yes, you've done a fine job, Nonaka."**

**"It's Nakamura, Master."**

**"Whatever. I'm sure Kronos will reward you. For now, we have killing to attend to!" An eager grin spread across the Titan's face.**

"It's always kill kill kill," Hestia pouted, "Never a nice wholesome chat."

"We were at war, sister." Demeter told the eldest Olympian.

"I know, but still, we _are_ civilized beings."

Ares belched.

"Well, some of us."

**"But my lord," Ethan said persistently. "You're not at full power. We should ascend and summon your brothers. Our orders were to flee."**

**"**_**Flee**_**!? Did you just tell me to **_**flee**_**?!" The Titan rounded on him with a snarl. The ground rumbled beneath their feet and Ethan fell on his butt. He scrambled backward in fear and the unfinished Sword of Hades clattered to the rocks.**

**"Master, please!" Ethan stuttered.**

"Not the Crucio!" Apollo wailed.

**"Iapetus does not **_**flee**_**! I've waited **_**eons**_** to be released from my prison! Vengeance will be mine, even if I must start with these weaklings!"**

"And he's doomed," Frank said, Percy was no weakling. Thalia was the same from what they've read. He wasn't so sure on Bianca, but the Nico in the sorry mentioned she was tough. So he felt they would win.

**Iapetus leveled his spear at Percy and charged. The green-eyed demigod just barely managed to avoid the slash that looked to Thalia like a tornado. Thalia was shocked at the speed the Titan displayed, and this was him weakened! She could only imagine how terribly powerful he'd be once fully restored. **

"It was not fun," Percy said.

Thalia nodded, "Ditto."

**Iapetus ripped up the ground as he pulled his spear from it. Thalia gathered his attention from Percy with a charged bolt of lightning from her spear. Iapetus rounded on her with a roar and Thalia realized she had only succeeded in angering him instead of hurting him.**

"Bad day," Jason winced.

**As she dodged the Titan's attack on her, she saw Ethan scramble for the sword. "Bianca, stop him!"**

**"Right!" The daughter of Hades lifted her blade in Ethan's direction. A cage of shadows erected itself around the boy and tightened into a small kennel that he could hardly move in.**

"That's pretty good, even I can't do that." Nico admitted.

"I have earth, you have ghosts, and it looks like she's more align to shadows." Hazel pondered.

"Looks like it."

**"Brutal," Percy said.**

**"It'll hold him, but only for so long!" Bianca grunted.**

**"Summon some goons!" Thalia said as she parried Iapetus' spear with her own. Bad call on her part, the Titan merely shoved once and she was forced back a good three meters. "Dammit! Percy, close quarters support!"**

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Just shut up and listen to someone for once, Kelp Head."

"Pinecone Face." Percy glared as Thalia glared at him.

Annabeth wacked both of them with the book, "Enough."

The cousins grumbled at that, rubbing their heads. Of course they sent one last look at each other.

**Without acknowledging her cry, Percy rushed at Iapetus while Bianca summoned forth several skeleton warriors to trap Ethan. Percy's sword passed down over Iapetus' leg and stabbed through the Piercer's calf. Iapetus roared again, undoubtedly infuriated and in pain. **

"You like going for the legs, don't you Jackson?"

"How's yours?" Percy asked Ares mockingly as they glared at each other.

**He spun and backhanded Percy into rocks by the River Lethe, where the son of Poseidon was impaled through the shoulder by a stray jagged portion of obsidian.**

"Okay, ow." Percy winced at his own wound, that didn't happen when he was on that quest.

**"You die first, boy!" Iapetus limped his way over to where Percy struggled to free himself. More lightning struck his back from Thalia's spear, but Iapetus brushed it off. Bianca shot out of a shadow in front of Percy much like Nico had in the Labyrinth, she simultaneously slashed and dodged out of the way, like something out of a samurai movie. Her slice had Iapetus stumble back and hold an arm over his chest.**

"Go Bianca!" Thalia cheered.

"Samurai girl!" Nico grinned, it was nice form.

**"Impudent child!" The Titan roared. He spun in an effort to catch the girl, but she ducked into another shadow and vanished. Iapetus snarled and spun around. "Where are you, **_**girl**_**? Are you so cowardly you cannot face me?!"**

"She's using her powers excellently," Hades praised, "Short burst shadow travel for combat usage? Well played."

**"I am **_**not**_** a coward!" Bianca shouted. She came from another shadow and drove her sword through Iapetus' gut. The Titan roared and stumbled back to the bank of the Lethe. He shoved Bianca away from him and pulled her sword from his stomach. **

"Okay, she's getting a lot of damage in for a rookie," Apollo said with a beaming smile. He's son picked a good girlfriend.

"Well, she _is_ in the underworld," Nico pointed out. It was their turf. "But yeah, she's doing great." He smiled, he wished he could have seen it for himself though.

**He dropped it to the ground with so much as another thought.**

**"Bianca!" Thalia charged forward with her shield out. Iapetus glared at her and with his spear batted her away to the side. Percy called out Thalia's name in worry and pain, still unable to free himself from the rock that had pierced his shoulder. **

"Like a turtle on his back," Athena commented.

"Mom," Annabeth groaned as Percy pouted.

**Thalia got back to her knees and formed a ball of wind in her hand. Static ignited it and she tossed it at the Titan.**

"Should've let it cook for a second." Ares shook his head.

**The lightning bomb landed at his feet and Iapetus fell back to a knee, nearly on the edge of the bank. With a roar Iapetus spun his spear in his hand and snarled as he glared at the daughter of Zeus.**

**"I will kill you all and banish your souls to the endless pit that is Tartarus!" He said as he readied a throw.**

**"Your son was just as ugly as you are!" Percy said through gritted teeth. "And just as frightening, so forgive me if I'm not impressed by your threat!"**

"There's that Poseidon banter."

"Go play with your gems, Hades."

**The throw ready to be made turned and aimed at Percy. The son of Poseidon glared defiantly at Iapetus, but movement caught his eye and his ADHD kicked in as he searched for the source.**

**"This is getting good..."**

**"Stop interrupting!"**

**"Sorry, Lia-chan."**

"He better be." Thalia huffed.

"Yeah, Thalia gets cranky when you interrupt her stories."

"I do, Annie, same with you."

Annabeth nodded, "So be quiet and let me read."

"…Touché."

**"Leave them **_**alone**_**!" Iapetus turned to face the daughter of Hades as shadows surrounded her form. Her hands shot forward and a giant claw of inky darkness shot from it. **

"…I want to be able to do that." Nico pouted, that looked cool. And menacing!

"I wonder if I can do that with earth?" Hazel mused to herself, rubbing her chin.

**Iapetus' eyes went wide in shock, but before he could defend himself he was plunged into the water behind him.**

"And the House of Hades scores!" Hades smirked as his children cheered.

**Bianca's eyes, now orbs of darkness, narrowed and she kept her arms extended for a good long while. **

"She's entered Darkness Mode." Apollo gasped.

"I think your kid needs some light powers." Hermes told him.

"Maybe," the sun god hummed in thought.

**Finally, she pulled her arms to her sides and the drenched Titan was hauled from the water to the land. Iapetus' silver eyes were as wide as the moon and his mouth moved slightly, but no sound escaped it.**

**"...Whoa..." Thalia said, slightly amazed. "Bianca...that was amazing!"**

"Well, if Thalia says so…" Percy grinned.

Thalia nodded, "Big cool points for that one."

**Before she could take any credit for her work, Bianca's eyes rolled into her head and she slumped to the ground.**

"Aw, she's all tuckered out." Hazel smiled, that was cute.

**"And exhausting," Percy mumbled. He pressed his hands to the rocks and pushed, and finally, freed himself with a painful yell. Percy fell to his knees with his hand over his shoulder. "Ah! G-eez! That hurts!"**

"Impalement tends to do that." Nico nodded.

"Not helping."

**Thalia caught movement out of the corner of her eye and sent a bolt of lightning at Ethan, who had been reaching for the Sword of Hades. Three eyes, two blue and one black, met and the pair of blue narrowed. "Give me a reason, kid. I dare you."**

"Please do," Ares begged.

**Ethan trembled and scrambled away into Melinoe's cave. Thalia debated killing him, but decided that checking on the others would be best.**

"Should've just offed him." Ares said with his thumb down.

"He helped me in the final fight," Percy argued.

"That just shows how much of a wimp you are." The war god sneered.

**"Normally, I'd say that was stupid, but good call," Naruto said. "Comrades first, enemies later."**

**Thalia glowered at him. "Can I finish?"**

**"Sorry."**

**Thalia rushed to Percy's side and pulled a canteen from her belt out to him. "Here, some nectar."**

**"You carry a canteen of nectar with you?" Percy asked drearily, a bit tired from the blood loss.**

"I really need that water bottle." Percy thought to himself.

**"Shut up and drink, Percy."**

**The son of Poseidon did just that and stopped after a few sips. He didn't want to burst into flames for drinking too much, after all. He held his shoulder that slowly healed and sighed in relief. They then went to Bianca's side and Thalia lightly jostled her shoulder.**

**"Bianca, Bianca wake up."**

**The daughter of Hades' eyes fluttered open and she groaned. "No more, Kushina...I can't run anymore..."**

"The nightmares," Nico shivered at what his other and sister had to go through.

**"I think she'll be fine," Percy said with a hint of amusement.**

**Another groan made them turn and look at the Titan as he got to his feet. Iapetus winced and pulled Percy's sword from his calf, which clattered to the ground before it vanished. The wound healed instantly and he turned around. His eyes landed on them and he smiled.**

**"Hello!"**

"Friendly Titan, kill it with fire!" Leo cried out, shielding his eyes.

Nico pushed him.

**The two demigods shared a look and then looked back at him. Hesitantly, Percy waved his hand. "Uh...hi?"**

**Iapetus looked between them and his smile stayed in place. "Do you know who I am?"**

**Percy and Thalia shared another look before Percy looked back at the Titan. "You're my friend! Bob!"**

Poseidon palmed his face as everyone was snickering.

"Hey, Bob's an awesome name." Percy said.

"Like Bessie?"

"Still awesome."

**"Bob?" Thalia asked flatly.**

**"It came off the top of my head, sue me!"**

**Iapetus smiled as though he didn't hear their conversation. "I am your friend Bob!"**

"Percy made a friend," Frank smirked.

Leo snickered, "It's sunshine and rainbows from here on out."

**Bianca sat up and groaned again. "I feel like I could fall asleep any minute."**

**"Well don't yet," Thalia said as she put her mace away and walked over to where the Sword of Hades rested. She picked it up and held it out to Bianca. "We have to get this back to Hades."**

**Bianca took the sword and then reached out for hers. It shot to her hand and she sheathed it back on her back. The daughter of Hades' looked at the key in her hand. "We...We did it."**

"Her first quest," Nico smiled softly, proud of his sister.

Artemis felt a twist of guilt in her, such lost potential.

**"We did?" Iapetus, er, Bob asked. He still had a smile in place. "Did I help?"**

**Percy shared a look with the girls and then looked back at Bob with a weak smile.**

**"Yeah, Bob...you were a big help."**

"Bob the Builder~" Leo hummed, bobbing his head.

"You mean Leo the Builder," Piper corrected him.

"That too!"

**Bob's smile widened even further.**

"It's so eerie." Demeter frowned.

**Naruto broke down into laughter. "Bob the Titan?"**

**"Hey, be nice. Bob isn't so bad...once you get past the fact he tried to kill me," Thalia said with a small smile. "And I never said I was done."**

**"Oh, what, Hecate came up and tried to fight you?" Naruto asked with a light grin.**

"That'd be funny," Hera smirked as Thalia glowered.

**Thalia's smile fell into a frown. "No...Thanks."**

**Naruto wrapped his arm over her shoulders and pulled her close. "Sorry, Lia-chan. But it sounds like it's all done. I mean, what else could have happened after you got the sword back?"**

**"Well..." Thalia trailed off.**

**Naruto waited patiently as she looked for words to use when his eyes went wide. His clone's clone had just dispelled and Naruto discovered something very shocking had happened after they found the Sword of Hades. Very shocking indeed. He doubted that maybe even his father hadn't seen this twist coming.**

"I resent that!" Apollo pouted.

**"Pluto has a daughter!?"**

"Hey, that's me!" Hazel beamed and Frank hugged her.

"Seems you'll be in the story too." Percy grinned at her.

"Yep!"

A note suddenly fluttered down and Percy caught it. He read it again groaned, standing up.

"What's up?" Annabeth asked him.

Percy turned the note around for them to see, "Time to save the world. Again." The son of Poseidon grinned.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Naruto**_** or **_**Percy Jackson and the Olympians**_**.**

**Reading: Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian III: The Argonauts**

**VI**

"Well, that was one heck of an adventure, right?" Leo asked after he totally saved the world from Gaea, like the badass he was.

Piper just punched him in the arm, "Ow!" he cried out.

"I'm still pissed at you, Leo Valdez." She scowled.

"Sorry?"

The rest of the seven and company rolled their eyes as the gods snickered.

"Whose turn is it again?" Leo asked to evade further punishment from the daughter of Aphrodite.

"I'll do it." Frank said, taking the book.

"Then start it, Beast Boy."

Frank gave Leo a flat look and did so.

**"Yeah, I was getting to that," Thalia said. She frowned at Naruto. "How did it take that long for you to find out?"**

**"My clone had...difficulty accepting what happened," Naruto said. An understatement if he'd ever said one. His clone had stammered for several minutes in disbelief before he finally made an IM to Hades. It took ten minutes just to have a private conversation due to Kushina's inquiries about the grandbaby progress. **

"A good mother," Hera smirked.

"Nagging is more like it." Hermes muttered. He yelped from getting an elbow from Apollo.

"No dissing the waifu." The sun god said sternly.

**While the clone was mortified, Hades admitted he never felt so amused. **

"Ah, the suffering of others." Hades smiled pleasantly.

All the demigods looked at him worriedly.

**Then, the clone had to deal with Hades and Pluto, neither wanted to relinquish control and explain the situation. In the end, the clone got a vague description of what happened and, with no further information, decided to make another clone while it dispelled to inform the original.**

**"Yeah, so did Percy and Bianca. Hades managed to convince Percy to let it be until tomorrow." Thalia let a smirk cross her face.**

"I bet he threatened me." Percy pouted.

"I am just always the bad guy, huh?" Hades huffed.

**"So, he threatened him?" Naruto asked with an amused smile. Hades' threats were always creative...but sometimes a little bland. Personally, he liked the 'your soul is mine' growl. That was hilarious.**

"I love it." Nico smirked at his father.

"Watch it young man." Hades told his son.

**"Yep. I wouldn't be surprised if Chiron held a camp meeting tomorrow," Thalia said.**

"This should prove interesting." Reyna smiled. She was curious of the reactions.

**Naruto hummed. "Might not be good...Cabin Six might lose their shit."**

Annabeth looked sheepish as Athena huffed.

**"Why?" Thalia asked.**

**"Minerva, Athena's Roman 'form'," Naruto used finger quotes with the word, "isn't the Roman goddess of war. She's a craftswoman."**

**"...Huh, that's a...rather severe demotion." Thalia blinked in surprise.**

Athena glared at Ares for his snickering.

"Poor little War Muffin." Ares mocked.

Athena snarled at him, barely restraining herself.

**Naruto nodded. "Not to mention the Romans stole something from her Parthenon. That'll undoubtedly cause problems."**

**"So if she's not the goddess of war, who is?" Thalia asked.**

**"Bellona, Mars' Roman twin sister...or wife...dunno, really, never asked which was accurate," Naruto said with a shrug.**

"Sister." Reyna confirmed.

"Mars and she shake it up every now and again." Ares shrugged, getting Reyna and Frank to go a little green.

"Too much information." Athena said crisply.

"Nonsense!" Aphrodite tittered.

**"Bellona?" Thalia asked.**

**"Yeah, you know, Rey-chan's mom?"**

**Thalia glowered at the reminder. **

"Heh," Reyna smirked at how easily just her named angered Thalia.

Thalia gave a sour look to this.

**Naruto, familiar with the look on his girlfriend's face but not sure why it was there, decided to change the topic. "So, um, how did you find uh...Hazel?"**

**Thalia's nostrils flared for a moment before she exhaled and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm tired, I'll tell you tomorrow if Bianca doesn't tell your clone tonight."**

"Ouch," Apollo winced, "he's lucky he didn't get the couch."

The husbands all nodded to the fearful cushioned domain they never wished to visit.

**Naruto nodded and they laid back down for the night, not another word spoken.**

Zeus glowered that the boy was still sleeping there. He had his own cabin, use it!

**Several hours later found Naruto awake as the sun started to rise. The blond slipped his arm from Thalia's waist and snuck out of bed. With his natural silence, he vanished from the cabin and made his way over to Cabin Thirteen. He hummed a little and interlaced his hands behind his head. "**_**This woman is my destiny, she said...**_**something...Hm. I could make something out of that...maybe..."**

"Oh! It seems he's writing a ballet for you, Little Miss Hunter~!" Aphrodite sang, getting Thalia glare at her.

"For some reason I just really want to dance." Apollo hummed, rubbing his chin.

"Oh shut up already." Artemis sighed, she'd heard enough nonsense for now.

**"Something out of what?"**

**Naruto didn't jump at the arrival of the masked one-eyed trainer. He simply turned, slightly disinterested, to look at Kakashi. The shinobi had taken up residence in the Big House since his 'transfer' here. Officially, his mission was to keep a tab on the Sage of the Alliance, but unofficially he was here to keep tabs on the demigods and Olympians as a whole. **

"Burn the spy!" Ares declared.

"Let's not," Aphrodite said, eager to see under his mask.

**An expected outcome from Naruto's bombshell, but not a dangerous one for Kakashi. Dionysus was quick on the uptake and had returned a week after the shinobi's arrival from a meeting that allowed Kakashi to stay in camp and teach the children. Naruto knew that Kakashi knew that the Olympians knew he was here to investigate them. **

"All this I know that you know that I know stuff is annoying." Percy admitted.

"You mean it hurts your head?"

"Shut it, Pinecone Face." The son of Poseidon glared dully at his immortal cousin.

**In short, the 'mission' was going to go smoothly as long as Kakashi kept himself in check and didn't decide to sneak around for information. Naruto was pleased to note that Kakashi had instead kept to read different books on the subject and came to him or Chiron for questions.**

**"Nothing Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said. He was glad to have him here, but at the same time, Kakashi's presence disturbed Naruto. It reminded him of his past and how he could never go back now that he knew the truth. "So, what's the 'myth' today?"**

**"Theseus and his trip to Athens," Kakashi said. He turned the page. "Thus far, Theseus has proven to be one of my favorite heroes."**

"I hate him already." Dionysus sneered.

Percy rolled his eyes.

"Honestly, Dionysus, grow up." Poseidon groaned. Seriously, the wine god held a grudge longer then Hades!

The wine god huffed, like he would.

**"Don't let Dionysus hear you say that." Naruto snorted.**

**Kakashi frowned behind his mask. "That wasn't entirely Theseus' fault. In some retellings, such as this book, Athena had woken Theseus and told him to leave Ariadne behind."**

Athena smirked at Dionysus, making him glare heatedly at her.

**"Do you think Dionysus, who married her, cares?" Naruto asked flatly.**

"No." the party god bluntly said.

**Kakashi tilted his head in thought. "Hm, true. Still, those that say Theseus chose to leave her often come without divine intervention. And knowing they exist, I'm more inclined to believe that Athena wanted Theseus, the reformer of her city Athens, to leave them and marry an Athenian."**

Percy looked thoughtful on that.

"See, Dionysus?"

"Silence Athena," Dionysus warned.

Athena scoffed at his tough demeanor.

**"That would mean she actually approved of him." Naruto chuckled. "Theseus was the son of Poseidon."**

**"Oh, you mean the one she has the hots for?"**

"…He must die." Athena declared.

"Have something to share?" Poseidon asked innocently.

"Silence Fish Face!"

**"...You've read too much of Ero-sennin's novels..."**

**"Nonsense!" Kakashi's eye shone in determination. "I've learned much from Jiraiya's brilliance, and from yours–"**

"A smut writer, how demining." Artemis sighed, her poor good nephew.

**"Shut it!" Naruto hissed. The less connection he had with that **_**thing**_** he wrote for Jiraiya, the better.**

**Kakashi ignored him. "And I know that the more a woman dislikes someone, the more she's attracted to him! It's the only logical explanation!"**

The gods looked at Athena.

"No." she hissed like a viper.

"Makes sense to me." The lady of doves grinned wildly.

**Naruto palmed his head. "You're so smote...I give you a day, tops."**

**Kakashi huffed and returned to his book. "Aphrodite would agree with me."**

"Oui!"

**"Of course she would. Talk about the juiciest gossip..." Naruto returned dryly. Yeah, Athena and Poseidon. That would happen...just as soon as Artemis had sex with someone.**

"Which we all know is never." The goddess of _Maidens_ stated firmly.

**"And I'm sure Poseidon has some desires himself," Kakashi continued. "Why did he take Medusa in Athena's temple? Because she was not only a devotee to the goddess, but her beauty was comparable to Athena's statue's likeness. There's some strong desire there."**

Poseidon shifted a bit.

"Something to tell the class, Poseidon?" Athena smirked.

"You wish, Owl Head."

**"...Kakashi, who exactly was your mother?" Naruto asked warily.**

"What's this?" Aphrodite perked up, interested.

**Kakashi hummed. "Dunno really, she died when I was really young. Dad followed soon after."**

Percy palmed his face, "Of course he would be."

**"Did she have a name?" Naruto asked.**

**Kakashi blinked and his brow furrowed. "You know...I don't remember...I could've sworn I'd seen her grave...Maybe?"**

**Naruto stopped walking and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kakashi-sensei...take off your mask and headband."**

"Yes!" Aphrodite said in an excited whispered, leaning forward.

**Kakashi shrugged and lifted his headband so that his scarred eye was shown, the Sharingan beneath it hidden by the eyelid. He lowered his mask and revealed another mask. "Ta-da!"**

"…That is a brilliant trick." Hermes awed.

**Naruto frowned at him. "The real mask, Kakashi."**

**Kakashi chuckled. "Yeah, uh, no."**

**Naruto crossed his arms. "Sensei. It's just you and me. No one else is awake...except for the bright jackass in the sky."**

"Hey!" Apollo whined.

**"You shouldn't call your father names, Naruto."**

"Kakashi is a front runner for my favorite student." The sun god hummed.

**Naruto's eye twitched. "He **_**kidnapped**_** me. I'm entitled to call him a jackass for that."**

**Kakashi hummed. "Hm, touché."**

**"...How do you know that word but Iruka-sensei-? Never mind." Naruto shook his head. "Look, sensei. Ever since Hades hired me, I've had a job that I'm **_**very**_** good at. I can look at kids and see they're different, where they **_**belong**_**."**

**"You find demigods...Wait, do you think...?" Kakashi blinked stupidly. He then shook his head. "No, no...Naruto, I am **_**not**_** a demigod. This is a ploy to get me to take my mask off, not even your father could do that."**

Apollo slumped in his seat at that. Lamesauce.

**"...Point. Alright then, sensei. How's about this?" Naruto really regretted what he was going to say. "We make a deal?"**

**Kakashi's brown eye narrowed. "What sort of deal?"**

**"You show me your face and I'll..." Naruto swallowed in defeat. "I'll write another **_**Icha-Icha**_** book."**

Artemis and Aphrodite gasped, for totally different reasons.

"No, nephew! Do not submit!"

"Do it!" Aphrodite cheered.

The goddess glared at one another viciously.

Apollo sang the Hallelujah song.

**The sun beamed down on him and Kakashi narrowed his eye accusingly. "You're bluffing."**

**Naruto groaned. "Let Apollo have Zeus strike me down if I am."**

"Bluff bluff bluff bluff." Zeus chanted under his breath.

**Kakashi looked up and no clouds appeared. "Huh, and I'd have thought he would've done it. Considering who you're with and all."**

"I would." Zeus openly admitted with a huff.

**"See? No bluff. But you have to swear on the Styx that you'll lower your mask for two minutes." Kakashi frowned. Naruto crossed his arms. "I'll even get some notes from Jiraiya and...and I'll ask Dad for help."**

Apollo was about to sing the Hallelujah song again, but Artemis stepped on his foot, hard. "Ow!"

**Kakashi's eye widened. Apollo had seen many a beautiful woman before, and those ladies varied in looks, personality, and lifestyles...**

**"Call the book **_**Icha-Icha Kami**_** and you've got a deal." Kakashi crossed his arms.**

The male gods, and Aphrodite, looked oddly intrigued.

The rest of the goddesses did not look pleased.

**"Swear on the Styx, first." Naruto's eyes narrowed.**

**The two held a stare for a long while before Kakashi sighed. "Fine. I swear on the Styx to lower my **_**real**_** mask for two minutes."**

**The cloudless sky boomed and Kakashi looked around. "Huh, dramatic, isn't it?"**

"The sky always is." Hades quipped.

"Ha ha." Zeus mock laughed.

**"That's how the Greeks roll," Naruto said with a shrug. Drama **_**everywhere**_**. **

"And it is delicious." Aphrodite licked her lips.

"mom…" Piper said in embarrassment.

**"I agree to get notes from Jiraiya, ask Dad for help and...ugh, call it **_**Icha-Icha Kami**_**. ...But seriously, turn down the lights!"**

**This was directed at the source of the sunbeam directed at him from the chariot far above the ground. The light dimmed to a minor annoyance and Naruto huffed. He'll take what he can get.**

"Damn right you will." Apollo smirked, that's what he got!

**Kakashi giggled perversely before he reached up and grabbed the edge of his mask. Naruto watched intently, his inner twelve-year-old crowed in victory while he tried to stay focused. The finger slipped beneath the fabric and, after a moment of hesitation, Kakashi started to bring his mask down.**

**The nose and cheekbones were revealed first. Kakashi's cheekbones were high, though not overly visible and his nose wasn't pristine, it was a bit wider than average, but Naruto attributed that to one too many breaks. The jawline had Naruto a bit stunned as it was revealed. A thin stubble of silver hairs was hidden beneath the mask. And it didn't itch? Interesting. Finally the lips, a bit thin and a bit pale, but overall rather handsome. Naruto was reminded of Jason Statham a bit, the Englishman's jaw was a notable feature, more so than his smooth head.**

"Transporter, huh?" Leo hummed.

**Yeah, Kakashi Hatake was **_**definitely**_** a son of Aphrodite.**

Aphrodite squealed!

**He even had a little pink dove above his mess of silver hair to prove it.**

**Kakashi was engulfed in a bright light that swiftly vanished as soon as it appeared. Now, Kakashi had lost his bird's nest and it was trimmed down to a short shag that was more of a controlled storm of spikes, much like Naruto's own. **

"Ninja's have the nicest hair." Piper noted.

"Pinky girl." Thalia grunted.

"Almost all of them." The daughter of love corrected.

**His Jonin attire was **_**gone**_**. Kakashi cleaned up well in relaxed jeans, and a tight Camp shirt that had a low neckline. Like Naruto, Kakashi's feet still bore the combat sandals they were used to and his headband still rested around his head.**

**Oddly, Naruto felt a bit proud Aphrodite approved of their combat sandals. It was nice to have stylish and useful footwear.**

"Stylish and functionality _is_ important." The love goddess nodded.

**Kakashi, however, freaked. "My mask! My vest! Where'd my stuff go!?"**

"You got jacked, bro." Piper deadpanned, turning to give her mother a small glare.

"I gave it back!"

"You still took my jacket in the first place!"

"Ladies, please, you're both pretty." Apollo drawled.

Mother and daughter huffed as one.

**"Your mommy jacked them," Naruto said with a snicker. He knelt down and bowed his head. "All hail Kakashi Hatake, son of Aphrodite, goddess of love, beauty and the lady of doves!"**

The demigods all clapped, Piper did so with more enthusiasm.

**His voice echoed through camp and Kakashi paled. He covered his face with his hands and shirt. "Wait, I promised to take my mask off for two minutes and **_**only**_** two minutes!"**

**"Yeah, and it's been three minutes," Naruto said as he stood back up. "Aphrodite, however, gives you a makeover when she claims you as one of her children. Maybe you'll find some cloth in Cabin Ten to use. Maybe you can just ask her for it back."**

**Kakashi kept his face covered as he ran away. Naruto laughed as he heard Kakashi shout at the groggy campers. "Don't look at me!"**

"I'm hideous!" Leo cried out, sobbing into his hands.

Jason patted his shoulder, "There there, Leo." He said mockingly.

"Curse you pretty boys!"

**Naruto wiped a tear away from his eye. "It's the simple things in life."**

"It really is. Like blue cookies."

Thalia looked at Annabeth, "Why?" she just asked.

Annabeth shrugged, love was weird.

**When he entered Cabin Thirteen, Naruto received all of the memories of his clone. It turns out Bianca did tell Naruto's clone what had happened and how she met her sister, Hazel.**

**Apparently, after her run in with Melinoe and the return of Hades' sword – which resulted in a stern glare from Hades to his wife while Kushina snickered and received a look of betrayal from Persephone **

Demeter glared at Hades, "Hey, I was trying to keep the balance."

"I agree with Hades." Zeus nodded, a sour look on his face.

"Third." Poseidon pitched in.

"And the end of the world is coming…again." Percy hung his head, getting the room to laugh as the Big Three glared (Poseidon brooded) at him.

– **Bianca decided to search out her mother's spirit in the Fields of Asphodel in order to put an end to all of her insecurities about her mother. She wasn't successful in finding her mother, but did stumble across Hazel Lévesque, whom Pluto had hidden away and cared for in secret. **

Hazel smiled at Hades for that. She got a slight nod back.

**With the cunning mind she inherited from her father and honed with Kushina, Bianca returned her sister to life by tricking Thanatos. **

"…Girl's got balls." Ares whistled.

"I would've paid to see that." Percy admitted.

"Same," Frank nodded.

**The god of the dead did complain to Hades, but the Lord of the Underworld merely waved his complaints off, amused and proud of his daughter's actions. **

"I really am. Thanatos is very crafty in his own right." Hades noted with a quirked lip.

**After a final goodbye to Kushina, Bianca brought Hazel back to camp, where she was claimed immediately.**

"I'm at Camp Half-Blood? Cool!" Hazel beamed.

**"**_**Well isn't that a relief?"**_

**Naruto furrowed his brow at Helios' comment. **_**And where have you been?**_

**"**_**Oh, just...checking on something..."**_** Helios tried hard to sound innocent.**

**Naruto turned into the cabin bathroom and looked at Helios' face in the mirror. **_**How? You're stuck in my body...er, soul...right?**_

**Helios snickered at the first description. **_**"Yeah, but I'm still all-seeing. And while you are a handsome son of a bitch, no offense."**_

**"I'm pretty sure Kaachan would take it as a compliment," Naruto drawled.**

**"**_**You're just not my type. Too much alpha male in you."**_

"Nonsense! Nothing wrong with a little Alpha, right, Artemis?" Aphrodite gave the huntress a wolfish whistle.

Artemis just gave her a burning glare.

**Naruto rolled his eyes and walked out of the bathroom, just as Nico came out of his bedroom. He greeted his charge with a tussle of Nico's messy black hair. The boy grumbled at him and tiredly slapped his hand away, which made Naruto laugh.**

**"Sleep well?" Naruto asked.**

**Nico glowered at him with bags under his eyes. **

"I spot the being of Emo Nico." Thalia hummed.

"Shut up, Hunter Girl." Nico glowered.

**"One sister was fine, but two up all night gossiping about some boy named 'Sammy' is annoying."**

Frank brooded at that.

"Awkward~" Leo sang as Hazel looked flustered.

**"Sammy what?" Naruto inquired, curious.**

**Nico shrugged. "Dunno, don't really care."**

"As any eleven year old would." Apollo sniggered, "Until puberty!"

"Whoo." Nico deadpanned.

**Naruto chuckled in amusement as Nico left via shadow travel to the pavilion to get some breakfast. The blond guardian went to the next room over – where Bianca had moved so she and Will could get some private time, **

Nico grunted at that.

Percy patted his shoulder, "Hey, it's cool."

Nico just grunted again.

**though she used the excuse that she was too old to stay with Nico – and knocked on the door. "Wakey-wakey ladies, this is your morning alarm."**

**A duo of tired groans was his response. With a roll of his eyes, Naruto cracked the door, only to slam it shut immediately after. He got a rather loud French exclamation from an unfamiliar voice, the owner of he assumed to be Hazel, and a cry of his name from Bianca.**

"Girl gossip?" Hazel smiled softly, she would have loved to do that with Bianca. Such a shame.

**"No more arguments, wake up! Out of bed by the time I'm showered or I'm coming in with a bucket of water for the both of you!" **

"He wouldn't!" Hazel panicked.

"He would." Piper snickered at her friend.

**His warning given, Naruto went to his room to shower and change. He was done in five minutes and unsurprisingly, both girls were still in their room.**

"Someone's going to get wet."

"Leo Valdez!" Hestia scolded.

"I'm not wrong." Leo shrugged.

"Boy has a point," Ares snickered, it was a good one.

**"**_**Well, you warned them."**_** Helios chuckled. Naruto shook his head in disapproval and went to fill two buckets up. When he found two buckets and filled them, he returned and kicked Bianca's door in. The two girls were sprawled in opposite directions on the sole bunk, Bianca with her arms around a pillow and Hazel curled up in a ball. Naruto made a clone and handed a bucket to him.**

**"One...two...three!" Naruto and his clone dumped the water on both of their heads. Hazel and Bianca shot up with shrill shrieks and both of them fell out of the bed.**

"Hehe…" Nico tried to hold it in.

Hazel pushed him with a pout. She'd get him herself next time if he thought _that_ was funny.

**Hazel glared up at the clone with golden eyes, her dark hair soaked to her cocoa brown skin. The clone laughed and vanished in an explosion of smoke, which allowed his bucket to fall on her head like a helmet.**

**"Not cool, Naruto!" Bianca glared at the smirking blond.**

**Naruto tossed his bucket to the side. "Well, if you two had decided to wake up instead of sleep in..."**

**"We were up all night, **_**coullion**_** (idiot)!" Hazel grit out as she pushed the bucket off her head and glared at Naruto.**

"Angry Hazel is angry!" Piper grunted threatening, getting a slap from Hazel.

"Such language!" Leo gasped.

**Naruto just shrugged and crossed his arms. "Not my fault you two were up talking past lights out."**

**Hazel crossed her arms and grumbled under her breath. "**_**Nec sapit pueri instar bimuli termula patris dormientis in ulna.**_** (He hasn't got the brains of a sleeping two-year-old rocked in his father's arm)."**

"Oooooh." The Romans said.

**"**_**Quod si nonfacisaliquiddicere, non dicere aliquid.**_** (If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all)." Naruto delighted in the look of surprise that overtook Hazel's face and smirked as her cheeks flushed. "Anything you can do, I can do better~!"**

"I can do anything better than you~!" Annabeth sang.

"Annabeth's theme song."

"Percy!" the blonde snapped with flushed cheeks at her grinning boyfriend.

**Hazel just glowered at him.**

**Naruto turned and walked out while he sang softly. "I can do anything better than you~! No you can't, yes I can..."**

**His singing lingered in the hallway while the two girls got dressed for the day. Once they came out, Naruto had downgraded to whistling as he examined one of his trick arrows. He looked up and the whistling stopped.**

**"Okay, are we ready to start the day now?" Naruto asked with a smirk. The girls glared at him. **

"That's a yes." Annabeth smirked as Hazel pouted at her.

Percy rubbed his chin, only to get his cheek pulled, "Ow!"

"Don't even think about it." Annabeth warned him.

"No prob, you do that for the both us." Percy shot back.

Annabeth sat a little straighter at that.

**"Good! Now, come along ladies. I'm sure Will's excited to see his girlfriend safe and sound...and he'll be so excited to hear all about the quest she suddenly left on without warning."**

**Bianca's eyes widened and she shot past Naruto with an apology to Hazel over her shoulder. Will was a bit of a worrywart, **

"Big time," Nico snickered, a small smile on his face.

**which made sense since he was one of the best in camp when it came to medicine and healers. Naruto smirked and looked over at Hazel.**

**"I guess that means it's just you and me, Hazel," Naruto said with a shrug.**

**"Pardon if I'm not enthused," Hazel said dryly. **

"You're pardoned milady." Leo said in a Southern accent.

"Shut up." The geokinetic glared.

**She crossed her arms and turned to him with a frown on her face. "I don't need to be protected."**

**"Oh, I know." Naruto nodded. "Neither do Nico or Bianca, they're both strong enough now. Bianca's already beaten a Titan **

Hades looked smug at that.

**and Nico's helped complete a quest. **

"And I've helped with a delivery." Nico added with his statue postal service.

"I've been looking for interns." Hermes told his young cousin.

"No thanks." Nico waved him off, he was going to relax from excessive traveling for a while.

**Still, I have to keep a semblance of an eye on one of you three to make sure I don't piss off the boss downstairs."**

**Hazel's frown lightened. "Is that why you leave camp a lot?"**

**"Gossiping about me already? Does someone have a crush?" Naruto teased.**

Frank frowned while Hazel gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

**"You're handsome, but not **_**that**_** handsome." Hazel shook her head.**

"Hey!" Apollo frowned.

"Sorry?" Hazel shrugged.

**Naruto put his hands over his chest. "You wound me!"**

**Hazel rolled her eyes. "Uh-huh..."**

**Naruto dropped his hands into his pockets. "I should warn you, don't get too comfortable here. Eventually I'm going to have to take you somewhere. First, I'm going to bring you and someone else with me to Canada."**

Frazel smiled at one another.

Aphrodite looked giddy.

**Hazel arched a dark brow. "Canada?"**

**"Yeah, you know, the place with Mounties, bears, hockey, and great health care**

"Suck it." Frank grinned, his country ruled!

**...Hm...maybe Konoha should implement a similar system...or the Land of Fire as a whole," Naruto said to himself before he shook it off. Why did he care? He lived in the States now, Konoha was none of his business.**

**"What's Konoha?" Hazel asked.**

**"Birthplace. Where you from?" Naruto asked.**

**"New Awlins," she said.**

"Nice funerals there." Nico noted fondly.

"I'll pass." Hazel told him dryly, dying once was enough.

**"Alright, second question. **_**When**_** are you from?"**

**"The thirties," Hazel said. Bianca had explained to her that sixty years had passed since Hazel was alive. Hazel asked if that made her the older sister, and Bianca, who was thirteen and from the early twenties, told her flatly 'no'.**

"Hey, I am older." Hazel frowned, she was born in 1928! Nico was from the early thirties, "She's so lying!"

"The fiend!" Apollo gasped, looking at Artemis with a mock glare.

Artemis just returned it, "You are still younger."

"I demand proof!"

"Mother."

"…She's too biased!"

**"You missed the roarin' twenties, huh? Shame. How'd the depression treat you?"**

**"Didn't really get that affected by it," Hazel grunted.**

Hazel looked down at that. While she loved her mother, her greed was still a sour subject.

**Naruto arched a brow at the reply but didn't press further. "Okay...Wanna tell me who Sammy is?"**

**Hazel frowned at him and then looked ahead as the pavilion came into view. "Not real-"**

**"Yo **_**gringo**_**!" Naruto and Hazel turned as a familiar elf-eared boy jogged up to Naruto with a grin on his face. **

"And here it comes." Leo snickered.

Hazel buried her face in her hands, "This is going to be _so_ embarrassing."

**"Wanna see what Beck and me fixed while you were gone?"**

**"Later, **_**shrimp**_**," Naruto smirked at the boy. "And it's Beck and **_**I**_**."**

**"Bah, whatever. English is a pain in the butt." The boy shrugged. **

Percy gave Leo a smile and held out his fist.

Leo returned the fist bump.

**He took note of Naruto's companion. "Sup?"**

**"S-Sammy?" Hazel asked with wide eyes.**

**"Who?" Leo looked the girl over. **

Frank glared at Leo, "Hey, you haven't even shown up yet dude, no glares." He countered.

The son of Mars huffed at that.

**Naruto rolled his eyes and shook his head, Leo's thoughts were easy to read. And Naruto wasn't even psychic.**

**"Her boyfriend," Naruto said. "Er, ex-boyfriend."**

**Hazel glowered at him again and Leo arched a brow. "I look like her ex-boyfriend? How is that possible?"**

"Time Travel!" Apollo announced in a deep voice.

"Not funny," Zeus frowned.

Hermes snorted, "I beg to differ. Doctor Who."

The got a majority of people to hum the theme.

**"His name was Sam Valdez," Hazel said.**

**Leo blinked. "Whoa...that was my great-grandfather's name...Coincidence?"**

"No." Everyone in the room said.

**Naruto furrowed his brows. "No. Demigods don't have coincidences."**

**While Naruto tried to sort this all out, Leo sighed in relief and rested his hands behind his head. "Well, at least this isn't one of those Grandfather Paradox situations..."**

"Too true." Leo nodded, he only had one love of his life thank you very much.

**"Grandfather what?" Hazel asked.**

**Naruto answered without looking at her. "The Grandfather Paradox, where if one goes back in time and kills his or her grandfather, thus ensuring the time traveler never existed. However, if the time traveler never existed, then the grandfather would never be killed, which would mean the time traveler is born after all and the paradox repeats without solution."**

**Leo was shocked. He knew what the paradox was from Doctor Who. **

"We all did." Percy nodded.

"Did you understand it?" Annabeth raised a brow.

Percy shrugged, "The basics."

**"...Dude, how did you-?"**

**"A science fiction writer named Nat Schachner coined the paradox," Naruto said. "He was a legacy of Apollo."**

**"A legacy?" Leo asked.**

**"A descendant of a god or goddess," Naruto said. "Greeks don't really hold the legacy system in play since the appearances of ancestors' abilities are so rare and their scents are diluted."**

"But Camp Jupiter does." Jason stated.

"Our camp is so much smaller." Percy muttered, they had bakeries! All those cookies to be blue…

"It's fine." Annabeth told him, they had quality, not quantity.

**"Oh...Camp would have a lot more people if we did," Leo said once he put it all together.**

**"Yes, yes it would," Naruto said under his breath with a frown on his face. "We've got to go, Leo. I'll see you and Beck later. Might need to take my car out..."**

**"What? But you just brought it back!" Leo scowled. "That's not a lot of time to upgrade it..."**

**"Then tune it." Naruto started to walk away. Hazel gave Leo another look before she followed Naruto to her table.**

**Leo scowled. "Tune it? Waste of time**

"You upgrade, not tune," Leo agreed, always continue to make it better!

**...maybe I could get a slice of that H-bomb and improve it...just gotta grab some food and head to the 'rage. And make sure Emery doesn't eat it...stupid cat."**

"This is why I'm a dragon guy." The pyro nodded to his other.

**"Campers!" Chiron's voice directed most of the attention to where he stood at the head table.**

**A loud whistle had everyone look at Kakashi, who had grabbed his emergency spare mask hidden in his scrolls in the Big House, **

"Sweetie, no!" Aphrodite pouted.

"He looks good." Hermes said, "More mysterious!"

"He has a face to show for a reason, he shouldn't hide it!"

**sat at the table on the centaur's other side, much to Cabin Ten's dismay. They hardly got a glimpse at their new older brother's face before he got the black mask back on, though a few of the girls felt a bit sick they had crushed on their brother for the past few months. **

"Like the old saying; Incest is wincest~!" Aphrodite sang.

"Aphrodite, honestly!" Hestia frowned.

Aphrodite just pointed to all the elder gods.

Hestia pouted at this.

**He turned to Chiron and nodded. "Floor's yours, Chiron."**

**"Thank you, Kakashi," Chiron said. He glanced at the god beside him and added. "At least **_**someone**_** helps me around here."**

Dionysus whistled innocently as the rest of the gods rolled their eyes. The wine god was honestly a lost cause.

**Dionysus huffed and slurped loudly through a straw into a can of Diet Coke. Chiron ignored his antics and looked back at his campers. "If you hadn't learned before, we have two new campers."**

**"Do **_**not**_** count me among them," Kakashi said sharply. He was nearly thirty for goodness sake! And he hadn't been an eligible 'camper' since he was five.**

"Super ninja skills and all." Apollo nodded.

"He's still a camper, any demigod is." Zeus rumbled.

**Chiron ignored him. "First, Kakashi Hatake, our new combat teacher, has been claimed as Aphrodite's. You may move into Cabin Ten whenever-"**

**"Pass." Kakashi's flat denial got a loud group whine from the table his 'siblings' sat at. Silena sent him a pout along with Piper and their other sisters, and the boys gave him pleading looks.**

"We do need more guys in there. It's overly girly." Piper sighed.

"Nonsense!" Aphrodite huffed. She just ha more girls than boys is all.

**"Where's the love, bro?" a boy, Mitchel, asked him aloud.**

**Kakashi closed his eye and smiled at him. "In combat practice, Mitchel. You know that."**

"Burn," Jason winced.

"I'm sure they'll benefit from it." Reyna commented.

"With bruises and all." Thalia snickered.

**The table scowled at him. "That's not love!"**

**Ares' children snickered before Mark called out. "Hell yeah it is! That's tough love right there!"**

"Amen!" Ares laughed.

Aphrodite pursed her lips at that.

**"Thank you Mark," Kakashi said with a nod. "Aptly put."**

**"Be grateful he hasn't used the Leaf Village's most secret and deadly technique on you," Naruto said. He smirked secretly while somewhere else, Jason Grace and Percy Jackson shuddered. **

Percy and Jason had a traumatized look on their faces, as if they could feel their others pain. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

**Kakashi began to rub his chin in thought and Thalia choked on some water due to her laughter when the man audibly hummed as though he was considering it.**

**Chiron cleared his throat. "Yes, well, secret techniques aside...Our other new camper is Hazel Lévesque, daughter of...Hades."**

**"Pluto," Hazel corrected. The campers looked at her and she shied away into her meal.**

"And here it comes…" Jason rolled his eyes.

"Burn the witch!"

"Ares!" Hades snapped, murder in his eyes as Hazel flinched at the witch commented.

Frank glared at his father, who shrugged.

"What?"

**"Yes, er..." Chiron looked to Dionysus, who let a sly smirk cross his face.**

**"The vote came back. The council agreed that our lovely brats are to be informed ever since Navajo's stunt last summer," he said. He looked at his nails. "Personally, I hope there's another Civil War. Less brats to worry about that way."**

"…Wow, you really are pitiful, Dionysus." Hermes commented, the other gods giving him looks.

Dionysus shrugged uncaringly.

"I wonder what Caster and Pollux think." Percy hummed.

Dionysus cut a glare to Percy, but he just ignored.

**"Mr. D!" Chiron hissed while the camp began to murmur in worry.**

**"No, he's right. I'm sure his children would love it," Kakashi said as he flipped through a college-level American History Book. "I mean, the threat of death is bad enough in one war, as Castor can atone to, but a civil war atop of it? Who knows what might happen?"**

"And Kakashi for the win." Hermes snickered as the wine god scowled.

**Dionysus scowled and glared at the man that seemed to ignore him. At his children's table, Castor shivered like someone had just walked over his grave while Pollux frowned. Naruto shook his head, amazed at Kakashi's blunt statement.**

**"Why would there be another Civil War?" Annabeth asked with a frown.**

"Here it comes." Jason commented, making Annabeth flush and rub her face. Oh, this was going to go smoothly. Not.

**"Yes, Mr. D, why would there be another Civil War?" Kakashi asked. He glanced slyly at the god. "Do tell us about the mistakes made by **_**all**_** parties."**

"Oh he is just asking for it." The young god spat lowly.

**Dionysus' face purpled. "I will turn you into a-!"**

**"Dove? I got you beat, I can do that already," Kakashi said. He exploded in a plume of smoke and a dove with the same mask over its beak and a band around its eye appeared where he sat. **

Aphrodite clapped, "Even a mask and headband! Wonderful accessorizing, Kakie~"

**Dionysus glared at the bird and it exploded once more to reveal Kakashi back to normal. He eye-smiled at the god. "Ta-da!"**

**"Kakashi, please," Chiron said urgently while Dionysus fumed.**

**"What? It's not my fault that he doesn't take his father's words to heart." He looked directly at Dionysus though he didn't turn from his seat. **

Zeus nodded, maybe Dionysus actually learned his lesson and his sentence could very well be reduced further. But no, all he does is whine about.

Dionysus' face burned at that.

**"Gods aren't all knowing, after all. Even Apollo's prophecies don't specify what will happen, just that something **_**could**_** happen depending on a person."**

**Dionysus stood abruptly and, with a scowl on his face, turned to the man. "Would you like to test me, **_**bird boy**_**?"**

"Oooh, can't handle the truth?" Apollo mocked Dionysus. He honestly deserved it with the crap he put on their kids.

**"Hm? Oh no. I'd die in a heartbeat," Kakashi said calmly. He gave the god another eye-smile. "I fail to see why you're so upset. I'm just telling you my opinion."**

"I think that might be a crime," Percy snorted.

"Silence, Peter."

"No, he doesn't have to." Poseidon told Mr. D harshly, narrowing his sea green eyes.

**When Dionysus remained quiet, Kakashi opened his eye in what looked like honest confusion. "Is that not allowed?"**

"Shots fired." Ares chuckled.

**"...Kakashi has balls," Nico said in awe. **

Nico nodded in agreement with his other.

**He winced when Bianca slapped him on the back of his head and Hazel frowned in confusion.**

The demigods snickered a bit at that while Hazel flushed.

Percy was loving Kakashi more and more.

**"Like you wouldn't believe, kid," Naruto chuckled and ate some more of his ramen. That was an impressive comeback to Mr. D. Even Naruto wouldn't dare get on the god's bad side. **

"Because he's smart." The party god grunted.

**Then again, Naruto had died already...and yet, so had Kakashi against Pein...Naruto frowned and wondered what that said about him.**

**"Mr. D," Chiron began with a stern frown. "I suggest you go read a magazine. You do not have to, but-!"**

**"Do not lecture **_**me**_**, Chiron!" Dionysus returned with a scowl. **

"Yes, because if he did you'd throw a hissy fit." Zeus snorted.

"Like son, like father." Poseidon smirked, getting a scowl from Zeus.

**He stepped away from his seat and glared at Kakashi. "This is not over, **_**dove boy**_**."**

**"And yet, you're the one walking away," Kakashi noted once the god was halfway from the table. **

"Suck that D, D." Ares bellowed a laugh.

"Says the loser." Dionysus scowled.

"I might have lost, but at least I don't run away." Ares mocked right back.

**Dionysus turned to glare at him and Kakashi looked up from his book. "Just stating a fact, **_**sir**_**."**

**"...Indeed." Dionysus turned and vanished from sight in the blink of an eye.**

"And that was beautiful." Percy smiled. Mr. D needed a good kick in the pants that was perfect.

**"Kakashi, please go for a walk," Chiron said with an insistent glare.**

**Kakashi glanced at him and then rose with a small yawn. "That sounds like a very good idea. I'll be at the stables if you need me Chiron."**

"Well, safe spot from Chiron," Annabeth giggled.

**Chiron's eyes narrowed as the ninja vanished in a cloud of smoke. He then rubbed his head with both hands. "Today is just not my day..."**

**"Chiron, what did Mr. D mean?" Annabeth asked again after a few moments of silence passed. "What happened to camp during the Civil War?"**

**Chiron sighed and looked at his campers. "...During the Civil War...there was another camp that...had **_**many**_** altercations with Camp Half-Blood."**

"There's a whole textbook on it," Leo snickered.

"Ugh, so not reading that." Percy groaned.

"The past is the past." Annabeth smiled at him.

"Thank you!" Percy exclaimed with a beaming grin.

**"Another camp?!" The campers burst into hushed whispers and murmurs.**

**"Campers...Campers!" Chiron stomped his hooves to regain attention, but the demigods were too riled up.**

**"Oh for the love of – EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" **

Frank paused at that, "Uh, sorry." He said.

"Forgiven." Hestia said with pursed lips. Honestly, such foul language!

**Naruto shouted as he rose from his seat. The campers silenced as Naruto's voice carried, Hazel's hands were over her ears and Bianca had covered Nico's once Naruto shot from his seat. With all eyes on him, Naruto glared back at all of them. "You will **_**not**_** talk while Chiron explains this moment in history that you have been denied. You will **_**not**_** interrupt him with questions about why it happened or how. You **_**will**_** keep your mouths shut, your asses planted, and your eyes on Chiron for the next five minutes or so help me I'll have you all in drills for the next two days **_**straight**_**! Clear!?"**

"I think that's his Roman side." Reyna commented.

Jason whistled, "Oh, definitely."

**The campers nodded mutely and immediately turned to Chiron. Chiron gave Naruto a bewildered look before he nodded in thanks. Naruto nodded in return and sat down as the centaur cleared his throat and began to talk about Camp Jupiter. He explained that when Greece fell to Rome, the gods gained new aspects and thus campers were not purely Greek anymore. The Roman aspects still exist to this day and their children had a camp of their own. Chiron then explained that due to altercations during the civil war, Camp Jupiter was moved to California, which explained why the amount of monsters in the West was a greater number than in the east.**

**When he was finished, the campers soaked this all in before Annabeth rose up in anger. "There's a Roman camp!?"**

Annabeth hung her head, great. Just what she needed, to embarrass herself over her mother's grudge.

**"Yes there is," Chiron said with a nod. "They are actually our western front and have held a good campaign from our reports against Kronos' army."**

**"But-but they conquered Greece!" Annabeth scowled. "Who's to say they won't leave us dry and helpless when Kronos prepares an all-out attack? You said they nearly wiped us out, and from what I've heard it sounds like they're a larger force than we are! They could be using this to -"**

The Romans looked at the bright red Annabeth, "Um, sorry."

"There's that Athena paranoia." Hermes said in a chipper tone.

Athena scowled at him.

**"That's enough, Annabeth!" Thalia rose and frowned at the blonde.**

"Thalia's going to lay down the butt-whoop." Nico whistled.

**Annabeth stared at her in shock. "You...Thalia, they're **_**Roman**_**, they -!"**

**"I **_**know**_** they're Roman, Annie," Thalia said with a calm face. "My little brother, Jason Grace, is the son of Jupiter."**

"Hi." Jason waved, getting Piper to playfully swat his arm with a smile.

**Annabeth quickly put it together. "That's why you kept going to California!? You've known?!"**

Thalia glanced at Annabeth, "You sound so accusing."

"Sorry." The sheepish blonde said.

**"I have too," Piper said softly, though through the quiet it was easily heard. Annabeth turned to her in mild surprise along with Piper's table.**

**"So have I," Naruto's voice surprised the camp. His eyes had hardened and his arms crossed over his chest as he stood from his seat once again. He lifted his shirt's sleeve and released the seal that hid his tattoo. "In my...absence, I had spent a year at Camp Jupiter. Afterwards, I spent at least two months at their training grounds with Lupa. Last year, I reintroduced Camp Jupiter to their Greek cousins and for the past few months, I have been preparing to make an official alliance with them."**

**"You don't have that right!" Annabeth frowned.**

"And you do?" Jason asked, not liking this Annabeth right now.

**"No, Annabeth, **_**you**_** have no right!" Thalia frowned at her friend. **

Jason nodded along with the other Romans.

Annabeth gave a painful groan at her other's ignorance.

**"What Chiron hasn't told you is that **_**our**_** camp started most of the altercations between the Greeks and Romans, all because of **_**one**_** goddess' grudge!"**

"What's her name again?" Ares asked mockingly, getting Athena to grit her teeth.

**"Thalia-!"**

**"No, Chiron, they have to know," Naruto said in support of Thalia's words. He nodded to her.**

**"Annabeth." Thalia's voice had a hint of apology to it, but it was hidden under a layer of anger. "Most of the fights were caused by a child of Athena."**

**Annabeth's angry frown turned confused. "What?"**

**"When Rome conquered Athens," Chiron began softly. "They poured salt in the wound by stealing the Athena Parthenon. **

"Which is now returned." Reyna stated factually.

Athena looked thankful at this.

**Then, to add more insult to injury, Athena's status as a war goddess was dropped when she became Minerva and the domain was given to Bellona, Mars' sister."**

**Undeterred, Annabeth spoke again. "But Minerva's children-!"**

The Roman desperately kept in a few sniggers at that.

**"Minerva has **_**no**_** children in Camp Jupiter," Naruto said with his eyes locked on Annabeth. The words shook the members of Athena's cabin, stunned everyone into dead silence. "She is a true virgin goddess like Artemis and Hestia. No loophole births, no love for her camp, and definitely no support to the Romans."**

**Annabeth sat down as though she had been stunned by a Taser rather than words. Naruto looked away from her and looked over the group. "Minerva has been quoted in her distain for the Romans that stripped her of her proud rank. As like with Athena, Minerva is vengeful and does not take to insult lightly. Her loss of domain has made her vengeful."**

"Like a crazy cat lady." Ares laughed and he winced, "Ow!" the war god rubbed his head.

Athena put her Aegis away. That'll teach him.

**"But we are not here to discuss the problems of Athena or Minerva," Naruto said. He looked to Hazel with a gentle smile. "We have a guest present. Hazel Lévesque is a daughter of Pluto." He looked at the campers with a glare. "You will treat her no different than you would any other camper. If I hear otherwise..."**

"I was treated fine, for the most part." Jason said, giving Annabeth a glance.

"Ugh," Annabeth gave a pained noise. Why couldn't people let things go?!

**The unsaid threat lingered in the air and a lot of campers let audible gulps escape them. The campers nodded and returned to their breakfast, small chatter escaped them as they resumed to dine and discuss this new discovery. Naruto handed his dishes to a nymph and then made his way towards table one, his tattoo on full display for each table as he walked past them.**

**Nico leaned in front of Bianca with a smirk on his face and looked at Hazel. "Told ya he was awesome."**

**"...He-he said..." Hazel looked pale from Naruto's swear.**

"Gosh darn it!"

"Shut up, Leo!" Hazel snapped, cheeks red.

**Bianca rolled her eyes and gave Nico a lopsided smile. "Pure of mind, pure of heart..."**

**"...Lamesauce," Nico snorted and sat back.**

Zeus frowned, he swore he heard that somewhere before.

"That was sick," Leo grinned.

"I liked it." Percy smirked, Kakashi was awesome.

"Who's next?" Frank asked.

"I'll take it." Percy said, snagging the book. Might as well get his turn over with.

* * *

><p><strong>Happy Valentine's Day guys! Enjoy!<br>**


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